Things I Care About Right Now (4)
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July 25, 2025
Things To Do
New section! Sharing things you can do/mutual aid initiatives/timely things to support and check out. I'm not sure how far my reach goes but want to make a spot for it.
Be on the lookout for a bundle from Game Devs of Color, the funds will be used to support independent bipoc game devs
Crips for eSims for Gaza is a collaboration between Jane Shi, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, and Alice Wong. Disabled people around the world are raising funds to get as many eSims as we can into Gaza.
Sign the ACLU's petition to stop Mastercard from keeping sex workers from doing work.
Trans people can obtain accurate passports again. Here’s how.
Three bundles of note are: No ICE in California (ends in 17 days), Canadian Wildfires Fundraiser (ends in about a month), and Texas Flood Relief Bundle
Hello! I am coming to you after recovering from a terrible series of bodymind pains that took me out for weeks including a migraine had me in a dark room crying while laying as still as possible for two days straight. These events have led me to a belief that I will now share with you:
1. Bodily Function Group Chats
They don't have to be all about this but there should be a place in every Discord, Whatsapp, Signal, etc. where it's a place where you can freak out about and ask questions on bodily functions. I think this is triply true for people of marginalized identities. It's cute for us to think that doctors are the end all be all but a lot of us know that we had to get our own diagnoses through our own research and I quite honestly believe that if we pooled our resources together we'd make sure we live a lot longer and with a lot less stress over whether or not we're gonna live in the first place.
The running joke that WebMD is going to tell you either you have a headache or you're about to die should not be an actual representation of our healthcare system. Okay, let me step back because this will go a different direction if given enough time, but I just think that if you knew you could go into a group chat without fear of it being used against you (unlike......at the doctor's), we might be able to heal the (seemingly) small things before they turn into unbearable enormous things.
2. What Are You Feeling Chart
Image description: A graph with the y-axis named energy and the x-axis named Pleasantness.
At the 0,0 point of the graph is the word Despair.
(0, 1) hopeless, (0, 2) desolate, (0, 3) spent, (0, 4) drained, (0, 5) sleepy, (0, 6) complacent, (0, 7) tranquil, (0, 8) cozy, (0, 9) serene
(1, 0) despondent, (1, 1) depressed, (1, 2) sullen, (1, 3) exhausted, (1, 4) fatigued, (1, 5) mellow, (1, 6) thoughtful, (1, 7) peaceful, (1, 8) comfy, (1, 9) carefree
(2, 0) alienated, (2, 1) miserable, (2, 2) lonely, (2, 3) disheartened, (2, 4) tired, (2, 5) relaxed, (2, 6) chill, (2, 7) restful, (2, 8) blessed, (2, 9) balanced
(3,0), pessimistic, (3, 1) morose, (3, 2) discouraged, (3, 3) sad, (3, 4) bored, (3, 5) calm, (3, 6) secure, (3, 7) satisfied, (3, 8) grateful, (3, 9) touched
(4,0) disgusted (4, 1) glum, (4, 2) disappointed, (4, 3) down, (4, 4) apathetic, (4, 5) at ease, (4, 6) easygoing, (4, 7) content, (4, 8) loving, (4, 9) fulfilled
(5,0) repulsed, (5, 1) troubled, (5, 2) concerned, (5, 3) uneasy, (5, 4) peeved, (5, 5) pleasant, (5, 6) joyful, (5, 7) hopeful, (5, 8) playful, (5, 9) blissful
(6, 0) anxious, (6, 1) apprehensive, (6, 2) worried, (6, 3) irritated, (6, 4) annoyed, (6, 5) pleased, (6, 6) happy, (6, 7) focused, (6, 8) proud, (6, 9) thrilled
(7, 0) fuming, (7, 1) frightened, (7, 2) angry, (7, 3) nervous, (7, 4) restless, (7, 5) energized, (7, 6) lively, (7, 7) enthusiastic, (7, 8) optimistic, (7, 9) excited
(8, 0) livid, (8, 1) furious, (8, 2) frustrated, (8, 3) tense, (8, 4) stunned, (8, 5) hyper, (8, 6) cheerful, (8, 7) motivated, (8, 8) inspired, (8, 9) elated
(9, 0) enraged, (9, 1) panicked, (9, 2) stressed, (9, 3) jittery, (9, 4) shocked, (9, 5) surprised, (9, 6) upbeat, (9, 7) festive, (9, 8) exhilarated, (9, 9) ecstatic.
I've, historically, been terrible at being able to tell people how I feel in the moment. It's led to many people receiving long handwritten letters explaining my feelings in depth like I'm a white woman writing to my long lost paramours across the ocean during whatever times they were doing that. This table has been helping me a lot because I can start with my energy level, which is a lot easier for me to recognize, and then work backwards on the pleasantness axis. So far, I've been able walk towards logical explanations instead of skydiving to wrong conclusions, so I highly recommend posting it in several different places to trick your mind into thinking more about it.
