Being any kind of author is hard. But, I firmly believe that being a Female, Black, Non-American, Indie, Fantasy author is one of the hardest categories to exist in.

Here’s one thing I’ve learned so far, in the… *counts on hands* 9 months I’ve been doing this so far.

Author Friendships

How can I put this? What I’ve learned is that simply put: not everyone is your friend. In fact, most people aren’t. There are tons of connections that authors make within the reader and author spaces. Bookstagrammers, authors, content creators, PR companies, book boxes, you name it.

I’ve learned - mostly the hard way - that not all favors are reciprocated in kind. Not every one truly likes you - some just interact to widen their circles of connection. Not everyone will be honest or kind when you ask for feedback. Not everyone will cheer for you loudly the way you cheer for them. Not everyone will stick around.

I’ve seen many of the stronger connections I thought would last forever throughout my author journey fade away at the slightest puff of wind. I’ve had to cry through heartbreak, ghosting, attacks on my character, then pick myself up, brush the dirt off, and keep pushing.

I also think that because I’m on the ‘smaller’ side as an indie and haven’t published yet, a lot of people don’t see value in connecting with me. On the same hand, I’m very much an introvert and sometimes don’t make as much effort to connect with others as I should. It’s a double-edged sword.

Now, I want you to understand me - I’m not trying to throw myself a pity party. I don’t want condolences. Life is what it is and we have to play the cards we’re given as best as we can. I’m just documenting my experiences. I’ll make this a series, and share one thing I’ve learned on my journey each time.

See you next time bestie!