A Most Unreliable Narrator

A Most Unreliable Narrator

Archives
Austen Empire
Lisa Everywhere
Nerd Girl Industries
Log in
Subscribe
June 5, 2025

👮🏻 Dispatch Blotter Highlights 🚔 Issue #127 Black bear in yard, good size according to caller. Not aggressive.

Also, this week: Stolen potato chips, black cows hanging out on the side of the road, gift card scams, and underage drinking

Welcome to A Most Unreliable Narrator, the slice-of-life newsletter of GenXer around town, Lisa Rabey. I talk about anything and everything with a bit of swears. I’m glad you’re here.

Leelanau Enterprise, a weekly newspaper in Leelanau County, publishes 911 dispatch calls in every issue, with additional reporting by The Ticker.

These are the highlights.

These are all real calls.

Tuesday, May 13

2:38pm 5/13/2025 Trespassing Centerville Twp., Local company dumping chemicals in creek they own.

8:08pm 5/13/2025 Larceny Lake Leelanau, Caller believes that his watch, Macbook, and toolkit were taken from his car.

Wednesday, May 14

10:07am 5/14/2025 Larceny N West-Bay Shore Dr., Person took a bag of chips out of the market. One in custody.

Thursday, May 15

4:47pm 5/15/2025 Dumping Empire Twp., Illegal dumping at recycling center witnessed. Male dragged large tarp out of his truck with debris and branches, leaves, etc. Took rake out and scoped it up and dumped it into the dumpster.

Friday, May 16

12:09 p.m. — Elmwood Township Caller hasn’t heard from a friend, who aid he wasn’t feeling well. Called and got no response. (Law enforcement made contact. He is fine. Will call friend back.)

Saturday, May 17

11:33am 5/17/2025 Animal Control Leelanau Twp., Black bear in yard, good size according to caller. Not aggressive. Concerned it is in the village limits.

4:19pm 5/17/2025 Animal Control Bingham Twp., Last few weeks someone in the neighborhood has gotten a new dog and they leave it outside for extended periods and it barks the whole time. Would like to speak about options.

6:14 p.m. — Leland Township Four black cows at the side of the road.

8:18 p.m. — Solon Township Husband is going through house breaking things. Threatening caller.

Sunday, May 18

8:56 p.m. — Suttons Bay Township Tribal Police received call from manager of Eagletown station that someone stole items. (One in custody.)

Monday, May 19

11:51 a.m. — Kasson Township Male on caller’s property. He’s trying to take wood off caller’s property. Same thing happened a few days ago. Green Toyota with trailer. (Subject has left and caller no longer wishes to be seen.)

4:43 p.m. — Empire Township Caller was scammed on the internet.

5:54pm 5/19/2025 Animal Control Cedar Twp., Caller saw a giant white potbelly pig about ⅛ mile back from her property. He was there yesterday and he is still there today in the trees/bushes.

10:27 p.m. — Bingham Township Electric car broke down. They have called Onstar for more than two hours. Unable to move the car.

Tuesday, May 20

10:23am 5/20/2025 Animal Control Leelanau Cty., Tenant moved out last Sunday but hasn't been there in weeks, she abandoned her two cats that are still in the apartment. Cats have been removed and are being cared for.

1:34 p.m. — Elmwood Township School bus hit a bald eagle just south of Crain Hill on M-22. Caller doesn’t believe there is damage to the bus and will call back, if they see that the eagle landed somewhere.)

4:35pm 5/20/2025 Disorderly Leelanau Cty., Female acting belligerent in caller’s driveway and she won’t leave.

7:42 p.m. — Suttons Bay Township Caller’s twin brother is buying gift cards for scammers. Has done this several times. Individual thinks he’s getting $2.5 million out of this.

8:26pm 5/20/2025 Suspicious Person N West-Bay Shore Dr., Caller is reporting a male flipping off cars and lunging at traffic.

