Dark Tide: Growing Up with Ted Bundy is a thoughtful act of catharsis
the true crime that's worth your time
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"Does the world need another book about Ted Bundy?" you might be wondering, and even the author of Dark Tide: Growing Up with Ted Bundy agrees. The serial killer has been so memorably portrayed by heartthrobs including Mark Harmon and Zac Efron that we all agree, as a nation, that Bundy was slick, charming and hot. In this slim memoir, author Edna Cowell Martin rejects that established trope, and she should know: Bundy was her cousin, an association that has cast a shadow over her entire adult life.
Unlike many in his orbit, Martin has never dined out on her relationship with the infamous mass murderer. One of two kids raised in a progressive, interesting family (her dad, John R. Cowell, was a concert musician, her mom is portrayed as an affectionate and supportive parent), Martin describes her younger years in a series of vignettes that deftly illustrate the gap in experience that might have existed between her upbringing and Bundy's. While Edna was playing with royalty as her pop toured Europe, Bundy was being raised by Louise, a struggling single mother who moved in with the Cowells in an effort at a fresh start. (John Cowell was Louise's uncle, but the two were separated by just a few years, likely why Edna consistently refers to Ted Bundy as her cousin.)
As Martin tells it, long pandemic-era walks with her daughter (remember those?) led her to unearth her long-buried feelings about Bundy, from worries that she helped usher in one of his earliest crimes to obsession over signs or hints she had somehow missed. After a few such discussions, she decided she wanted to get everything she'd held in onto paper, including reminiscences, copies of family photos, and — perhaps most chillingly — transcriptions of handwritten letters she and Bundy exchanged while he was in prison.
I believe that origin story, as this book never tries to capitalize on her ties to one of the most infamous men in recent U.S. history. The book, which was written with help from writer Megan Atkinson, truly feels composed by a person who has realized that the only way out is through, and that sometimes the poison is the cure. From the book:
It goes without saying that there’s been a staggering amount of material put into the world about Ted. With this book, I’ve added a little more. I don’t quite know how I feel about that.
Until very recently, I’ve avoided all of it—at least all I possibly could. It’s shocking how much he’s become a part of the vernacular, a throwaway pop-culture reference or an answer on a Sunday crossword. Each mention of his name feels like an electric jolt straight to my nervous system. A shock of pain. So I’ve built a protective wall and made it thicker over the years, a conscious choice to remain naive.
It wasn’t until I began thinking about telling my story that, in the name of research, I knew I needed to peek over and finally see what’s on the other side.
I wonder if the writers of the books and the makers of the movies think of people like me, we family members, sitting down to crack open the dust jackets or navigate the television screen to whatever sensational title they’ve chosen.
It's painful and sad to see how her decades-long relationship with Bundy weaseled its way into so much of her life, but Martin never presents herself as a victim. She makes it abundantly clear that even after she realized that Bundy was guilty that she had a rich and happy life, personally and professionally, with a loving and communicative spouse, a blossoming daughter, and jobs that she enjoyed. That said, she also makes it clear that there was always this murky corner in her life where her fun cousin Ted used to be, an edge that made her less open, less willing to engage with people, and less confident.
You also realize how far the ripples of trauma left by a bad actor like Bundy go. The author's daughter was born after Bundy had first been arrested; she has never met the man but has always lived with his legacy.
Martin's relationships also suffered. While in a certain sense, the horror of being Bundy-adjacent seemed to bring the Martin family closer together, the same couldn't be said of the Cowells. In one particularly touching passage, Martin mentions that her parents were so sure Bundy was innocent that she had to elaborately avoid the topic, it became such a source of tension. (Certainly relatable, I'll bet, if we replace Bundy's name with a number of other recently convicted folks.)
After all, she explains, if neither they nor she failed realize that this monster was in their lives, thair homes— and in one chilling section, Martin's car — what else is she missing? She's open about how much the case has haunted her, but it doesn't feel like whining or self-centering, it feels like someone ripping a bandage off and admitting that it hurts. From the book:
Were there signs?
It’s a losing question. The answer I greatly prefer is yes, but I didn’t see them at the time. The signs were there, but I foolishly missed them all. I was blind. Stupid. Naive.
This is the answer I like.
Because the other answer is, I suspect, the one people are begging me to refute when they ask me the question. It’s the possibility no one wants, including myself.
No. There were no signs. Nothing out of the ordinary.
If that’s true, it means Ted could be anyone. Even those we’d never suspect. That means it’s possible to have everyone fooled.
No one wants that.
Dark Tide's unconventional narrative, simple and unadorned prose, and reflective tone mean it's not the book for someone seeking the blood and guts that comes with a standard serial killer-centric piece of nonfiction. But it does make it a bracing change of pace for people who — even now — wonder if there's more to know or understand about the Bundy case.
Even if you're not particularly Bundy obsessed (which includes me — I'm just not into serial killers like that), this book provides a graceful object lesson in healing from an unthinkable family tragedy, especially one where — however unfairly — the world might believe you are somehow to blame. I hope writing this book brought Martin some of the peace she's seeking. I know that other folks who are hurting and read her words will definitely be soothed.
Dark Tide: Growing Up with Ted Bundy will be released on July 23, preorders are available now.