I’m not dead! Alright, I’ve stalled long enough; let’s talk about Queen. I’d say Queen was my first love when it comes to classic rock. Now that obviously means I cycled through their discography far too quickly; I was pretty sick of them by the end of my year-long hyper-fixation. This of course doesn’t say anything about the quality of the music itself. They were without a doubt some of the best to ever do it, and I’ll always have a soft spot for them. But unfortunately, I just don’t find myself coming back to them all that much these days. On the other hand, writing about these artists usually launches me into a new wave of obsession, so you never know.

Part 1: “Queen” (1973)

I like to start where it all began. So naturally, I’ll review their debut first.

God, that is a hideous album cover.

Oh seventies Queen, you will always have my heart. As for the seventies versus eighties Queen discussion, you should all know where I stand. While this debut didn’t spawn any major hits, it’s still got that undeniably Queen sound that’s so hard to replicate without sounding like a complete knock off. Although, I do think their early records lean more towards Marc Bolan, David Bowie-style glam rock than their later records do. But if you ask me, I’d say that’s hardly a bad thing.

They begin with their first single, and the biggest hit, “Keep Yourself Alive.” I think this was a good choice; it showcases the group’s strengths right off the bat. Freddie Mercury’s powerful voice, Brian May’s unique tone (courtesy of a sixpence coin rather than a traditional pick), etc. It’s got a fantastic riff; Queen definitely started out with a rockier feel than they ended with. The songwriting is already quite strong; I’m honestly not too sure why this wasn’t a bigger hit. Roger Taylor gives a brilliant drum solo here, another early stages feature I would’ve appreciated them carrying into the eighties. John Deacon’s bass work isn’t really anything to ogle over just yet. I think he shines brightest in the latter half of their discography, despite my preference for this era.

Track 2, “Doing Alright” is the eldest of these songs. It’s so old, it was co-written by guitarist Tim Staffell while he, Roger, and Brian, were playing gigs as Smile in the late sixties. Those who have read up on the Queen lore know that Tim would eventually leave Smile to join Humpy Bong with former Bee Gees drummer Colin Petersen. Why haven’t you heard anything from Humpy Bong? Probably because they have 2 songs and never went anywhere. Why didn’t they go anywhere? I’m gonna take a wild and crazy guess and say it’s because they called themselves Humpy Bong.

Terrible band names aside, “Doing Alright” isn’t really anything special. It’s pretty lowkey and quiet up until its hard rock outro which feels abrupt and out of place. It’s like a completely different song. A song I’d like if it’d been its own track, but not one I appreciate here.

Okay I know I was just giving Humpy Bong a lot of crap for the bad name, but track 3, “Great King Rat”, is one of my favorites. It’s kinda heavy, very reminiscent of early Black Sabbath, both for its heavy guitars and its story book lyrics. Said lyrics are definitely a tad ridiculous, but I think it’s got one of the strongest choruses of the album. And man, I’m not done talking about that guitar, quite possibly his best work on this record.

“My Fairy King” is the first we see of Roger’s insane falsetto; what an intro. Google tells me that’s an A5. Absolutely insane. I wish I had more to say about this song. It’s good, but Roger really steals the show. I will say this might be my favorite of these bass lines; they must have turned him up here.

“Liar” is the second and final single of this record, and in close competition with “Keep Yourself Alive” for my favorite. It’s definitely my favorite riff here; it reminds me a little of the “Fat Bottomed Girls” riff. It’s the longest by far, coming in at just under 6 and a half minutes. I’ve definitely seen longer, and I think it does a decent job of filling the time, but its length is what keeps it from that #1 spot. Great harmonies here though, very Queen.

I hate to say it, but the rest of side 2 really doesn’t hold up as well as side 1 does. Track 7, “Modern Times Rock ‘n’ Roll” features Roger on lead vocals which is interesting. I really do love his voice; the contrast between his regular and falsetto voices is always gonna be a little funny. But the song doesn’t stand out; it’s a painfully generic hard rock tune and not much else.

They close with about a minute of “Seven Seas of Rhye”, which is featured on their follow up album, “Queen II”, as well. That second rendition is expanded, the version you hear on this record is short and purely instrumental. It remains an excellent piano riff though; the expanded rendition is one of my favorite Queen tunes.

And that’s all for Queen’s debut. It was a good start; you can definitely tell there was something to this group. But is it anything to write home about? Ehhh, I don’t know. It’s kind of an uneven mix of strong moments and filler, heavy on the latter. I know I gave side one a lot of praise, and I do really like those songs, but side 2 is majorly disappointing. Other complaints: the lyrics walk that mystical-pretentious line a little too closely and the mixing is pretty rough. But, this isn’t to say I didn’t mean what I said earlier. Side 1 is incredibly strong if you ask me, and I think those songs deserve ten times the recognition they get.

