I don't know if you remember this, but in the confirmation email you got after initially signing up for my newsletter, I wrote: 'We're big on consent around here'.

I don't know if any of you waited 24 hours before confirming, but if you did, you would have gotten a reminder email that says 'We accept (mainly) enthusiastic consent around here'.

Thus commences the conversation about enthusiastic consent and dubious consent in my books.

I am, in fact, a dubious consent girlie. [If you know me in real life, please, for the love of God, pretend you didn't just see me say that.] So, naturally, it shows up in my books. But, before you get to any dubious consent scenes, or get slammed in the face by any kinky things, you'll have to give your consent.

Here's the thing. In my books, the characters who are involved in these things have given their enthusiastic consent to each other to be placed in a position where dubious consent or anything else is even on the table.

You, as the reader however, did not give consent to witness this. So, how do we remedy this? Content warnings. They are becoming increasingly important in this era of romance and spicy/explicit books.

As more and more writers dare to approach and write about uncommon kinks, interests, and potentially triggering, even immoral things, content warnings become more and more important.

Imagine going into a book where there's intentional necrophilia, bestiality, pedophilia, knife play and cum play, without any warning that you were going to run into that kind of thing. I mean, I’d be fine, but some readers would by harmed by the lack of warning.

As a writer, readers giving enthusiastic consent when beginning my book starts with them reading the content warnings first. Even if you do give enthusiastic consent, or dubious consent, or cautious consent going into my books, you can always withdraw consent and stop reading if you find yourself uncomfortable or triggered.

Think of my books as you and me making love (not literally, don't make it weird), and my content warnings as your means of consenting and withdrawing consent. You say the safe word, we stop. You're safe with me. Always.

Next time we talk, we'll talk about how scary it is to put yourself out there as an author.

Until next time, bestie!