My history teacher has informed me that it’s a bit of an insane jump to review Bob Dylan and Metallica back to back. But screw it; they’re both good. I’m here to talk about what’s good, no? Well, mostly what’s good, I’d honestly love to review an album I know is terrible one day.

I can’t say that Metallica is what got me into metal; that was Black Sabbath. But they were one of my first loves when it comes to metal, and I’ll always be grateful for them because of that. In the year of our Lord 2025, (I’m really hoping it’s not 2026 by the time I’m posting this) you can find far heavier tunes than those you’d find on even Metallica’s heaviest record. But in no way does that mean they shouldn’t be considered metal, or receive their well deserved kudos for popularizing thrash.

So with that out of the way, and hopefully all those pretentious metal-heads gone; let us begin.

Part 1: “Kill ‘Em All” (1983)

Picture this: the year is 1983 and heavy metal is infiltrating the billboard top 100 like never before. Dio has joined Black Sabbath to save rock and roll; Ozzy is still topping the charts with the second of his guitarists to melt faces; Rob Halford has convinced everyone that leather pants are a look (debatable); it can’t possibly get any better than this. Or could it?

*cue ominous music*

Ominous music indeed, because it’s about to get a lot more ominous. Metallica has just released their debut album, having intended to call it “Metal Up Your Ass” before a far wiser man convinced them to call it “Kill ‘Em All”, which I honestly don’t think helped their reputation among parents as much as they thought it did. (you don’t even wanna know what these guys were gonna put on the cover)

“Kill ‘Em All” wasn’t like Dio, or Sabbath, or Ozzy, or even Judas Priest. Not to encourage profanity or anything, but it truly was “metal up your ass.” It was loud, fast, aggressive, messy, and dark. Frankly, it was exactly what metal needed. While Metallica didn’t invent thrash; they sure did bring it to the masses.

So why waste any more time; let’s get into this track list. They open with “Hit the Lights”, probably the most … energetic of these ten songs. It’s sort of strange to hear Metallica’s frontman James Hetfield on these older tracks; it’s hard to overstate how much his voice has changed. I’m not gonna glorify these vocals, they’re anything but perfect. He’s just so full of passion and energy that he comes off a little screechy, like an owl that’s had 10 cups of that Panera lemonade.

“Hit the Lights” is also by far one of Metallica’s fastest songs, like maybe ever. I think that was probably their intention when putting this at the very beginning. It’s an effective opener; I immediately know what to expect from this group.

Next is “The Four Horsemen”, one of a few tracks here that makes former Metallica guitarist and current Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine’s influence incredibly evident. No, he did not write this album, (as much as he would like you to think he did) but he did contribute to it quite a bit. And I’d be lying if I said his contributions weren’t part of what makes this record so special. The strongest part of “The Four Horsemen” is Dave’s riff; there’s simply no question about it. In fact, he thought it was so good that you can actually hear it again on Megadeth’s “The Machanix”, off their debut album “Killing Is My Business … and Business is Good!” (not to promote the enemy here, but that’s a pretty great album)

People like to make fun of Dave for all his beating of the dead Metallica horse, but honestly I’d be pretty pissed too if my ex-band used my riff and it was this good. That being said, the riff isn’t everything. I also appreciate the chorus melody that James added; it’s incredibly catchy. And while it was probably intended as a silly throw away kind of joke, the “Sweet Home Alabama” segment you can hear at about 3 minutes 27 seconds (also Dave’s contribution) is hilarious.

Although it seems pretty overlooked by its streaming numbers; track 5 “(Anesthesia) Pulling Teeth” is a personal highlight for its awesome bass solo performed by the late great Cliff Burton. His tone is unmistakable. It’s probably best heard in “For Whom the Bell Tolls” off their second album “Ride the Lightning”, but it sounds incredible here too.

