ah shit, here we go again
tw: mention but not depiction of abuse
you might be here because you heard i quit autostraddle (which is presumptuous of me to guess, i admit, cause it’s not like i was racking up over there)
i made a thread on the birdsite, as one does:
i quit autostraddle today. i wanted to as soon as i heard what happened to the sub eds but talked myself out of it bc i "always react in anger w/out thinking things through" and i didnt want to do that this time. i wanted to give a chance to correct because transformative justice
is something im trying to be about. but i forgot that if the other side isn't trying to be about transformative justice too, then over here im just gonna get sick, stay hurt, and have nowhere to put that down.
i believe wholeheartedly in the work the autostraddle writers' coalition is doing and will support them any way i can. but im tired of being embarrassed for going back to a place that deeply hurt me, and now having to deal with "i told you so"'s
because i, stupidly, wanted to believe things were better. i am known for giving too many chances, and im working on it, it sucks and tbh having a lot of invalidation around 1) going back and then 2) quitting when i got sick around this shit
is enough for me to call it a wrap. the invalidation/embarrassment isn't at the level of when i went back to people who abused me (because i wanted to believe they were better) but its close and thats enough for me to know to just peace the fuck out.
anyways make sure to support our former subject editors (HiShelli, munrowhite, and vanessapamela), support the autostraddle writers' coalition, and--on the off chance i write again--pls support, and
remember that mama toni told us "racism is a distraction, it keeps you from doing your work" so when you feel like someone will keep hurting you/your community without rectifying that harm, get the heck out and be with people who care about you. and do not look back.
this + recent homophobic/transphobic comments on my work really make me want to stop writing. so, i can’t promise that this will turn into anything. if it does, it'd most likely be updates on special interests (today its gaming and stop motion), black girls/women/trans people in media and life, and most likely me accidentally making a story of some kind of fiction here. but who can never be sure? guess we’ll find out together.
xoxo gossip boi