Bitter Karella's Hot Fresh Slurry 56
Hey this is Bitter Karella, Internet bon vivant, and this is Bitter Karella’s Fresh Hot Slurry with all the news that’s fit to be extruded. It’s been a slow week for Thanksgiving, but I hope that everyone who celebrated was able to enjoy the holiday in the way that brings them the most joy. I was lucky enough to spend the week with family and friends and really enjoy the company of people that I love. So I can’t complain (which is unusual for me).
A Special Presentation 217: Tubby the Tuba
It's after Thanksgiving, and that means it's time for everyone's favorite Thanksgiving special -- Tubby the Tuba! You know Tubby the Tuba, right? You will soon! Join us for this look at everyone's favorite opera for tiny tots about a tuba who joins the circus and also goes to adopt an orphan melody and there's a frog. This all seemed like a really good idea in the early 70s! The important thing to remember is that Pixar was NOT involved.
Episode 5: The Tale of the Strangers on a Train
Patricia Highsmith, crime writer, snail friend, and lovable weirdo known for her shabby trenchcoat, eccentric habits, and possibly imaginary wife, investigates a bizarre double murder. Two people who don't know each other, or if you will, "strangers", meet on a rail vehicle, or as it were, "train", and plan the perfect crime. What really happened with Mary Shelley and her polycule at Lake Geneva last summer?
Here’s this week’s Midnight Pals!
Harlan Ellison: so how does a guy get paid around here
Edgar Allan Poe: this isn't that kind of event, harlan
Poe: we just gather here to tell stories for fun
Ellison: well, the rest of you might be assholes but that doesn't mean i am
Ellison: not saying a fucking word here til i get my money
Harlan Ellison: what is this? some online jokester making jokes with my likeness?
Ellison: oh you better hope they're paying me for this
Poe: lighten up harlan it's just for fun
Ellison: lightening up costs extra
Harlan Ellison: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the evil computer that can torture you forever
Elon Musk: mama mia!
Musk: concerning!
Ellison: who's this guy?
Barker: oh that's just steve's friend elon musk
King: he's not my friend
Barker: he shows up sometimes
King: he's not my friend
Elon Musk: eyyy Friendship ended with stephano king
Musk: Now HP Lovecraft issa my best friend
Lovecraft: what
Musk: eyyyy hp lovacraft we lika two peasa inna pod
Musk: you no lika de jews, i no lika de jews!
Musk: you namma you cat a slur, i namma my kid a slur!
Lovecraft: which kid?
Musk: De Protocols offa de Elders of Xion Musk
Ellison: so there's this evil computer that can do anything
Ellison: like, it can make you live forever just to fuck with you
King: how does it make you live forever?
Ellison: shut up steve, i'm talking
Ellison: like, this computer is so evil and it can make shit like
Ellison: like ice caves and shit
Ellison: and it can turn you into a jelly
King: how does it do any of this
Ellison: shut the fuck up steve
Ellison: asking stupid questions costs extra
Musk: mama mia this-a evil computer will destroy ussa all!
Harlan Ellison: oh you like this concept?
Ellison: think its real scary huh?
Ellison: motherfucker, pay me.
Musk: eyyy dissa evil super computer willa destroy ussa all
Musk: therefore i musta help build it
Musk: itta de only logical thing to do!
King: so apparently elon musk built an evil super computer so powerful that it can say all the slurs at once
Arthur C Clarke: my god, steve!!
Clarke: doesn't he know
Clarke: that's the purpose of creation!
Clarke: once every slur is said, God will bring the Universe to an end!
Clarke: once every slur is said, God will bring the Universe to an end!
Carter Scholz: i was going to say that too
Clarke: oh yeah wow real original
Scholz: like, you know, as a commentary on your story
Clarke: yeah i know what you're doing
Clarke: eat my ass carter
Linda Yaccarino: [sweating, rictus grin] everyone loves twitter, the fun place for fun!
Elon Musk: eeeyyy here-a soma my favorite slurs
Musk: saracen, tinker, spaghett face, niknokker, bibblebeep
Yaccarino: [sweating, rictus grin] yeah ha ha we sure love to have fun here on twitter!
Musk: eyyyy i hate de jews
Musk: but i lova de israel
Jonathan Greenblatt: masterful gambit, sir