Les Claypool, frontman and bassist of prog metal band Primus, tells a pretty funny story about the bass line in “For Whom the Bell Tolls.” Following Cliff’s death in 1986, Metallica had begun auditioning bassists for the role. Les Claypool took the audition, and they ended up asking him to play “For Whom the Bell Tolls.” Now this bass line is obviously iconic, but this was before the age of the internet and online tablature. Cliff’s tone is so distorted that his bass is barely recognizable as a bass. Lots of people mistake his bass lines for electric guitar parts; Les Claypool being one of those people. James had asked him to play along with the group and was very confused when he didn’t come in with that chromatic bass riff, as he had assumed that was Kirk Hammett’s line.

Of course there’s really no way you could ever mistake this bass solo you hear on “(Anesthesia) Pulling Teeth” for literally anything but a bass solo, because you can actually hear engineer Chris Bubacz say “Bass solo, take one.” I totally understand why they kept that in because it’s an insane flex to have done this in one take.

The next track I’d like to highlight here is number 6; it’s very appropriately “Whiplash.” This is one of my all time favorite Metallica songs; I love it. Its lyrics are pretty cheesy; name-dropping your band is kind of a no-no. But I’ll award James some grace there; lots of classic bands have had some pretty cringe lyrics featured in their debut records. Need I discuss the time Robert Plant name-dropped himself in a Led Zeppelin song again? I don’t think so. I’ve said it time and time again; I have never come to metal for poetry. I’m sure I could find it if I wanted to, but it takes some truly horrible songwriting to turn me away from a metal group. And “Whiplash” just doesn’t commit a songwriting crime severe enough to make me hate it, especially not when everything else about this song is so fantastic.

Its speed is similar to “The Four Horsemen” making it, again, one of their fastest. At this point I’m sure you’re sick of me calling these songs fast. Like yeah Eleanor, we get it. It’s thrash metal; of course it’s fast. But when you remember that James Hetfield is one of those freaks that doesn’t alternate pick; you start to appreciate the speed and intensity of “Kill ‘Em All” a whole lot more.

I obviously have to mention the big hit off this record, “Seek & Destroy.” Despite the uncanny resemblance its title bears to the Stooges song “Search and Destroy”, it actually takes its inspiration from the Saxon song “Princess of the Night.” Its first three guitar solos are nearly identical to those of “Princess of the Night”, while the fourth is entirely original. I really like that fourth solo, but I’m sure Kirk Hammett cringes every time he hears this original recording because there’s a very small mistake around 3 minutes 47 seconds that he’s repeatedly apologized for. There’s a reason this song was a hit; it’s got by far the catchiest melody of the bunch. It’s not my favorite, but it’s pretty high up there.

If you ask me; I’d say they should’ve ended it there. But they didn’t; they end with track 10, “Metal Militia.” It’s definitely aggressive and powerful, but ultimately not as profoundly classic as “Seek & Destroy.” And I totally see what they were going for with the whole fading out while the military marching fades in, but I can’t help but feel like a real last note would’ve hit harder.

So that was “Kill ‘Em All”, Metallica’s Kool-Aid-Man-style entrance into the metal scene. I absolutely adore this album despite its many flaws. It’s raw, it’s genius, it’s “metal up your ass”, and it’s the perfect musical representation of that young metal-head spirit that Metallica has sought to keep all these years. What makes it so different from their current records? Well this time it was authentic. However, I do understand if this album reads as “just a wall of noise” to you. There are loads of Metallica haters as well as Metallica fans that agree. Here’s a review I read on Rate Your Music today:

Come on out Dave; we all know it’s you. ;)

Highlights:

1. Whiplash

2. Seek & Destroy

3. The Four Horsemen

Final Score: 8/10 (Great)

Part 2: “Master of Puppets” (1986)

Okay, now the year is 1986. It’s been a solid 2 years since the release of Metallica’s sophomore album “Ride the Lightning.” It was a huge success; nearly every song has become a classic. Now they have to follow that up, and follow it up they did. Am I basic for calling this the greatest thrash album of all time? Very, but it’s true! It’s timeless and it’s heavy, and somehow still all played in standard tuning? Weird stuff.

