Bitter Karella's Hot Fresh Slurry 60
Hey this is Bitter Karella, Internet bon vivant, and this is Bitter Karella’s Fresh Hot Slurry with all the news that’s fit to be extruded. Happy holidays, everyone! I know Channukah is over and Christmas isn’t here yet, but WHATEVER — I hope you all have a festive season no matter what you may or may not celebrate, enjoy the cold and the dark of the solstice and come out a new person on the other side. Anyway, now let me ramble about cool stuff that’s happening…
Another episode of Skincrawl, the horror podcast based on the lurid splatterpunk comics of Skinner, is out! Another episode written by me, that is! It’s called “Homecoming,” based on the Skinner comic of the same name, and all about what happens when a sinister carnival rolls into town with a very unusual act. This was a lot of fun to write! The Skincrawl folks wanted something that really fit the over the top EC comics look of Skinner’s work, so this is a podcast that GOES THERE, as the kids say. Check it out!
I also did a video interview with HWA’s Tom Joyce for his Nuts & Bolts column, all about Midnight Pals and all the terrible decisions I’ve made that have somehow worked out pretty okay for me! It’s split up into a series of Tik Toks, cuz you know how the kids love those Tik Toks. You probably remember I posted Episode 1: How Did Midnight Pals start? to the newsletter a couple weeks ago, but now episodes 2 through 5 are available! And episode 2 has a special cameo from my cat Sandy. He’s a little gentleman <3
Episode 2: How do you Build a Readership?
Episode 3: Some Tips for Marketing and Building a Brand Online!
Episode 4: Advice for Writing Humor and Humorous Dialogue
Episode 5: Using Humor to Address Serious Topics
I was also interviewed for a written article too, NUTS & BOLTS: Interview With Bitter Karella, Creator of The Midnight Pals. All you social media gurus take note!
A Special Presentation 220: It's Magic, Charlie Brown!
In this episode, we look at the Peanuts special that's so normal that it's weird. Snoopy learns to do witchcraft and damns Charlie Brown to a living hell of invisibility. This is the only Peanuts special that I can recall in which something supernatural happens, unless you count that one where Linus fell in love with a girl who might have been a ghost. Oh, and I guess maybe the kite-eating tree? It’s kind of unclear if that’s supernatural or what. I mean, it’s got a MOUTH for crying out loud. Also, in this special, Charlie Brown kicks the football??????!??!?! It’s the only ever confirmed football kick in Peanuts canon. Check it out!
Episode 8: The Tale of the Tell-Tale Heart
This is it, folks. The FINAL episode of season 1 of the Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals podcast… but it’s a doozy! Low-budget movie mogul Roger Corman sets out to produce a papier maché blockbuster adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe's classic tale of psychological suspense. Loosely following the plot of the original, Poe is tasked with taking care of a Scottish castle belonging to a certain formerly popular children's author. But uh oh! His wacky pal Stephen King arrives... with his all-amateur band, the Rock Bottom Remainders, in tow! When an electrical blackout results in the Pals smashing a priceless collection of literary awards, it's a race to get the castle presentable again before the gender-critical reptilian returns! Check it out!
In all seriousness, a HUGE THANKS to everyone who made this podcast possible. Midnight Pals has been an absolute joy to write and it means so much that so many people believed in it enough that we were able to put something like this together.
I want to acknowledge the hard work especially of our producer/director Robin Johnson who really went above and beyond to make this a reality. (Robin, of course, also voices HP Lovecraft, Lafcadio Hearn, AND Arthur Conan Doyle.) Robin was also a writer, and it’s a safe bet that any clever script was either his work or Lou Sutcliffe’s. (Any script that was mostly dick jokes was mine!) But even the best scripts are only as good as the people who say the lines and luckily we got the best: A main cast who so embody the peculiar notions of these characters that I can’t think of themhaving any other voices at this point — Rodrigo Borges (Edgar Alan Poe), Jason Robinson (Stephen King), Rebecca D'Souza (Mary Shelley), Wren Montgomery (Dean Koontz), Sister Indica (Clive Barker), and of course the aforementioned Robin — and an absolutely dynamite rotating ensemble crew of talented folks like Sean Babapulle, Brad Barnes, Hannah Brown, Jessica Berson, Joel A.S. Butler, Loretta Chang, Canavan Connolly, David Court, Kate Davoli, Julia Drake, Nicoletta Giuseffi, Dexter Howard, Nomi Ibsen, Karim Kronfli, Anna Lazarev, Lietthys, Beth Lindly, Daisy McNamara, Senni Rivera, Dominic Rye, John Serrano, Thaddeus Strange, Lou Sutcliffe, Liselle Nic Giollabháin, Cassie Vulpine, Marnie Warner, Tenest Tang, and Jon Gutierrez!
Special thanks also to Alex Rancourt for additional music, Daisy McNamara for extra audio help, Minori Kato-Hopkins for sensitivity reading! And a special SPECIAL thanks to all our special guest stars Helen Arney, Mike McShane, and Hailey Piper!
Thank you so much for joining us for this journey and I hope (fingers crossed!) that we also get a chance to bring you a second season too!
Okay, now that THAT’S all out of the way…
Here’s some Midnight Pals!
Charles Dickens: ok guys today i'm gonna tell a spooky ghost story
Edgar Allan Poe: what the
Poe: what is THAT
Dickens: oh this? this is my pet raven Grip
Poe:
King:
Barker:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Dickens: say hello, grip
Grip: halloa old girl
HP Lovecraft: grip? that's a funny name for a bird
Dickens: why? what would you-
Dickens: oh you sly devil
Lovecraft: what?
Dickens: you almost got me there
Poe: whoa whoa whoa
Poe: your raven can talk??
