Dear Internet,

I’ve spent most of the day (Thursday) working on new products for Nerd Girl Industries and sending a ton email with my new colleagues at a new writer’s chapter I’m now secretary of. This writer’s chapter is specifically for erotica. I’m pretty pumped about being part of the chapter from the ground up. I have been reading a lot of smut and kink as of late as a palette cleanser from the depressing non-fiction I’ve taken to reading so I have thoughts.

But the thing is even the kink is getting boring to me. I’m not reading taboo tropes or sex with animals or inanimate objects, rather, just some hard core BDSM and other kinks thrown in. There are a few authors who stand out and provide erotica with plot, but honestly? Not many.

Recently I checked out a romance anthology that had five novellas as its content. It was nearly 900 pages long. (Thankfully, it was in eBook format.) I liked two of the authors and that was the reason why I wanted to read it. The first author I liked, and whose entire catalog I’ve read, uses the same style whether it is contemporary or historical. (I’ve realised I’ve gotten pretty bored with her work though she has a new title coming out in the spring that finishes a series I’ve read.) The second author I like writes the kink/erotica/BDSM with vague nod to plot so that was fine. One author was insufferable so I DNF’s her novella and the last two were OK enough for me to check out their standalone titles.

Other than the erotica author, the other four were not writing erotica but were writing various levels of high spice content. But the thing is, even with different authors, the sex was repetitive:

• The man always has a massive and magnificent dick

• She has to “adjust” to fit him

  • The vagina is 3-4” deep before you hit the cervix. Bottoming out DOES NOT FEEL GOOD. (Confirmed by other vagina havers.)

• His dick is so massive, her dainty fingers cannot wrap around it

• Sex is up against the wall or on the bed

• He’s always on top or she is riding him for the first time and feels “beautiful” and “powerful”

  • I’ve read approximately one book, which was not high spice, where he fucks her from the side

• She’s always 6-12” shorter than him

• She’s always petite or slim, never average or curvy

• He’s built like a Greek god with broad shoulders and planes and angles of where his muscles begin and end

• He’s always rolling up his sleeves so she can get a glimpse of the “corded muscle” on his arms

• He always smells like smoke and sin

• Her lips were made for sin

• Her hair is always long

• He always seems more obsessed with her than vice versa

• He’s obsessed with the curve of her neck

• Nipples are always “tightened buds”

• Her vulva + vagina is always “the heat of her”

• He always has a curl/lock of hair that lays on his forehead and she always wants to push it back

• He always puts her escaped “riot of curls” behind her ear

• The only difference between historicals and contemporary is clothing

Geeze, that’s a list.

I’ve taken to reading thrillers and mysteries to cleanse the palette of the bad sex and lack of plot in my porn.

Maybe I should just skip from the non-fiction to the mysteries and thrillers and leave porn out all together.

Back to the writers’ chapter.

In the national association this writer’s group is a chapter of, I have to be a general member and not an associate (as I am now) to hold office with this chapter. The requirement is 20K words (or more) of a single completed work or multiple completed works combined to hit the 20K. They initially accepted two of my works (half the count) that were in draft format while the other two works were completed. They then changed their mind rejected all of it and said I need to send in completed (but not necessarily polished) work. I could have sworn I had a completed work that hit the mark but I cannot find it so now I have to crank out 11K words in the next few weeks. I’ve got 4K done which is a single sex scene that I’m going to wrap into a short story. I have an idea of the plot of the story so hopefully I can crank this out fairly quickly. I’ve written 8K words in one day before so I know I can do this.

What I really like about this new writers’ chapter is that the president, treasurer, and I all have the same gripes and complaints about other writers’ chapters and associations we’re in and why they are terrible. We’re hoping to actually make this chapter actually worth being in. I’m in a lot of different associations for writers but I’ve started dropping them at renewal time because either they did nothing, claimed to not be geography specific and then plan everything in person, or the board was a mess to name a few things. I am dropping four of them come January when it is time to renew.

A couple of months ago, I came up with a pen name for the sole purpose of writing erotica/high spice content. She has a website and IG but nothing is posted at either location. Her author photo is an image I got from Unsplash’s free license (you just need to credit the work). I’m doing the work for the erotica chapter under her name and other than them, only one close friend knows about her.