I wouldn’t recommend this record to everyone, but if you’re less impressed by drum machine-era Queen and more into that glam rock sound, I think you should give it a chance. But I won’t deny they’ve got better stuff out there, so let’s talk about that.

Highlights:

1. Keep Yourself Alive

2. Liar

3. Great King Rat

Final Score: 6/10 (Decent)

Part 2: “A Night At the Opera” (1975)

This record is so pompous and grand and utterly ridiculous, you just can’t help but love it. It’s by far their best work if you ask me; let’s talk about Queen’s 1975 smash hit, their fourth studio album, “A Night At the Opera.”

We begin with “Death On Two Legs (Dedicated To …)”, a scathing diss track. While its title very explicitly does not tell you who this song is “dedicated to …”, we know now that it was meant for their former manager Norman Sheffield. This was made clear to the public when said former manager sued the band for defamation. Sorry Norman, I don’t think it counts as defamation if it takes a lawsuit to inform the audience the song was about you in the first place. (the case was later settled out of court) As for the song, boy were these guys angry. Would I have opened with this song myself? Maybe not, but it wasn’t the worst choice. Its chorus isn’t especially strong, but the energy is great and it showcases the band’s talents reasonably well, which is important.

I don’t have much to say regarding track 2, “Lazing On a Sunday Afternoon.” It’s just a brief interlude, and you’re not meant to take it too seriously, but I guess it’s pleasant enough.

Speaking of songs you aren’t supposed to take too seriously … do we really have to talk about track 3? We do? Okay …

Well, the title speaks for itself.

Track 3, “I’m In Love With My Car”, is sure a song. I’d bash the rest of Queen for letting Roger Taylor sneak the song onto this record, but if you’re to the point of locking yourself in the kitchen cabinets for hours on end trying to convince your band to play your song, that’s just a new level of desperation I have to commend you for. So good on you Roger Taylor. This song is without a doubt absurd, but good on you.

Track 4, “You’re My Best Friend”, a John Deacon contribution, is a fan favorite. Not only did John write this song, but he actually makes his first appearance on the electric piano. I think it sounds quite lovely. Not much to add here; it’s a cute little song.

“‘39” is a personal favorite of mine, and I’ve never understood why it wasn’t a bigger hit at the time. It’s the first of two songs here to feature Brian May on lead vocals; I absolutely adore his voice. Queen is full of fabulous singers; Brian May would’ve made an adequate frontman in another life and Roger Taylor would’ve received ungodly amounts of praise from rock critics had he joined another band. Wasted potential aside, “‘39” is a perfect song. Everything from its deep introspective lyrics, to its angelic backing vocals, it’s use of the double bass-

Wait a minute … John Deacon never played the double bass.

Oh that’s right, Brian had made the mistake of joking about John needing to learn the double bass for his song, leading him to indeed learn it in just under a week before it was revealed to him that he had only been joking. Funny stuff. They include a nice live recording of this song with Freddie singing lead with the deluxe edition of “A Night At the Opera.” Obviously he kills it too, and I assume it would’ve sounded just as good in the studio.

Track 6, “Sweet Lady” is the least popular and probably the weakest of these tracks. I’m done pretending I like this song; it’s really not worth defending. “You call me sweet like I’m some kind of cheese.” Wrap it up, buddy.

“Seaside Rendezvous” is nearly twice the length of “Lazing On a Sunday Afternoon” but you might as well call it an interlude too. It’s cute; that’s about it.

Track 8, “The Prophet’s Song” on the other hand, is easily the most overlooked. It places second to last in streaming numbers for seemingly … no reason? I love this song; I have no idea why it’s this low. Sure, it’s long as hell, maybe 8 minutes and change wasn’t entirely necessary, but that chorus is killer. Give it a listen if you haven’t already.

“Love of My Life” is another classic. You know it’s gonna be a banger when they’ve got Brian on the harp. But really, it’s a beautiful song, and I definitely don’t need to be telling you that. Even its Wikipedia page is dedicated to how hard it went live.

God, I’m really off my Queen game, I had completely forgotten about track 10, “Good Company.” I seriously have no memory of this song existing. It’s the second of Brian’s songs, and takes last place in streaming numbers. I think it’s nice, I like it a lot better than “Sweet Lady.” The ukulele was sure a creative choice.

Alright, the one you’ve all been waiting for. It’s their magnum opus, track 11, “Bohemian Rhapsody.” See, Button-Down even filled that in for me; all I had to type was “Bohemian.” This is serious business. Where do I even begin with this song? I mean, it’s obviously perfect. I really do think it’s the best song ever written. My favorite? No, but the best. Like how does one even conjure this kind of stuff in their mind? You cannot make this up. You’ve all heard it; I needn’t go on. It’s great. But if you want a little fun fact, this song was actually written on the piano Paul McCartney used in “Hey Jude”, and the piano Rick Wakeman used to record all of David Bowie’s “Hunky Dory.” What a legacy; that piano must have an insane ego.

