A Most Unreliable Narrator Issue #138 Some writing tales to tell
Also, Legend of Zelda.
Welcome to A Most Unreliable Narrator, the slice-of-life newsletter of GenXer around town, Lisa Rabey. I talk about anything and everything with a bit of swears. I’m glad you’re here.
Welcome to A Most Unreliable Narrator, the slice of life newsletter of GenXer around town, Lisa Rabey. I talk about anything and everything with a bit of swears. I’m glad you’re here.
(Buckle up chums. This week’s essay is a long one.)
Dear Internet,
I went to my first writer’s group on Tuesday. Lucky for me the meeting was within walking distance of our condo at a coffee shop I frequent occasionally.
I felt like, as Carolina Kate recently described her new job, like a new kid entering kindergarten. Would they like me? Would they allow me to come again? Could I sit with them and make friends? I was so nervous. I saw the group when I walked in, but I went straight to the counter to order my drink (tall vanilla decaf latte with whole milk) and gingerly approached them. Once they assured me they weren’t serial killers, I sat down, got my laptop out, and prepared to write.
The group is a chapter of Shut Up & Write! The idea is that we meet at 5:30 (or whatever time), chat for a bit, the coordinator sets the timer at 5:45 for an hour and we just…write. And the group has been meeting for years, which means it will stick around for a bit.
It was agonizing to get out of my shell going to the meeting. Yes, yes, I’m obnoxious online and once you get to know me in person, that is also true. But when meeting people for the first time, I tend to hide in the corner and just wait for someone to approach me first. When I’ve put myself out there in the past, I would sigh with relief when I was done and try to feel good for putting myself out there, but it always felt difficult.
(This probably stems from my current topic with my therapist about not being seen and being seen as a fat woman and as a woman losing weight. More later, I’m sure.)
The people were so nice, and I felt super comfortable talking to them, so I take this as a good sign. I’ll be back again next Tuesday!
Issue #136 was all about my breakthrough to write. And to celebrate, in a way, found my stack of writing reference books while I do the great bookening.
I am using those reference books as a springboard to take my fiction writing seriously. Even though I wrote in #136 I was slowing my reads to get the mechanics, I’ve changed coure. I’m starting out as if I know nothing about how a story is constructed, plotted, or the character developed. I’m treating it as if I never or at least rarely read. I will learn a skill and mechanics from the beginning.
I am starting with The Everything Guide to Writing Your First Novel. Sounds crazy, right? I’ve been reading, voraciously, for over 45 years and writing non-fiction for at least 30. Why would I need a book teaching me how to write?
Fiction is a difficult and different beast. With non-fiction I just write. Sure, there will need to be editing and sure, I’ll need to make sure the content is cohesive, but it’s easier for me to do that then construct a fake story. Fiction requires a lot of thought, research, and development before you start writing (plotting method) or if you pants it (write as you go method), you have to have at least a formed idea of what you want to write about.
I told you last week I came up with three book ideas. I decided to tackle book #1, genre fiction: woman finds herself. And at the writer’s group, the story just flowed. I had no plot, character development, setting, or a fully formed idea. I had figments of who she was and where I wanted her to go but I was fuzzy on the trip so I pantsed it. I knew I didn’t want her to be like me (Mary-Sueing). I stuck her, Aubrey James (now that I think about it, sounds like she’s a porn stare. Will need to change her last name.), in a profession I was not in but that I have a working knowledge off to make it sound realistic and set her in a location I also had a working knowledge of. Later after the writing group broke up, and I had gone home, I took notes about Aubrey’s personality, I made her height shorter, as well as socially awkward, and driven. She collects vintage war posters and drives a barely working Audi. She likes a good bourbon. She will be a big girl but that won’t be a driving force of who she is. She may be socially awkward but she’s very sure of herself. She is living in Silicon Valley and I’m moving her to N. Michigan to find herself. Her aunt has died and left Aubrey her bookshop and so far, the conflict is finding out more about her family, running the bookshop, integrating into the community, and maybe finding love.
