In mid-March, I was folding clothes in my living room watching The Shade Room (on Youtube) with special guest, Raven Symoné. Lately, I’ve been non-intentionally diving into interviews with popular celebrities from the 90’s and early 2000’s. Prior to watching Raven’s, I watched an interview with Hilary Duff. I don’t see myself reflected in these famous, wealthy people, but I do see their humanity. It intrigues me. Or perhaps some of the things they talk about touch on thoughts I’ve recently had. In The Shade Room interview, Raven was asked about her use of social media. She responded that she’s not scrolling through the gram or Tik Tok following people’s lives. She, instead, is interested in scrolling with a purpose: to can expand her knowledge. This question brought something up for me, especially since I’m currently not scrolling — for Lent season I deleted social media apps from my phone. I started to think, “what does it mean to scroll through things either brain rot or expand my knowledge?” and “what does my social media presence look like once Lent season is over”? Here are a few rambling thoughts that did come to mind:

1. Being off social media means I’m missing out

   Let me tell you — I do feel left out of people’s lives. And I question this. We, social media users, use an online platform, freely, to showcase our lives to people we may or may not be interacting with on a regular basis, let alone a 1:1 basis. Is that not weird to anyone else? For example, there are people on Facebook that I do not consider close at all but FB has provided my feed with this person’s holiday picture with their newborn and pets. I could unfriend, but they could too? I could also just keep scrolling, but then why am I there FB friend and not reacting to their post? Ya see where I’m going with this? Sadly, I will miss out on events, updates, etc. I’ll have to be the girl that goes to the library bulletin board to see what’s happening in town, and I’m okay with that.

2. Social media uses up my TIME

   Not having Instagram or Facebook has significantly reduced my time on the phone. I’ve picked up a hobby that I am always putting on the back burner, and that’s reading! I’m utilizing the library app, Libby, to get those reading minutes in. I’m also using The StoryGraph to record the books I’m reading or wishing to read. I’ve also picked up Sudoku. When I’m bored, I do not rely on my phone to cure that boredness. I choose to be more productive because of the lack of social media.I’m the type of person that checks the weekly usage of my phone, and I like to watch the minutes go down from using Youtube or other apps.

3. What do authentic friendships look like without social media?

   Truth be told, I miss having a social circle. I’ve been in my hometown for over five years now, and I’m still struggling finding close friends in the area. I also do not have friends who I’m constantly communicating with, unless it’s a Snapchat streak. I’ll send a text to a friend or two to check-in and call it a day. What happened to phone calls? Long text messages? Is everyone else having these at 29, but me? I’m truly curious to know what these connections look like outside off social media.

4. Social media and mental health

   There’s no question about it — if one doesn’t know what a healthy relationship looks like with social media, mental health will take a hit. I have heard folks complain about what they see on their feeds, and I’m thinking: unfollow, close app, or get off the app. I did not delete ALL my social media apps. I only deleted FB and IG off my phone. I kept Snapchat but notifications are off. It’s a fast way (yes, faster than text) to connect with people I occasionally talk to. I also have Pinterest. I don’t necessarily consider it an app like FB because but it is the perfect place to find recipes, decor ideas, hair inspo, etc. If what I’m using (social media) is not filling my cup, I will not let it rot my emotions either. I’m for using only apps that provide you with relief, excitement, and creativity.

5. I could live without it (socials)

   I will make my return to Instagram and Facebook soon after Easter just to check-in on messages or any quick updates, but I don’t think I’ll stay on for long, and if I do, I will mainly have the app but not get on their daily. It’s nice to not know everything about someone that I have no connections with. In a small town, I want to run into people and truly not know anything, so I can ask them questions that are authentically true and not based off what I witnessed in their recent post. Similarly, I do not think I need to update others with my life — if you are close to me, I’d hope you’d know where I am or what I’m up to. I plan to make posts on IG when I feel like it. I’m sad to think that I will most likely miss incredible updates from people I do cheer on! Some of my newsletter folks, you are the people I cheer on, and if you don’t hear from me through the socials, perhaps I can reach out via text, or I welcome you to do the same! Thank you for being here and (hopefully) still reading my newsletters.

What I’m Listening

• Good Hang with Amy Poehler

• Songs by Lenin Ramirez

What I’m Reading

• By the Book by Jasmine Guillory

What I’m Watching

• New episodes of Matlock (the news about one of the cast members who was written off the show is so MADDENING)

What are you social media habits? I’d love to write a newsletter based on the responses provided from this newsletter. Let me know your thoughts, and I’ll feature your response!