“Bohemian Rhapsody” effectively closes the album, but they’ve technically included a brief electric guitar instrumental rendition of “God Save the Queen.” I think it’s a nice way to finish the record, no complaints.

I’m sure you’ve heard this album or at the very least its hits many times before, but it can’t hurt to give it another listen. It’s a very easy listen; I’ll tell you that much. The original is about 43 minutes long but it doesn’t feel 43 minutes long. Banger after banger, it’s very hard to top Queen at their peak.

Highlights:

1. Bohemian Rhapsody

2. ‘39

3. The Prophet’s Song

Final Score: 9.5/10 (Amazing)

Part 3: “The Works” (1984)

Okay, it’s 1984 and Queen is back with their eleventh studio album “The Works.” They’re sort of returning to their roots with this record after their tenth studio album “Hot Space”, which was basically just John Deacon’s disco passion project that he managed to drag the others into. On the bright side, it gave us “Under Pressure.” On the not so bight side, that’s about all it gave us.

Okay, so we’ve left the disco crap behind, we’re back to rock n’ roll, sort of. I say sort of because now that we’ve entered the 80s, it’s not exactly the same type of rock n’ roll. For me personally, it’s the type of rock n’ roll I don’t like as much, but that’s just me. And I’m not implying this isn’t a quality record, because it is. So let’s get into it.

They open with cult classic “Radio Ga Ga.” You can tell immediately that they’re going for more of an arena rock vibe than anything. And that’s fine; they do it well. The synths are fun, and the bass is louder than it ever has been. Seriously, this song has one of my favorite Queen bass lines. You write an “Another One Bites the Dust”, and suddenly your bandmates start turning you up. I won’t lie, these lyrics feel a little suspect, but I wouldn’t say Queen has ever been known for their lyrical genius, so I guess that’s nothing new.

Track 2, “Tear It Up”, opens with a sick guitar solo from Brian; that’s probably its most attractive feature. The rest of the song is fine; its chorus is a little dull. It’s clearly trying to call back to that 70s hard rock style, although it doesn’t quite hit the same. I do appreciate the heaviness, though.

Track 3, “It’s a Hard Life” is a John contribution. He wrote a lot of these ballad-type songs. Not really my thing, but he’s good at it. Stronger chorus this time. I wish I had more to say about this one, because it was a pretty big hit, but I just don’t. I don’t find myself listening to this one too much outside of putting the entire record on.

I won’t sugar coat it; “Man on the Prowl”, and “Machines (or ‘Back to Humans’)” aren’t favorites of mine either. “Man on the Prowl” bores me, and I find “Machines (or ‘Back to Humans’)” just so incredibly strange. I really like that riff, but the use of the robot voice totally takes me out of the song. I can’t think of a single instance in which a robot voice has sounded tasteful. If you can, let me know, but this song does nothing for me.

Luckily, we’re back to the good stuff with track 6, another John Deacon original, “I Want to Break Free.” It’s catchy, it’s iconic, it’s a little confusing. Does he want to break free, or is he in love, or can he not get used to living with, or does he have to make it on his own? I feel like we gloss over how these lyrics don’t make a goddamn bit of sense too often. But I’ll excuse it, because everything else about this song makes me love it. And you know it’s gotta be good when it’s banned from MTV.

I won’t even comment on track 7. It goes in one ear and out the other; there’s absolutely nothing special about this song.

Track 8, “Hammer to Fall”, is by far my favorite. This was my top song 2 years ago, which I definitely wasn’t expecting, but I wasn’t mad at either. “Hammer to Fall” brings the hard rock feel back. Kind of like “Tear It Up” was attempting to do, but I think this is far more effective. Awesome riff, some solid lyrics for once, great solo, stunning vocals as usual, real drums which I’ll always prefer to a drum machine, this song has it right. I’ll leave it at that; you get the point. It baffles me that “It’s a Hard Life” was a bigger hit than “Hammer to Fall.” I’m not trying to yuck anyone’s yum, but this is 100% the better song.

And then they decided to end with “Is This the World We Created …?” Why? “Hammer to Fall” would’ve made a great closing track, “Is This the World We Created …?” is forgettable. It's guess the message is good, but it feels a little preachy and out of place. Save it for the concept album, guys.

And that’s it for “The Works.” A record composed of 50% smash hits, and 50% filler. The high points are some of their highest, and I mean, it’s Queen, so even the filler has its moments. If you’re into 80s Queen, I’d give this record a listen, but if you’re more of a 70s person, you’re not missing much skipping it. But, its score will be elevated because it’s just so hard to top those hits, absolute classics without a doubt.

Highlights:

1. Hammer to Fall

2. I Want to Break Free

3. Radio Ga Ga

Final Score: 7/10 (Pretty Good)

Finally, this review is finished. It’s been a nice, long break, and I’m ready to get working again. Catch me back here at some point to hear my thoughts on The Cure. I’m not sure what they’re curing just yet, but I’m eager to learn.