(C’mon now. You can’t possibly believe with all the romance I’m inhaling there wouldn’t be some kind of romantic element in the book? Pish.)
(Aside: I tore up the idea of using real locations and names and I’m just winging it with fake names The only “real” aspect is which state she’s in. Fuck the haters.)
I’ve been reading the Everything book during lunch or after work, taking notes in my Aubrey file to help suss her out more. I’m plotting, as one supposedly does, the mechanics of the story. This week I also worked on the plot of the story itself taking what I’ve decided on and putting it into practice. I am working on plotting each chapter to give me an outline but we’ll see how that goes.
I’ve tried writing fiction in the past and wrote some stuff but it was not very good even after heavy editing by other people. I have ideas but I could never even get started on a plot. I knew I wanted the character to do X but to get them to do X, they had to do Y and Z and I froze getting there.
So, maybe this time it will be different.
(This is also version two of Aurbrey’s story. I wrote three thousand words when I started this journey and knew when I went to bed that night, they were trash. I’m feeling a lot better about version two but I’m not delusional enough to think there won’t be further versions.)
I joined a few online groups for writing support such as Romance Writers of America and one of their virtual chapters, Kiss of Death (mystery and suspense). (Dues are not cheap y’all.) I signed up for Poets & Writers magazine. I reached out to a friend of mine who is a published romance author for her advice (she was the president of her local RWA chapter) and she set me down a rabbit hole with questions and suggestions. My chum, I said, I’ve literally just started! But I did buy the books she recommended written by a well-known romance writer who is also a friend of hers. My said friend, a Katie, graciously agreed to answer any questions I may have, which is such a boon in these days for help.
Katie mentioned where I really wanted to go with my stories and how I would define success. Sure, sure, we all want to be #1 on the NY Times Bestsellers list but maybe that’s not all there is to happen. In 1996, I wrote Downpour on My Soul in a bipolar manic phase over the course of two days. (I survived on literal no sleep and lots of Diet Coke and cigarettes.) In 2017, I published it on Kindle as Commercial Breaks. The 30 or so handwritten pages turned into nearly 70 when set to publish. (It needs to be reworked so if you download it for the expensive price of $2.99, keep that in mind it’s a bit rough.)
And I remember when I published Commercial Breaks that there was this joy of just being published. I sold a few copies (like 20) but that someone paid for my writing was exciting. I reached out to another published friend, who has self-published a lot of work, Thursday morning for her help to find an editor and a book designer so I could update Commercial Breaks.
(One of the reasons I’ll probably never go to paid tier on Substack is not that I don’t think I should be paid for my work, but I’ve never put a price on my own worth for my writing. The best kind of price is word-of-mouth and the joy of that people are reading me is enough for this type of media.)
As I write these words about my journey, I feel like I’m regurgitating things I’ve said before (and I know I’ve said before). In the past, every time I got super excited about a project, I’d dick around with it for a few weeks, announce it publicly, and then leave because it’s hard. I’m trying to think what makes this time so special and different?
The last time, that I can recall, I had a great idea for a book was back in 2012-14 when I came up with the idea of an Edwardian mystery series set in London. The Edwardian age, named so for the reign of King Edward VII, of England, who ruled from 1901 to 1910. Some would argue that era was the Victorian age still and others thought Edwardian era went up to the beginning of WW I (1914).
For me, that era was the end of the Victorian age and the beginning of a new world. Things were starting to change rapidly during this period: Cars, radio, flying, electricity, movies, photography, and so much more. I thought of an ageing stage actress who while still beautiful, was slowly being shut down for roles due to her age. She decides to get into photography and ends up taking a picture of a murder.
(Ultimately, I wanted her to end up as a PI and turn it into a series. I thought that could be fun).
That’s about as far as I got.
I picked the Edwardian era not because of just the changes that were going on but also because it was a period that was rarely used in literature. People either really liked Victorian age or WW I and later. No one really wrote about turn of the 20th century, so I thought the idea was fairly fresh.
I started research and bought a lot of books, bookmarked a lot of sites, and spent an inordinate amount of time researching actresses of the time to model my character after. But I didn’t read the books, or study the websites, or much of anything really. I just bought and bookmarked.
