This fall and winter, I tested the waters by cooking big Mexican meals. My favorite cooking buddies are my mother and Roque. I’m most proud of making mole, [mohl—aye]. If you don’t know what mole is, it’s a sweet and spicy paste/sauce that can be eaten with rice, tamales, meat, and more. We served it with chicken and rice. It’s a long process full of important steps. Some of the popular ingredients in mole are guajillo peppers, chocolate, and peanuts. While we cooked, my maternal grandmother joined us via phone and walked us through ingredients, and while we didn’t have all of them we made do with what we did have. A very sweet moment to share this time of the season. It certainly feels like I’m stepping fully into my cooking-era where I’m putting more time into planning out a recipe and planning out hours in my day for it. As the eldest daughter of a woman who kills it in the kitchen (and the entire family knows it) there’s some pressure to be the next in line to care for our recipes AND be good at making them. I feel very lucky and blessed to learn from my mother!

I’m always in awe this time of year as the natural world changes colors, the wind gets icier, and the small wild animals are less visible. The early dark evenings are also not the best, but I’m learning to be in gratitude of them. Roque’s birthday lands on Winter Solstice. His love for winter has shifted my perspective of how I see the heavy dense fogs and snowy conditions. Growing up, winter felt fun as we marched outside in large winter coats, winter snow boots, and big gloves ready to make snow angels, snow man, and a snow fort. The darkness makes my spirit feel heavier as an adult. Anyone else? I’m trying to work on feeling more like a slow-falling snowflake and taking advantage of rest and other indoor hobbies.

The end of November brought me a change of speed. I’ve been feeling great all this 2025 — very happy in the fact that I traveled and did things outside my comfort zone, like spending three weeks in Bemidji all on my own. Heck, I even completed my masters program this early December! I am truly thankful for what this year has offered. I’m also so proud of all the things I’ve accomplished. And as I was making moves and feeling tremendous, my body and mind took a dive into deep waters. Let me explain. I was eating lunch in my classroom, when all of a sudden I felt chest pain. I have dealt with anxiety in the past, so I jumped to conclusions that I was having a panic attack. It freaked me out, as I’ve never had this experience in school. I went down a rabbit hole of what the heck could’ve done this— I definitely do not recommend looking up your symptoms because the internet does not know you (aka me) and will only worry you more. A week later, I noticed my body just feel more tired than normal. My chest pains were also re-occurring. I then started becoming incredibly emotional. My body started to live in a state of fear and panic because my beautiful brain decided to jump to the worst conclusions of what was occurring to me. It wasn’t until two and a half weeks after the first chest pain incident that it occurred to me that in 2024 around the same time, I had been diagnosed as anemic. I recall stopping my iron supplements as soon as I finished the bottle of 30 days and didn’t think of it much, as I was feeling perfectly fine. I was supposed to get re-tested, but I never did. Therefore, I requested getting blood work done this winter. The tests came back with me being extremely iron-deficient. The reason is still unknown — truthfully, I need to start eating more beets, legumes and red meats! My doctor immediately noted that we’d be doing three 3-hour long IV iron infusions and then starting on the supplements again. I’m still on the journey of finishing my IV iron infusions and they don’t take full effect immediately, unfortunately. So only patience from here on out. It’s not the most fun, but if it means getting me back to my best days then it’s something I’m willing to do. All in all, winter can be tough for our physical and mental health. I hope you are all finding (and doing) the things that require you to take care of yourselves! It’s okay to rest and move slowly, especially if the body is screaming at us to do so. If you are experiencing health issues, I do hope you have a support system that is ready to come through for you. A hug from a loved one can go a long way!

I’m closing the year by being gentle with myself and thanking my nervous system for taking care of me. How are you slowing down? What does the Winter Solstice season mean to you?

What I’m Listening To

Beéle

Hayley Williams’ new album

Olivia Dean (duh!)

What I’m Watching

Mexican Youtube vloggers traveling to the motherland for the holidays

Christmas movies

Wishing you all happy holidays!