3. Scarlet Hollow
I didn't know Scarlet Hollow by Black Tabby Games wasn't finished yet and misread which chapter I was on, I thought I was on three but it was four and that's the last one released right now. It's about a person who goes back home to a small Appalachian town after a family member dies and weird shit happens as they learn family secrets.
Source. Image description: screenshot of worm-girl on Bluesky's screenshot of tonyyyyyy (parody)'s message on Discord that reads: at everyone The script for Episode 5 of Scarlet Hollow is finally finished, bringing the total word count for the game up to 884,000 words. This is the longest and most complicated chapter of the game to-date, coming in at 250,000 words, or 31% larger than the entirety of Slay the Princess, including its expansion. This won't be the final word count, either, since the script usually grows in length by a fair bit while i make edits and additions during implementation. For reference, Episode 4 was ~185k words in total, and for broader cultural context, the entirety of The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit and The Silmarillion altogether comes in at 700,000 words.
But it's for the best I went in without knowing this because otherwise I would've waited to experience the terror and joy of this story in progress and I hate that for alternative universe me.
A friend recommended Fledgling Manor and I LOVE IT. Vampires on a reality game show is actually more aligned with my interests than I realized and it's what my whole week was last week. I played one route with I think two different choices and it's easily one of my new favorites. I just want more and yes, I will be checking for fanfic.
Some other games I've enjoyed this week are Three Lesbians in a Barrow by Digital Poppy (a kind of sequel to The Testimony of Trixie Glimmer Smith about a trans rat girl and surviving curses (which I recommend (it's funny!) and am gonna play again next month!), When Aster Falls by Sad Ghost Studios(a succubus meets an asexual girl--I've been meaning to play for years and am glad I got to), and Ghosts of Miami by pillowfight(a latine woman tries to find a missing girl (I think, I'm like twenty minutes into this game but it's so colorful and the opening cutscene alone has me hooked)).
I am almost positive I've talked about Man or Muppet before but I love this essay/game/creation and I am still flabbergasted that it's made in bitsy
"It means I have to be legible in this pain".
Especially with being misgendered and having to re-closet myself to apply for work and whatever, I just am very thankful this exists.
4. This could be a television and movie section I guess
I have a very loose concept of time at the best of times and these aren't the best of times so I watched these movies anywhere from December 2024 til yesterday, but they must've been impactful enough for me to bring them up now.
Everyone has been talking about K-Pop Demon Hunters and that's because it is a fantastic movie and if you're a lil religiously traumatized queer bb like me, you're gonna be like oh, maybe my girl is closeted and trying to get out. Otherwise, you may not be like that, and you still won't regret this because it's bops galore in here. (You can tell how loved it is because I really thought this was an Official Site but I'm pretty sure people just love it so much they made their own.)
I am a thai gl person so I am suffering through Denied Love, enjoying Only You, and LOVING Whale Store xoxo with my friends. You cannot ask me to be objective or whatever about gl's (and I'm having a great time because after FreenBecky, LingOrm and MilkLove are the leads in two of my favorite series so far. I say as if I only have one pairing I am super against). I am here for the rom-com cringe and the little cheek kisses that make their hearts explode for ten minutes straight. This is my joy.
Some horror I've enjoyed are Closed School and Please Don't Feed the Children. People will quarrel over whether or not Black Mirror is horror but my friend and I just finished watching the entire series and Fifteen Million Merits, White Bear, White Christmas, Playtest, Shut Up And Dance (if you watch this I am giving you a huge trigger warning for the twist. I'm a sexual abuse survivor and that episode fucked me up for a while), Men Against Fire, Hated in the Nation, USS Callister, Black Museum, Joan is Awful, Loch Henry, Mazey Day, Common People, and USS Callister: Into Infinity prove this is a horror series. Yes, these were the ones I cared about the most. Probably.
Wait, okay I was wondering why I felt like I had seen a whole bunch of movies and television lately. I went through 200+ movies/shows of movie images through ShotDeck during my two week trial and all those movies and shows I've been thinking about were me just reliving them through that, let's move on.
Something you probably don't need to know about me but I'm gonna share anyways is I will read the first and last sentence of something to see if I can see what might happen within it. So, I decided to do that with this article explaining the ending of The Killing of Sacred Deer, (which I have never seen because I've heard this movie will fuck you up and I'd like to space those experiences out as much as possible, but I'm still nosy) and I've just been really obsessed with these last two sentences:
Even in the face of an unblinking God, we humans will search for any Earthly source of relief telling us it's okay to blink. From the first shot to its last, Yorgos Lanthimos' The Killing of a Sacred Deer is here to remind us that the universe will come to collect, and its eyes are forever wide open.
5. 2025 Bingo
My girlfriend does updates much more frequently than I do (mine is like when I remember and that's once a year) and I wanna try that here.
