Hollywood is Hollywood
A roundup of recent tinseltown-related true crime
the true crime that's worth your time
The full quote, attributed to Orson Welles, goes like this: “Hollywood is Hollywood. There’s nothing you can say about it that isn’t true, good or bad. And if you get into it, you have no right to be bitter — you’re the one who sat down, and joined the game.”
A big part of the game, it seems, is crime. Moving past the fictional narratives we’ve all gobbled down (or just kept on while doing chores — oh, hi, Ashley Judd! What are you up to this time?), there’s a rich vein of courtroom shenanigans, scandalous allegations, and worrisome arrests in the denizens of that industry.
In the past month, those headlines have been particularly thick on the ground. Join me, will you, as we take a spin through some recent true crimes with ties to the entertainment business. Your thoughts on how they could be transformed into true crime properties are always welcome, you know what to do. — EB
Vince McMahon reimbursed WWE $17.4M for cost of hush money probe [Westchester Business Journal]
While the multiple convictions of Harvey Weinstein suggest that no entertainment kingpin is untouchable, Vince McMahon — whose wrestling company has a robust and active TV and movies arm — has so far evaded Weinstein’s level of scrutiny. Though there’s been day-to-day reporting on the multiple allegations against McMahon of sexual misconduct and assault, after a brief “retirement” following some of those headlines in July, he’s back at the company, seemingly sans consequence.
If I sound pissed off, it’s because I am. Let’s face it, you don’t pay folks off to the tune of $17.4 million if the claims are without merit, especially if you’re as allegedly unrepentant a person as his public persona suggests.
The challenge here — and the likely reason why reporting on this is so slender — are those payoffs; the folks who brought accusations against McMahon received payments pro forma, which implies that a coverup pattern is business as usual at the WWE. That also makes it harder to launch a Surviving R. Kelly-style property, as the victims likely signed docs that prevent their speech.
That said, an outlet like HBO has enough muscle to defend its reporting and dig up victims less shackled by NDAs. So that’s my Unmasking McMahon pitch: Erin Lee Carr for HBO, four-part series on the claims against the WWE head, then let’s watch the sparks fly. — EB
Gwyneth Paltrow ski crash suit: Man says he was sent 'absolutely flying' down the slope [NBC]
Look, I’m sad and sorry for anyone who was injured in the 2016 ski slope collision that led to this civil trial, but the trial itself is the kind of low-impact fun that I need these days. Paltrow’s daily looks while in court deserve a Substack of their own, and the random moments in the courtroom fill me with joy.
That Paltrow is devoting so much time and attention to what seems like an easily settled claim astounds me. The alleged victim, after all, is asking for about $300K, likely less than what she’s spending in attorney’s fees; while I’m not here to make assumptions about anyone’s financial situation, I’d guess that the GOOP founder/MCU member has that kind of cash on hand. So there’s apparently a strategy here, but what?
It’s tempting to push for an over-the-top dramatic adaptation in which Paltrow’s reasons for pushing for trial are explained, but that fruit seems like it’s hanging too low. Instead, I think, I’d like a recap podcast that distills every day of courtroom drama into 30 minutes. A treadmill-able dose of what Buzzfeed reporter Izzy Ampil called “blissfully ridiculous.”
…it’s a perfect storm for pop culture lovers. It’s so rare to be able to claim the moral high ground so easily, to point and laugh at a rich person on trial for doing rich person things. There is no reflexive self-interrogation, no, “Am I a bad person for laughing at this?” If anything, Paltrow’s aura of utter untouchability has swung back around into a good thing.
Alec Baldwin Tallies Another Win in Defense as ‘Rust’ Special Prosecutor Steps Down [The Hollywood Reporter]
The charges against Baldwin and Hannah Gutierrez-Reed continue to weaken with Andrea Reeb leaving the case. As the criminal case against the actor and armorer continues, it feels less crucial and more sour, like some decision-makers on the case felt obligated to make a spectacle of the Hollywood folks who fucked up, critically, causing a woman’s death.
