braving the online world
soy la misma newsletter
Happy April! I have no idea where March went but hopefully you're feeling just as recharged as I am now that it is Spring, well kind of (Minnesota weather is taking it's fine time leaving winter).
In this newsletter, I wanted to focus on something I've been having a really hard time with, and that is surviving the social media scrolls. Social media has a ton of layers and I can only unpack so much... You see, in January, I did the biggest thing unimaginable and that is signing-out of Tik Tok indefinitely. While I might get FOMO, I can absolutely say that it has helped my mental health tremendously! The endless scrolling of videos that were way too on-point with my thoughts began to get creepy. I felt like the internet could see right through me. For example, if I was thinking about anxiety, friendships, family, education, etc., Tik Tok would have a video on my feed about that exact thing! While using social media to cope with stress and burn-out is not a good idea, often people do use it as an escape -- I sure did, but everything I didn't want to think about started to actually come up and it was time to let go!
Besides Tik Tok, there is one I'm debating on also making inactive. And that platform is LinkedIn. I swear I'm addicted; I log-on once a day and scroll to see what people are up to and/or what opportunities are out there whether in my realm or not. Well, as some of you know, I started law school in August and left law school in the fall. It's an experience I'm still mourning, an identity that I was so stuck to the hip with and still trying to wrap my head around. My LinkedIn is full of connections with lawyers, law students, and people interested in the law. I am reminded of my re-direction (cause we are staying away from the word 'failure') often and it often pains me. "Am I doing the right thing?" "Did I quit or did I fail?" "Why is that not me," and the torturous thoughts continue. Now, I know I shouldn't let it get to me but it does. I try to scroll right past them posts and get my mind to focus on other cool things happening on LinkedIn. To be quite honest, I haven't been so vocal about leaving law school on my socials. I haven't found the right words to say -- I also don't feel like I owe anyone an explanation. I just chose to not continue, point-blank-period. But as a former overachiever, type-A human, I am still trying to shift my mindset to think and see things differently-- to be more than okay with how things didn't plan out for me, to be grateful with how things are going for me, to see the side of my redirection in my perspective not through the lens of others. I also don't know why we (really, I) obsess over little things that I see online. As someone who lives in a small-town that is conservative-leaning, I can be hard on myself for choosing this place as my home when I could be doing "cooler" things in Washington, DC, the Twin Cities, or any other urban area. Heck, I miss hanging out in hipster-like coffee shops and totally pretending like I have my life all-together! Instead, a quick drive to Caribou or Scooters will have to do and the realization that I don't have my life together is FINE. I do have to remind myself, "people who post 'successful' things may not be having an easy time." People who scroll and read other's posts may glorify that single post and make it into the identity of that person, but humans are so multi-dimensional!! We are dealing with bs, joy, frustration, laughter all at the same time or in the same week. I'm also thinking I need to shift this attitude of "What must I do next?" to "How am I living my most authentic-life today?" Easier said than done, but I do think my fist step is to not log-in to LinkedIn so often aka everyday! This redirection needs attention and love. How do you brave the online world? How do you make sure you're not consuming more than what you're experiencing irl?
What I'm Watching and Loving rn:
Saturday Night Live: from Keke Palmer to Quinta Brunson, the show has become a must-watch.
New season of 'Good Trouble'
More new episodes of 'Abbott Elementary' and 'How I Met Your Father'
What I'm Listening to and Loving rn:
Boy's a liar Pt. 2 by PinkPantheress, Ice Spice
Soweto by Victony, Tempoe
Sobran Motivos by Conjunto Rienda Real, La Pocima Nortena
What I'm Manifesting rn:
Grant money to afford a 5-month long poetry workshop!
SEL (social and emotional learning) training this summer via yoga
Joy
Good weather for some biking and hiking!
Keep on continuing on, and keep on not scrollin' the online world too much. See you soon.
-a. valeria