Everyone is at their music peak here. Long gone are the days of birds and Panera lemonade; James Hetfield has become the cowardly lion he was born to be. (that wasn’t meant to be an insult; I’m simply calling it like I see it)

In all seriousness though; his vocals really do sound better here. He’s easily my favorite of the big four thrash vocalists, and this record only solidifies that.

This was the last Metallica album to feature Cliff Burton, as he unfortunately passed away while the band was on tour with Ozzy Osbourne. But he sure went out with a bang; this is easily some of his greatest work.

With “Master of Puppets”, Kirk Hammett is finally able to shine despite the ever-present spirit of Dave Mustaine ominously looming over him whispering menacing threats into his ear. “I had an affair with your girlfriend”, it says. “No, he’s lying. She wouldn’t do that”, he thinks. “It totally happened; just face the facts.” He shoos the spirit away, but he knows it’s still lurking there.

And Lars … well he probably contributed to this record too.

Okay, let’s pick apart some songs, shall we? They open with “Battery”, which is obviously a classic because it uses the classic Metallica formula. 1) Slow acoustic guitar intro, 2) Heavy electric guitars replace acoustic guitars, 3) Original melody becomes thrash riff, 4) Continue until song ends. (maybe the acoustic guitar comes back for a little bit) The formula rarely fails; sometimes consistency is all you need.

This is another effective opener. It’s very exciting; those changes in tempo leave you on the edge of your seat pretty much constantly. It’s strong on all fronts; overall just a great taste of what you’re about to hear.

Alright, here it is, the one you’ve all been waiting for, this record’s namesake, track #2, it’s “Master of Puppets.” God, this is such a perfect song. It’s so hard to keep someone interested through 8 and a half minutes of thrash metal, but “Master of Puppets” does it so effortlessly. I feel like such a poser having this song in my top 5 for Metallica, but honestly the real posers are the “fans” that like to hate on this song because it’s popular. That kind of makes you a loser.

These are actually some pretty good lyrics for thrash. As James himself so eloquently put it, this song “deals pretty much with drugs.” While not an original topic, it’s fitting for the song, and I think it’s executed well.

This song actually charted again fairly recently (2022) after its use in the TV show Stranger Things. I’d like to think it was because “Master of Puppets” is an awesome song, and that everyone was just so overcome with its awesomeness. And that was definitely part of it, but I also acknowledge that it was probably mostly because they did a great job directing that scene, and everyone was already writing their Y/N fan fiction about this fictional metal-head that “Master of Puppets” is associated with.

I considered cutting my yap there, but then I remembered that this is my newsletter and I can talk about whatever I want. So skip this next part if you don’t give a crap about Stranger Things I guess.

I think it’s so incredibly cool that Joseph Quinn actually played that first 20 seconds or so of “Master of Puppets.” It’s so rare to find actors that actually try that hard when it comes to scenes involving instruments. Like the other iconic TV guitar scene is probably Micheal J. Fox in Back to the Future, and he actually did try to make that scene look real, but it was still dubbed over by a session musician. But here there was actually a solid chunk of that scene in which what you watch and what you hear are one and the same, and that’s awesome. Did I totally nerd out in front of all my friends while watching this scene and make sure they knew how awesome it was? No! 😠

(I definitely did that)

Okay, rant over, let’s get back to the music. The moral of the story is that “Master of Puppets” is great, and I truly don’t understand how anyone can possibly hate this song. One more note before I stop talking about it though: you can hear a riff from David Bowie’s “Andy Warhol” at about 6 minutes 18 seconds. Metallica sure does love quoting other artist’s riffs, and I’ll eat it up every time.

Track 4, “Welcome Home (Sanitarium)” is another cult classic. Its intro is very majestic; very un-Metallica if you will. I’m not the biggest fan of its lyrics; it kind of just feels like they’re trying too hard. But then again, what do I know? I do love that guitar solo though; that was just great.

“Disposable Heroes” is unfairly overlooked if you ask me. That’s a sick rhythm guitar part from James, and probably some of his best work lyrically as well. Its story is clear and concise, and I think it fits in very nicely with the narrative this album is trying to convey. I have absolutely no experience with the military, obviously, but I think in a sea of great songs about the military, loud, thrash style guitars and lots of yelling add something.