But I’m starting to wonder if the straightforward, workaday reporting on the case is enough. We need a Michael Lewis (Moneyball, The Big Short) or similar heavy-hitter to tackle the entire Rust case for a longform text series or book, as these dribs and drabs aren’t enough.
There are so many participants willing to talk, and so many experts available to help explain a lot of the intricacies on on-set weapon handling, that a story or series of stories explaining exactly what happened, how and why it’s being prosecuted, and looking into the under-the-table arrangements as well (example: how Halyna Hutchins’ widower was settled with). Add to that the political grandstanding of local officials, and you have one hell of a yarn. — EB
Jonathan Majors arraigned on several assault and harassment charges [CNN]
It’s too early to know what went on between Creed III and Marvel star Majors and an as-yet unnamed woman last weekend; the latest is that the Manhattan DA’s office — that’s right, this is a criminal, not a civil, case — says he struck “her about the face with an open hand, causing substantial pain and a laceration behind her ear” and “put his hand on her neck, causing bruising and substantial pain.”
Majors’ attorney, Priya Chaudhry, says on her website that she specializes in jury trials and defense in “FINRA and SEC actions, as well as alleged Title IX violations.” Most recently, she defended Paul Haggis in his rape case, and one overseas publication characterizes her as “defending America’s most high-profile celebrities.”
Since Majors’ arrest, several folks who have worked with him in the past have spoken out against him, with one saying, “He’s a sociopath and abuser and that is how virtually everyone speaks about him.” Meanwhile, USA Today Celebrity Culture Reporter Hannah Yasharoff writes that “Jonathan Majors' arrest is a developing story. People are jumping to conclusions anyway.”
As opposed to making that leap, and/or investing in a project that could just be lost in the countless other domestic violence claims made against famous men, what about a behind-the-scenes look at how last weekend went for the Disney/Marvel comms team? As the company’s whole next “phase” of content hinges around Majors’ portrayal of Kang, you just know these folks have been at work every day since his arrest, hustling overtime to tamp down coverage and figure out a way forward if the case against Majors snowballs.
Obviously, this is a story that relies on anonymous sources and obscured identity, so it’s easier said than done. But imagine a time-compressed The War Room, but Marvel lawyers and execs and PR folks, all of whom have likely spent the last few years being grateful that Ezra Miller worked for the other guys. You know that a doc watching them on the hot seat would be the ticket of the century, and would likely be way scarier than Kang. — EB
SEC Charges Lindsay Lohan, Jake Paul, Soulja Boy, Akon In Crypto Promotion Scheme [Forbes]
Shit, why did I use Michael Lewis on the Rust pitch? He would have been perfect to break down the intersection of celebrity and crypto that we’ll be grappling with for the next few years.
Influencers who promote products without disclosure are so common that the FTC basically leaves them alone, but the SEC takes a less lenient view when famous folks boost crypto without acknowledging that it’s a hashtag ad. From the SEC’s press release:
The SEC simultaneously charged the following eight celebrities for illegally touting TRX and/or BTT without disclosing that they were compensated for doing so and the amount of their compensation.
• Lindsay Lohan
• Jake Paul
• DeAndre Cortez Way (Soulja Boy)
• Austin Mahone
• Michele Mason (Kendra Lust)
• Miles Parks McCollum (Lil Yachty)
• Shaffer Smith (Ne-Yo)
• Aliaune Thiam (Akon)
It seems like there are a lot of ways to go with this property, but I’m not sure what medium and approach would best serve the dual needs of explaining crypto, currency regulation, and SEC rules to the masses while honoring this list of Whos (TM Who Weekly) the way they need to be honored. So I turn it over to you: If a true crime genie emerged from the nearest lamp and promised to adapt this any way you’d like, what would you ask for? — EB
Thursday on Best Evidence: It’s the March budget sweep and holy shit, it’s huge. I’ve already warned my husband that I will be requesting treats and coffee to fuel me through it!
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