Earlier this year, I started a 2025 Bingo challenge and it's going fine I suppose, but I'm also wondering if there are things I wanna change. Like, I don't wanna stream anymore (and can't, I messed up my computer), I probably will only go to the Game Devs of Color con not two cons, twelve albums is A LOT when you're someone who listens to the same eight albums for eight years straight, and the stop motion is still a huge hope but I want to adjust it (before I wanted to apply for Aardman Stop Motion II but we're more focused on employment right now).
I'm hoping to adjust some of bingo with:
Listen to twelve albums straight through --> Listen to five new albums
Save $10k --> get employment
Better asthma control plan --> Talk to a pulmonologist (can expand on control plan later since there has been an update in medication)
Go to two cons --> Be present at Game Devs of Color
Make a full stop motion short --> Storyboard a two-minute stop motion short
Draw twelve pictures --> Sketch three pictures, color two
Write 10k towards story --> Write 5k towards story (I'm hoping by lowballing I'll surprise myself)
Stream five times --> Finish five video games
I am still going to pet 42 dogs, I will make it happen. Especially since, Dogs are helping people regulate stress even more than expected, research shows:
But one thing is already clear: Dogs aren’t just good company. They might just be one of the most accessible and effective tools for staying healthy in a stressful world.
Image description: 2025 Bingo that has 25 squares that read: graduation, see in person, gangfamily meetup, read five books that change me, listen to twelve albums straight through, write three level game, pet forty two dogs, save $10k, better asthma control plan, go to two cons, keep masking despite, do routine that makes your body feel like home, easy, see wicked part two, make a full stop motion short, draw twelve pictures, write monthly posts to buttondown, write 10k towards story, laugh daily, water your plants, stim daily, organize room, stick to social media routine, listen to/be in nature, stream five times. Graduation, gangfamily meetup, read five books that change me, easy, organize room, and stream five times are crossed out.
6. Progress
Been feeling pretty shitty lately because of unemployment. A friend shared this article about Black women having the highest rate of unemployment in the United States, which of course, is shitty because it feels like everyone's commitment to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion was only good when it helped them and it's shitty not just because that's a fact but because I let myself believe it's afact that wouldn't affect all of me and my communities so quickly. and it helps to know that it's not all in my head.
Words about the words. Juniper Devhad said in one of their videos about keeping a progress page where they write what they've accomplished every day because it helps them remember that they're still doing work towards their goal even though the results aren't tangible yet. I did that at the end of June and have been for most of the month and it does help a lot.
7. a quick update
I made a small game for Only One of Any Asset Game Jam 2025 and it was good for me because instead of throwing the whole thing away, I leaned into what I knew I couldn't fix in a certain amount of time and achieved my goal of turning in something. I'm working on a different game for Trans Representation and Nonbinary Game jams and pretty excited about it (and have a much better idea of scope/what I can handle right now).
Odds & Ends
Back at it again with the odds and ends.
Clean Air Kits is where you can get efficient air purifiers that can run constantly since they don't use as much power as other HEPA purifiers
crip the gig is a resource for finding accessible venue spaces (it's only got UK and US right now, but they're open to suggestions/feedback!). this linktree also has resources for boycotting companies that support the violent colonizers in occupied palestine/helping palestine
Griot Anthology: get seven micro-TTRPGS by black designers for $12!
Jason Reynolds on The Stephen Colbert Show I love how he creates especially for black boys and encourages softness for a community that is often denied it
Kōnae is a guide to help you find and access records created by government agencies or other organisations involved in decisions about your guardianship or care
LGBTQ+ Games to play on GameBoy
This memorial was assembled to honor and grieve the martyrs of the barbaric genocide against the Palestinian people at the hands of the zionist entity. The names and ages you see are the names and ages of people who have been killed. The voices you hear are the voices of people from around the world speaking the names of the dead to acknowledge their humanity and martyrdom.
Mend celebrates the lives and creative work of incarcerated and formerly incarcerated people as well as individuals who have been impacted by the criminal justice system. This annual publication showcases writing of all types, including fiction, poetry, and nonfiction. While prospective authors may submit pieces that describe their experiences with incarceration, the publication welcomes contributions on any topic.
New Sessions is a queer online zine that you access through Telnet or the command line. I actually have no idea what I'm doing with this, but I like these things that make sure I can't go for the completion dopamine hit in one go. I'm trying to remember that things rarely end, especially in the way I think of endings, and it's okay to just do a thing, experience it, and not try to make a whole life or something out of it.
Polynesians steering by the stars met Native Americans long before Europeans arrived: we already knew this but still sharing
Radio geeks reveal how to access crucial hurricane data after US Department of Defense cut it off: I just need qtbipoc friendly resources to learn ham radio PLEASE
Sudan Syllabus: good resource to have
Destroy the systems that seek to destroy you!
CRIP CAMP: A DISABILITY REVOLUTION
It's Disability Pride Month (I think) and this is a great documentary to watch! One of my favorite things about it is how intersectionalism is a big reason anything gets done. We only get free together after all.
a note: I'm raising money to attend a short class in August to help with my resume and to prepare for my senior year of college. If you're able please donate to my ko-fi, or cashapp, or venmo!