Track 7 “Orion” is another obvious highlight for me. It’s 8 and a half minutes long, and entirely instrumental, so it has to work to make me love it. But it’s totally worth it; there’s nothing quite like that bit at about 4 minutes 17 seconds that has me thinking I’d go crashing through the ceiling if gravity weren’t holding me here. “Orion” easily showcases Cliff the most of these 8 songs. He truly was something to behold; that intro is absolutely killer.

And once again, I disagree with their choice of closers. They end with “Damage, Inc.” It’s fine, but I think it’s easily the weakest of the bunch. There’s nothing really setting it apart from the previous 7 tracks; it reads as filler to me. I do however appreciate the lack of a fade-out outro this time around, that was nice.

And with that, Metallica’s Magnum Opus “Master of Puppets” comes to an end. 54 minutes of musically engaging, rage inducing, thought provoking, thrash metal. If you are at all interested in heavy metal music and you haven’t checked this album out already; what are you doing!? They’ve perfected the formula; it doesn’t get better than this. So where do they go from here? Well I guess we’ll just have to find out.

Highlights:

1. Master of Puppets

2. Orion

3. Disposable Heroes

Final Score: 9.5/10 (Amazing)

Part 3: “Metallica” (The Black Album) 1991

What to do when you’ve completely taken over the metal scene? Completely infiltrate the mainstream while you’re on top! The year is 1991, and the band’s latest release has the entire world eating, living, and breathing Metallica. This album went number one in both the US and the UK. To say that was odd for a metal album would be an understatement. But that’s just it; there were questions regarding whether or not this was even metal at all.

Well here’s my take: This is not a thrash record, but it is absolutely a heavy metal record.

This album single-handedly killed thrash-era Metallica, whilst simultaneously bringing metal to the masses; arguably greater masses than it’d ever seen before. They took the deal; they “sold out.” Whether that’s a deal you’d take is an entirely different question.

But at the end of the day; it’s all in the past. There’s no use in spending your days mourning the glory age of fast and aggressive riffs, or drum fills a now 61 year old Lars would struggle to play. (and does struggle to play) What we can do is appreciate this brief era of simpler, digestible, but nonetheless well-made music that Metallica gave us. Because we all know what came next. God, do I really have to say it?

Like I hate to bring the s-word into this, but to claim that The Black Album is comparable to “S** A***r” even a little bit is just ridiculous. (and believe me; I’ve heard the argument) The Black Album, whether it’s your kind of music or not, is an undeniably high quality record. Bob Rock is a producing beast, and despite their fame-hungry tendencies; Metallica actually does know what they’re doing some of the time.

This album doesn’t deserve half the hate it gets, and I’m gonna tell you why right now.

They waste absolutely no time and open with the big hit, “Enter Sandman.” This being like the world’s most popular metal song, and everyone assuming it’s got these bad-ass lyrics because it’s a metal song, without realizing it’s literally about a kid having a nightmare will never not be just the funniest thing to me. It was actually supposed to be a lot darker, but Lars and Bob Rock didn't like the original lyrics, so they made James write new ones. I’d honestly love to hear that first draft, because it must’ve been really bad if Lars let “We’ll never stop, we’ll never quit, ‘cause we’re Metallica” slide, but this is where he drew the line.

There’s a pretty funny blooper you can watch from the recording of “Enter Sandman” that I quote constantly. If you didn’t know, it’s actually Bob Rock’s son speaking over that interlude at about 3 minutes 25 seconds. Anyway, he was very young at the time, and let’s just say he didn’t get that dialogue on the first run through.

https://m.youtube.com/shorts/1bkj17UMHhA#bottom-sheet

Lyrics and children aside, it really is a good song. It’s their number one for a reason, even if it’s not my favorite. It’s also the perfect track 1 for this album, and if sides C-D had energy like this, maybe The Black Album wouldn’t be as hated as it is.

Track 2, “Sad But True”, is another highlight. Complain about the speed of this record’s riffs all you want, but there’s no denying that this riff is heavy; I love it. And that drum fill at about 4 minutes 16 seconds is so simple, but so effective. This is a great song; argue with the wall.

