April 15, 2018

Issue #35 The Gratitudes 51 - 75

Welcome to A Most Unreliable Narrator, the slice-of-life newsletter of GenXer around town, Lisa Rabey. I talk about anything and everything with a bit of swears. I’m glad you’re here.

Hello my crazy, shiny goblin friends!

If you've been following me around the Internets this last week, you know I'm coming down from a week long manic episode. TEH and I speculate the anesthesia from my surgery last week must have triggered it because I was high as a kite and more energetic than one should be coming out of the hospital after an invasive procedure; I stayed up until 6AM Wednesday morning, and my sleep has been short all week.  I love being manic because I have ALL THE IDEAS and I can cure CANCER and such like. I am supremely grateful this episode is super mild and easily contained. I've been keeping myself away from big projects, trying to abstain from caffeine, and doing some form of exercise every day. It's better than it has been as I come down the tail end but there is no demarcation when it will end. I'm harnessing all this energy to do good rather than fritter it away because I have no idea when the crash is coming, and it will come, and how long it will last or how bad it will be.

Because I have ALL THE IDEAS, I came up with a new blog. An explanation as follows from what I wrote on Facebook last night:
 

For a zillion years, I wrote about being crazy and then I crashed and writing about being crazy was too exhausting. Now that I've got some stability back in my life, I've decided I want to not only live a more mindful life (rather than half-assing it) and as well as be better alley to my friends who may not have as much relief as me and in order to do both I needed to become a better mental health advocate while practicing mindfulness.

Tada! A new blog! (I'm coming down from a week long mania cycle which thankfully has been pretty light.)

The blog's sole purpose is to write about mindfulness, balance, and spirituality through the lens of being crazy. There is a lot of legit studies showing mindfulness can ease the suffering of mental illnesses and yet not a lot of people are blogging about it so I'm taking up the mantel. I have SIX pages of ideas (hellooo mania) so content should be heavy.

You can follow the blog at http://effingmindful.wordpress.com/.

For those of you who follow the newsletter, nothing will change here. I started the blog because after half-assing being mindful for the last few years, I want to embrace it fully (both my personal and couple's therapists are mindfulness practitioners) and there is barely any blogs that deal with being crazy while working on a mindful life. There are a fuck ton of mindful / minimalist / wellness blogs but they don't talk through a mental illness lense and they have something to sell, a download for you to enjoy if you sign up for their mailing list, or some kind of capitalist intent. What also chaffs my wheat is some of these sites try to copyright ideas. This shit has been around for over a zillion years! Can you just not! I don't have a capitalist intent. I'm not opposed to making downloads in the future because checklists and printable reminders are very helpful to some but the idea of selling a course/ebook/whatever repels me. (I did joke around I should start a business being a "mindful coach" but I couldn't take on the idea of faux responsibility for others and the content could be harmful since I'm not a doctor or a licensed therapist.)

I know some of you may be concerned, and rightly so, that I'm adding more projects on top of projects especially with the writing of said blogs. I update the Jane Austen (And Brontes) blog once a week and I'm usually a two - three weeks ahead on posts; the poetry blog is month long project and then it will slow down at the end of April, and Effing Mindful will transition to being a once a week update blog like the Austen blog once I get the rhythm down. The newsletter will not change.

I still have plenty of time to study and apply for jobs, I promise.

Gratitudes

51. I am grateful for yoga keeping me centered and balance
52. The ability to make choices that is best for me not for someone else
53. For my internal strength. I may get knocked a lot but I always come back swinging
54. For learning compassion for myself and for others
55. For learning forgiveness and letting go
56. For Wellbutrin seemingly working #fingerscrossed
57. The kindness of others towards me
58. Continuing to take accountability for my actions
59. I’m grateful for everyone who has given me support, cheered me on, gave advice, offers of hospitality when I needed it, and so much more. I keep telling people the big lesson that I’ve learned in the last year or so is humility and gratitude. My life is still a delicate eco-system and I think on one level it is always going to be, but the foundation is much stronger thanks to everyone who has come forward with help. Really, I’ll probably be repeating this gratitude a lot in the upcoming weeks and months because I really am that grateful for everything that has been given to me. As much as it gnaws at my soul to say that I’m “blessed,” I am feeling pretty beatific these days.
60. For having an in-building washer and dryer. While I enjoy doing laundry (the smell! the neat piles of folded items!), not having to schlep it out someplace else is a delight
61. Spring is finally here. It may flare up my allergies but I love the change from one season to another
62. Friends who send you random presents! (Especially ones who send you fresh baked cookies!)
63. Wellbutrin continues to work its magic. Let’s all bless science!
64. The ability to spend time with friends at mini-vacations
65. New glasses so I can see the world clearer and in focus
66. For my tattoos, as each one tells a story
67. For TEH trading days when to walk the dog so neither of us are getting up everyday when the sun rises
68. I was not the same person I was yesterday, last week, or six months ago. I’ve grown.
69. For music to help express my moods.
70. For living in an area that has much to offer
71. That change is always constant
72. For the amazing world we live in
73. DBSA, the 12 step program for bipolars
74. For the ability to have seen the world when I can
75. For vegan versions of dairy products so I can have butter, ice cream, and milk

Happiness

51. All kinds of kisses (not just the ones from a new lover)
52. Glitter pens
53. Jane Austen retellings
54. Sudoku
55. Vintage cameras
56. Literary maps and cartography in general
57. Learning a new language
58. Shield maiden barrettes 
59. Van Gogh’s The Cafe Terrace on the Place du Forum Arles at Night
60. glitter gel pens
61. Peeps!
62. Carbonated water
63. Pita chips and hummus
64. 1/2 off Easter (and Halloween) candy
65. C2E2!
66. Begrudgingly Daredevil
67. Pops!
68. Fluffer nutters
69. Trader Joe’s speculoos + cocoa swirl paired with pretzels
70. A new tattoo!
71. My cardigan collection
72. My t-shirt collection
73. Fresh cut apples
74. Powerpuff Girls
75. Polaroids

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You've just finished reading A Most Unreliable Narrator: the slice of life newsletter from the GenXer about town, Lisa Rabey. You can find me on Instagram, Facebook and Bluesky if you're so inclined. I am everywhere. Copyright © 1996 - 2025 by Lisa Rabey