Dickens: that's right
Poe: OH
Poe: MY
Poe: GOD
Dickens: you know the raven in barnaby rudge?
Poe: yeah?
Dickens:
Poe: [in disbelief] NO!!
Poe: that was based on..???
Dickens: yup exactly
Koontz: what's going on edgar?
Poe: this is the most amazing bird that I've ever seen in my life!
Dickens: check this out
Dickens: watch what she does with this piece of cheese
Barker:
Dickens: eh? eh? see what she's doing
[Grip proceeds to bury cheese in ground]
Barker: she's burying it in the ground?
Dickens: yeah
Dickens: ain't that something
Dickens: ok check this out, grip can really talk
Dickens: ok grip what's on top of a house?
Grip: halloa old girl
Dickens: how does sandpaper feel?
Grip: halloa old girl
Dickens: who's the greatest baseball player of all time?
Grip: halloa old girl
Poe: this bird is amazing!
Dickens: oh that's not all
Dickens: i also trained her to attack hans christian andersen on sight
Poe: this is incredible
Grip: halloa old girl
Poe: holy shit she said it again!!
Poe: guys did you hear that??
Barker: yes edgar we all hear it
Grip: halloa old girl
Grip: halloa old girl
Poe: wowwwwww
Barker: its not THAT interesting
Barker: i didn't know you were so into birds edgar
Barker: always figured that for more of a Stephen Gregory thing
Poe: no listen this bird TALKS
Grip: halloa old girl
Poe: i'm going to put this in my next story
Barker: what, a talking bird?
Poe: GOD, it's gonna be SO COOL
Poe: I fucking love ravens!
Barker: oh my god
Barker: turns out that anti-subtext meme comic was right this whole time!
Franz Kafka: oh hi i see you brought a raven?
Dickens: yes
Grip: halloa old girl
Kafka:
Kafka: [blushes]
***
Neil Gaiman: i should like to invite you all to an evening of spleniferous whimsy and unearthly magic
Gaiman: [handing flier to Poe] for I, Neil Gaiman, shall be performing my world renowned Charles Dickens impression
Poe: [reading flyer] "Sunday Sunday don't stay home"
Poe: "Elevated theater at the monsterdome"
Poe: "opening act: charles dickens"
Charles Dickens: neil gaiman's doing a reading of my work in character?
Poe: oh yeah i hear its real good
Dickens: well, i'll be the judge of that!
Dickens: what's he reading? captain murderer?
Poe: i think it's going to be a christmas carol
Dickens:
Dickens: yeah ok i guess you could read that
Poe: guys do you think that neil will include grip in his show
Barker: i don't know, maybe
Poe: i really hope he includes Grip
Poe: i really love grip
Barker: uh huh
Poe: she talks you know
Barker: yes edgar we know we were all here for that
Gaiman: welcome friends to an evening of whimsy, an evening of wonder
Gaiman: as you enter the fantastical imaginarium of charles dickens
Gaiman: where you can be anything!
Gaiman: as long as you can imagine it!
Gaiman: and now watch, gentle viewers
Gaiman: as i create an enduring christmas classic from the merest wisps of fantasy
Gaiman: born of the very stuff of the cosmos -- the power of imagination!
Poe: what do you think?
Dickens: this is exactly right
Dickens: that is exactly how i did it
Gaiman: ah Grip my constant companion, consort to gods and monsters alike, messenger of odin on velvet wings
Poe: [pointing and whispering to charles dickens] that's grip
Dickens: [annoyed] I know
Gaiman: from my pen shall spill the words of the ages! a tapestry of strange delights, the dreams of the sages!
Gaiman: but hark! what noise do i hear at my door?
Gaiman: is it the dark foreboding specter of hans christian andersen?
Dickens: whoa no one told me this show was gonna be scary!!
***
Aleister Crowley: and now as we approach the winter solstice
Crowley: great god apollo, great master brain thinker guy thoth
Crowley: all the little thelematic sprites and boggles
Crowley: now is the time that the great beast says
Crowley: DO AS THOU WILT!!
Crowley: I'M THE GREAT BEAST!!!
Crowley: now that its the winter solstice
Crowley: its time to pay tribute to the spirits of the season
Victor Neuburg: how're we gonna do that boss?
Crowley: we're gonna eat this big block of hashish and fuck
Crowley: love to keep the holiday traditions alive
Crowley: great sun god ra, hear our prayers and
Lauren M Davis: [appearing in a flash] who dares call upon my fiery majesty?
Davis: whom the egyptians named ra, the greeks named apollo, the aztecs named Huitzilopochtli?
Davis: as the duly noted owner of the sun, that is infringing on my intellectual property
Crowley: your...?
Crowley: oh man i am too high for this right now
Lauren M Davis: since the dawn of time, mankind has yearned to destroy the sun
Davis: i do the next best thing
Davis: i own it!
Davis: as surely as disney owns day of the dead
Davis: as surely as family guy owns double dribble
Davis: as surely as snapesnogger owns nagas
Davis: i will copyright the sun!
Davis: Gaze upon the fiery majesty of the sun ©!!!
Davis: NO on second thought, don't!
Davis: no one look at me!
Davis: you! plants!
Davis: you dare to photosynesize with my holy rays??
Davis: I hope you got a good lawyer
Crowley: you can't own the sun
Crowley: the sun is
Crowley:
Crowley: its
Crowley: its you know
Crowley: it's
Victor Neuburg: its a star isn't it?
Crowley: SHUT UP NERDBURG I KNOW WHAT THE SUN IS
Crowley: I WAS JUST
Crowley: I WAS JUST PAUSING FOR EFFECT OR SOMETHING
Crowley: I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU AT ALL, JUST SHUT UP!