inertia
"unless a force causes the velocity to change"
so it turns out that the more time a person spends not writing, the more they will keep not writing. as an object in motion stays in motion, so too does an object at rest stay at rest. not that i’ve been idle so much as idling.
i will elaborate.
between the end of october and the middle of february, i read (or skimmed in some cases) 63 books. are you thinking wow, that’s a lot of books? yeah, me too. my brain feels like scrambled eggs that sat in the pan for either a minute too long (dry) or a minute too short (runny), but somehow both at once. i’ve spent the week-plus since i finished with that list (they were award submissions, more on that later) reading all of the romance novels that came out in january and february while i was too deep in other books to stay current.
these are my favorite romance novels of this year so far: for one night only, you between the lines, unromance, earl crush, first-time caller, and on her terms. (those are affiliate links. also, i owe you all a best-of list for the second half of last year! it’s coming. eventually.)
i was too busy to write. i managed a few newsletters, but even those fell off, and once i was not doing it, it was very easy to keep not doing it. i need to write. it literally fuels my soul. (do i mean figuratively? no, i do not, and you can’t prove that i’m wrong.)
by far the worst thing is that i have barely touched fiction. in december finished a novelette that i started in june, a friends-to-lovers fake dating celebrity romance (yes, all of those things) that i wrote 100% for fun. i have literally no idea what to do with it! ideally i will be able to offer it as a freebie to go with my book.
then i wrote synopses for two possible future books and sent them to my agent to get her feedback on them, and specifically whether there are any plot problems i can address before drafting. (my god, can you imagine? the idea of fixing issues before i write them into a book is absolutely intoxicating. i will be the first person to ever write a perfect manuscript!) my current plan is to start working on a new book in march.
i am a fairly chaotic person (i hear the greek chorus screaming “fairly?”) and not great at waiting. (“not great?!”) last year i wrote zero (finished) books, though i did write quite a bit of a YA project that i might be shelving for now. in 2022 and 2023 i wrote two novels a year, so having my only finished project be 12,000 words is weird. although i suppose i should count the novel i edited from top to bottom. that would make me feel better.
and if i’m honest, i am really struggling with not writing. i’m bad at not writing! writing is the one thing i am good at! okay, i’m good at some other things too, but i don’t like any of them the way i like writing. i am happiest when i am writing.
it’s been especially bad because i have been sick a lot. not sick-sick, but like i had headaches every day for a couple weeks in january because i kept sleeping with my neck at a bad angle. then i had a weird cold earlier this month (not covid or flu, no one else in my household got sick, i think i am living proof that our moms were right and if you go out in the rain you get sick). i have basically been living in my bed, and when it’s not physical, i’ve had terrible anxiety and occasional big sads.
thanks i hate it!
i was planning to go out last night, and i just couldn’t handle it. i was in bed by like 8:30. i don’t want to be a person who lives in my bed. (at the very least, if i have to live here i’d like a more comfortable bed!) i want to be a person who goes out and does things. but instead of going to amy’s book launch, i had a shitpost go viral on bluesky. do not recommend.
so here i am. it’s almost march. if i start writing a new book next week, i might finish the draft by my birthday. what do you think—should i send out updates as i write?