Wednesday, May 21

10:35am 5/21/2025 Animal Control Bingham Twp., Caller reporting someone dumped dog feces on his yard within the last 10 minutes. Suspect it was a female. Walked down to the lake after confrontation with caller, advised caller to clean up after her dog.

3:53 p.m. — Centerville Township Caller would like to register a complaint about a local farmer burning fruit (trees). Makes it difficult for him to breathe and he can’t go outside. (Caller was advised there is nothing illegal about burning on private property if there is no burn ban in place.)

Thursday, May 22

2:24 p.m. — Glen Arbor Township Caller received a post card with a number on it to call for a medical alert pendent. She is concerned that the company has taken money from her.

Friday, May 23

9:45 a.m. — Elmwood Township Caller owns property at this location. Brother is removing items from the property.

11:04am 5/23/2025 Animal Control Cedar, Pig is in the caller’s back lot for the last two days.

12:59 p.m. — Elmwood Township Old friends from Bay City are harassing the caller via phone.

5:15pm 5/23/2025 Miscellaneous Juvenile Cedar, Neighborhood boy riding up and down the road, seems to be trying to harass the caller, stops in front of house and revs the engine.

Saturday, May 24

9:04 a.m. — Elmwood Township Caller had someone call him who said he needed a bike. Asked if he did payment plans. He picked the bike up with a promises of payment. But, then blocked the caller’s number and hasn’t paid the caller.

10:29am 5/24/2025 Car Deer Empire Twp., Someone called the non emergency line to report a deer got “smacked”. Caller didn’t hit it, no other info. Deer deceased, will try to find someone who wants the deer.

2:53 p.m. — Kasson Township Caller wants to make sure the boat he just purchased on Facebook Marketplace isn’t stolen.

6:10pm 5/24/2025 Suspicious Incident Leelanau Twp., Caller saw an airplane land on the beach. It didn’t crash, but caller doesn’t know how they will get out of there.

10:59 p.m. — Leelanau Township Underage drinking. (Parents are being called and the party is being broken up. Sounds like there is a juvenile lost in the woods. Made contact with family. Subject is not home. The family has been notified and asked to advise to dispatch if she returns. Juvenile has been located. She is with her parents.)

Sunday, May 25

9:19 a.m. — Suttons Bay Township House directly south of the caller is a rental. But there has been a U-Haul parked there for over a week. Today caller saw a male put a small box inside.

9:25 p.m. — Suttons Bay Township Anonymous male in Traverse City advises his exgirlfriend may have been drinking and is heading up M-22 to Suttons Bay or Northport.

Monday, May 26

1:10 p.m. — Solon Township Property owners next door. Caller asked worker not to walk on her property or allow contracts that area there. Says two contractors are on her property now and she doesn’t want to deal with them.

1:24 p.m. — Bingham Township Caller says neighbor is building a fence on his property. On arrival deputy can see crew working on a fence. (After talking with the caller, he was informed that it is a civil matter and to contact an attorney.)

7:05pm 5/26/2025 Citizen Assist Northport, Had a woman walk in who said that she had walked from Traverse City, is acting sketchy and says she wants food and is afraid of her boyfriend. Is asking staff members for a ride or saying she wants to walk to Empire.

(Fuck fascists and Nazis!)

You've just finished reading A Most Unreliable Narrator: the slice of life newsletter from the GenXer about town, Lisa Rabey. You can find me on Instagram, Facebook and Bluesky if you're so inclined. I am everywhere. Copyright © 1996 - 2025 by Lisa Rabey

Don't miss what's next. Subscribe to A Most Unreliable Narrator:
← Newer 💻 lisa writes a lot of stuff 📚issue #53 Prioritizing Writing Work Older → 💻 lisa writes a lot of stuff 📚issue #52 Wanted: Romance Includes You

Add a comment:

Posting this comment will subscribe you to this newsletter with the email address you enter.
Share this email:
Share on Facebook Share on LinkedIn Share on Threads
bsky.app
Facebook
Instagram
LinkedIn
TikTok
YouTube
Threads
Powered by Buttondown, the easiest way to start and grow your newsletter.