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November 13, 2020

What if Aubrey O'Day had a true-crime gig?

the true crime that's worth your time

Twitter avatar for @AubreyODay
Aubrey O'Day @AubreyODay
conspire against? wait.. isnt that the same thing you did to me when you discussed having a thumb drive of naked pictures and information about me that could be released in order to silence & discredit me if need be?
Twitter avatar for @DonaldJTrumpJr
Donald Trump Jr. @DonaldJTrumpJr
Apparently Bloomberg was sleeping through the last four years where the highest levels of government conspired against the duly elected President of the United States. https://t.co/EHNC9gCFl6
9:04 PM ∙ Nov 12, 2020
493Likes65Retweets

Aubrey O’Day needs a true-crime franchise. I am NOT a crackpot.

…Okay, I am, but hear me out. Aubrey came to fame as the first girl picked for girl group Danity Kane on Making The Band 3, a show I still miss. After getting fired from the group — Diddy’s rationale was so muddled that the rumors that they’d had A Thing, and that the firing was actually a dumping, started immediately; I suspect it was something more like “she wasn’t about the boss’s bullshit and got canned,” but anyway — Aubrey had a couple cutesy E! reality shows of her own; went on Celebrity Apprentice and guest-judged on RPDR; and had an affair with Donald Trump Jr.

That last thing is extra not great, but she’s making up for it by blowing up every one of his spots she can…

Twitter avatar for @AubreyODay
Aubrey O'Day @AubreyODay
I definitely give great head.. but he absolutely loved me and was trying to have a baby with me (again, I have receipts), so I’m pretty sure the delusional one here is you. 🥴
Twitter avatar for @sawyermontoy
Sawyer T Montoya @sawyermontoy
@AubreyODay Aubrey... you're delusional. Did he ever bring you around his friends or was he just calling you at 2am? Plenty of guys would bang a stripper, but no one is going to marry one or fall "in love" with one. Maybe you just give great head?
3:18 AM ∙ Nov 9, 2020
420Likes12Retweets

…and just today she scolded Ted Cruz for not taking care of business in Texas, so at the very least she’s worth a follow on Twitter, but I for one am not satisfied with this and feel that she should create and star in a property in which she investigates crimes while talking shit. It’s not that Aubrey needs our help; it’s that we need hers, because the current blonde sitting on a throne of true-crime-brand fat stacks, Nancy Grace, is a badge-humping nightmare, and furthermore would probably never bring a Pomeranian to set with her.

We deserve better. Get Aubrey a research team, a premium-cable time slot or a sweet iHeart deal, and a show name better than O’Day In Court, and let’s do this. I am NOT a crackpot.

(Am I? Do you think she should do a murder-ballads album instead? Become a Dateline correspondent? Fantasy-cast Aubrey anywhere in the genre; I’m here for it.)

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