And the project, unsurprisingly, was abandoned.
I feel confident that I did not pick up that project again since 2016 which about the time I started accepting, unfortunately for me, that I would never write fiction. This is it. And that’s when the writer’s block started.
I thought I couldn’t write fiction because I was old. I know this seems silly but in hindsight I had set up these expectations of myself over the years and never meet those goals. So, if I couldn’t then, then why now?
(I also took some time off writing my life over at Tiny Letter (before I moved to Substack). A couple of years maybe. What brought me back to non-fiction writing was this selfish need to be heard and here we are.)
When I had that dream of the three-book idea, the ideas felt full formed. I could “see” where Aubrey went, I could picture where my ageing actress was up to, and I felt super comfortable about writing an enemies to lovers romance. (Essentially a Pride and Prejudice knock-off. Probably set in contemporary times. Too many Regencies running amok. When I sell the idea or publish it, I will not mention it’s a P+P knock-off. Too many of those also running amok.)
Writing will also be a good hobby for me as I’ve given up on my fiber crafts. There is nothing wrong with fiber crafts but I just don’t have the patience for it. (Sorry Erika and Best Kate!) Plus, writing is portable. I have my laptop, a paper journal specifically for my stories, and a keyboard for my iPad. I can write and take notes everywhere.
I’m just really excited. I really hope I can pull this off.
What I’m Reading
This year I’ve committed to read 75 books via the GoodReads Reading Challenge.
Glenarvon Byron’s ex-lover was so distraught about their breakup; she wrote a roman à clef about their relationship
Pride and Prejudice Read this a zillion times but doing a read-a-long for Austen Mondays
Amor Actually Anthology of interconnected romance stories from top Latinx authors
If Walls Could Talk Lucy Worsley walks you through the history of the home
Cartographers Nell Young’s father is found dead and she must investigate why
Would I Lie to the Duke (Union of the Rakes #2) “When an ambitious entrepreneur pretends to be a lady of means, she catches the eye—and heart—of a duke”
Waiting for a Scot Like You (Union of the Rakes #3) When Major Duncan McCameron meets sassy Lady Farris, passion and misunderstanding ensues
You May Kiss the Bride (The Penhallow Dynasty #1) When Gabriel Penhallow meets Livia Stuart, passion and misunderstand ensues
The Murder of Roger Ackroyd Considered to be Christie’s greatest and MOST controversial mystery
Again the Magic (Wallfloweres #0) Lady Aline Marsden was brought up to marry a man of her class. Then she meets John McKenna.
Check out the media I’ve consumed for 2023!
Wonderful Thing
I’ve been playing Legend of Zelda since high school. (Which I won’t say when because I am old and I ignore that part as much as I can.) Every Nintendo system I’ve ever owned, which is all of them, almost always the only games I ever had were Legend of Zelda. (Though I did have Duck Hunt, Pac-man, Pikmin, Animal Crossing, and Q*bert when those were out as well with also my Atari 5200. I still have my N64 with Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time which still has my game.)
Now imagine my excitement when Nintendo has announced the release date of Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom! (This game costs $70! But I’m not going to complain about the cost, really. Game costs have stayed flat for years even though the cost of development has risen.)
But there is a secret I must confess: I have not finished Breath of the Wild or Link’s Awakening which are both on the Switch. (When I sold my 3DS, it also had Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds as one of the games.) I am yet ashamed.
While other adventure games exist, I always gravitate towards Zelda. I’m not sure if it’s the nostalgia or the character of the familiarity, I just really adore the idea of this elven character running around saving a princess.
Since I coughed up the pre-order, I deleted the saved data for Breath of the Wild and Link’s Awakening off my Switch, decided to sell the physical copies on eBay, and bought the digital versions of those games. Tears of the Kingdom comes out May 12 and I plan to finish, from a new, Breath of the Wild and Link’s Awakening.
That is, at least, the hope.
I dropped a lot of cash on Zelda on Thursday. Totally worth it.
lisa x
(Fuck fascists and Nazis!)
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