April 11, 2025

The Perils of Being Understood

After a year of growth, I reflect on how wanting to be understood hinders true connection.

It’s been almost a year since I last shared anything here. I used to post weekly about mental health—especially my journey with OCD. But the past 11 months have been full of growth that didn’t feel quite ready for words.

This week, something finally came together.

In this post, I share the painful realization that my drive to be understood can get in the way of others understanding. It’s a lesson that’s shown up in therapy, in coaching, and especially at work.

Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling frustrated that you “explained it so clearly” but still didn’t connect? I’d love to hear how you solved it.

-Ben

The Perils of Being Understood | Ben Norris

My heart dropped as her words sank in. “It sounds like you were more focused on being understood than on the other person understanding.” That is exactly what happened. A tingling shot through my arms to the palms and guilt lanced my chest. My self-centeredness weighed heavy on my shoulders.