Yesterday I got up and inexplicably had energy. I drank my coffee. I did my yoga. Then I went downstairs to get breakfast.

In typical spicy-brain fashion, this turned into projectS.

You see, I grabbed the bowl of leftover kichadi to make breakfast. While I was grabbing that, I saw the chicken carcass in the Costco rotisserie chicken bag, all ready for the instant pot. 

So then I grabbed some carrots, celery, an onion, the bay leaves, salt, pepper, some garlic. I got the broth started and grabbed the kichadi from the microwave.

While I was nibbling on that, I started loading the dishwasher. Thankfully one of the kids had recently unloaded it. Thanks, kids!

But then I noticed the drool puddle from the dog who watched me making the broth, so the floor needed cleaning. 

Aaannd now the kichadi is cold. Got that reheated and went upstairs to my reading pile. I skimmed some books, scrolled some doom, and heard the Instant Pot timer go off. 

The broth strained and in jars, the instant pot clean, and I'm remembering I wanted puttanesca sauce for pasta and now that's started. 

I went back upstairs to do some writing and while running my hands through my hair I realized it feels GROSS. Time for a shower.

Time for checking the sauce. 

Time for making dinner

Time for playing games on the couch, everyone on their own device. It's a cozy way of not talking to each other, which is the happiest way of being for a house of autistics.

In amongst it all, my brain was thinking about everything. About spring and the plants that are growing and will grow. About prepping the kids for adulthood. About the laundry I didn't start. About air travel and how I'm not doing it ever again as far as I can tell. About the way shame used to keep politicians in check and how Cheney ruined that, and about Larry Craig, and about where we are that our politicians use every fear of ours for fundraising instead of making laws to protect us from the things we worry about. About my bank balance and it's enough but is it really? and what if someone gets sick and oh yeah Elijah's laptop broke and he needs a new one. About my dad and how I wish he was still here so I could ask him what to do about everything. About how could I possibly go back to tech and work for someone who cares if the number in this 90 day period is bigger than the last 90 day period and what if we used intelligence to help people survive this planet instead of draining every last dime from them?

I lie down in bed, thankful for warm blankets and cute dogs and a sweet husband. And I think about the Hobbesian way people see other people, especially how people with some sort of power see other people, and I wish there was a way to tell them that people are good actually. And how grateful I am to have time to do all of this. And I wish that I could always have this time to just live. I wish we could just be humans.