Track 3, “Holier Than Thou” is about as close to thrash-era Metallica as The Black Album gets, which I do appreciate. It’s pretty fast; it has a great riff; it kind of sounds like an Anthrax song to be completely honest. It feels a bit out of place here, but it’s a breath of fresh air in times like these regardless.

“The Unforgiven” sends us straight back to square one when it comes to speed, but that’s okay because its intro is actually really cool. It does break the Metallica formula, however, dropping the traditional thrash riff and heavy choruses for softer, melodic choruses with clean guitars. I guess they tried to make the verses the heavy part here, but it’s kind of a stretch. This would be the first of the 12 songs I’d struggle to call “metal.”

Track 5, “Wherever I May Roam” has my favorite of these riffs. It’s not fast, but I think this song is overall really well done. I don’t mind its softer sections at all, they don’t feel as out of place as they do in “The Unforgiven.” “Wherever I May Roam” is unique for its use of the electric sitar and the gong which was cool. I like to think of it as the sister song to “Sad But True.”

“Don’t Tread on Me” reminds me of a less intense “Walk” by Pantera. I definitely don’t like it as much as I like “Walk”, but their riffs are very similar. I do like those low, sort of shouty vocals towards the end of the chorus though; those are nice. I think this song just shocked a lot of people because it read as very pro-war. This was of course following their previous record “… And Justice for All” that had a lot of very blatant anti-war themes and imagery. The band has clarified that this is not what they meant by “Don’t Tread on Me”, but I guess it’s just left a bad taste in the world’s mouth. It’s one of the stronger songs though.

“Nothing Else Matters” is sort of a “The Unforgiven” reprise; it just happened to be better. Once again we hear those clean guitars, soft vocals, etc. (very un-Metallica) While this song is well done; I just don’t find myself revisiting it that often. I don’t come to Metallica for rock ballads; I have Journey for that. Again, not to say it isn’t well done; it just feels kind of inauthentic to me.

I’m not gonna talk too much about the remainder of side C and side D because to be quite honest; they’re boring. You cannot convince me that “Of Wolf and Man”, “The God that Failed”, “My Friend of Misery”, and “The Struggle Within” aren’t basically all the same song in different fonts. If you ask me; this album’s #1 issue is that it’s too damn long. I know it seems excessive, but I truly would not have cared if they had closed with “Nothing Else Matters.” 20 minutes of essentially filler wasn’t necessary. It’s not terrible filler, not un-listenable filler, but it’s filler nonetheless. “My Friend of Misery” could’ve been a nice place for an instrumental and a bass solo; kind of like “Anesthesia (Pulling Teeth)” or “Orion.” But alas, it has vocals like the rest.

So that’s what I’ve got on The Black Album; Metallica’s complete 180 away from their roots and towards world domination. This record has some really strong moments; that shouldn’t be up for questioning. Its production is phenomenal. I’d say Bob Rock doesn’t play when it comes to making a great album, but then again he also made …

But this isn’t a “S** A***r” situation, not even close. No snares straight from the dumpster, no lyrics straight from the imminent mental breakdown, no bass lines straight from …the producer? No, Bob Rock did a great job here. I mean, he’d have to after the production abomination that was “… And Justice for All.” There was no justice; at least not for Jason Newsted.

So sure, this album is bloated, it’s slower than Metallica “should” be, it’s different, but it’s by no means bad. Its writing is for the most part strong, its sound is massive, and it sure did reach an audience.

Maybe the real metal was the friends we made along the way?

Highlights:

1. Enter Sandman

1. Wherever I May Roam

2. Sad But True

Final Score: 7.5/10 (Pretty Good)

Woah, this turned out so much longer than I intended it to be. If you read all that; thank you for your time. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I’ll catch you back here at … some point (I’m about to be 200% busier than I am now) with my thoughts on Queen. That’s right; I’ll be reviewing the Queen of England on a scale of 1 to 10. (1 being the worst monarch, 10 being the best) See you then :)