And I’ll probably keep it that way.

With previous pen names, I’ve never been worried about associating that name with my government name. Lots of authors do this. However, for this pen name, I feel weirdly protective of her. She’ll be writing high spice/erotica and I don’t want it confused with my contemporary work. Interestingly, readers prefer to not know about pen names since it also confuses them about who’s work is whose.

Which brings me yet another side hustle.

Late last year, I started plotting out the idea of doing a story serial. (Just like Charles Dickens and other famous writers who then bundled up the serials into books!) The concept would be a regularly published text episode of a larger story. The episodes would run like a regular TV season. Each episode would be less than 3K words or the rough length of a regular chapter. At the end of each season, the episodes would get professionally edited and wrapped into a single book.

Mr. Lisa has agreed to do the audio component. (He’s got a very sexy voice and he used to do voice over/radio work.)

When I came up with the idea, I put together a realistic plan and timeline. Originally the serial was to kick off in January, then my birthday in June, and now we’re looking towards end of year.

The thing is, where do I publish this serial? It would be considered mature content (18+) but I won’t have visuals. I researched various options and came up with the following list:

• Literotica (free, can promote other sites)

• Dipsea (audio only, allows submission of scripts and voice actors)

• Quinn (audio only, allows creators)

• Patreon (multimedia, tiered, high fees)

• Substack (multimedia, tiered, high fees)

• Ream (multimedia, tiered, high fees)

Nothing is stopping me from posting on all the sites and Mr. Lisa’s audio component on Quinn since it allows individual creators. I would use Literotica to build the fan base and send them on their way to another site.

The big problem is how credit cards are processed and getting paid. And the reason this is a big problem is that most sites use Stripe as a payment processor and they are assholes when it comes to mature content. Ream has it’s own contract with Stripe so going that route is one way and Patreon has its own payment processor that is not Stripe, and that is another route. No idea what Quinn or Dipsea use for accepting or processing payments but they either have a similar contract with Stripe like Ream does or process their own payments. Substack, which a lot of high spice creators use, allows 18+ content but it partners with Stripe with payment processing. Medium also uses Stripe for payment processing.

Hrm. Guess it’s not really that big of a problem now that I’ve broken it down.

The point being, is that mature content creators are getting bent over and not in a good way about selling their work and getting paid. There are horror stories of mature visual (video and image) content creators who are getting kicked off platforms for creating mature content or having their payment accounts frozen. It’s scary.

All this plotting and planning may seem like the cart before the horse but I want to do this project and distribute it to the world but without knowing the T&Cs of these sites could be detrimental. Even it was free.

You may be wondering why not just submit the work to an existing online publication. A quick search in Duotrope came up with about 50 publications (including book publishers) who accept romance and erotica. Knock out the non-paying sites? Down to less than two dozen, mostly book publishers. Which is fine, but, compared to the thousand of sites that handle horror, sci-fi, fantasy, lit fic, speculative fic, and more? It’s distressing.

And I refuse to submit to places that do not pay or pay token. (One site’s token was $3. I cannot even get just a black coffee for that price!) I no longer do work for free.

And this is where I’m at.

I’m now up to nearly 30 things that rile me up. Here is the updated list:

• Spread of misinformation

• Aggravated use of Gen AI

• Women’s treatment through history

• Current political climate, especially local

• Lack of basic data safety on apps/services/websites

• People standing up in concerts when the venue is seating only

• The fact my state library association charges double the membership cost if you’re not affiliated with a library, which is extremely prohibitive for those who work part-time or are unemployed

• Purity politics

• People who expect unpaid labor

• Zionist assholes

• Inability to easily delete/deactivate/cancel an account on an app/website/service

• Politicians and lawyers

• Still having my period at 54

• Employers ghosting you on job applications

• Late stage capitalism

• The economy

• Gatekeeping media (movie, music, books)

• People who sell goods/services for an inordinate amount of money

• Healthcare system

• J.K. Rowling

• People who continue to write, and profit, from Harry Potter fan fiction

• Mediocre while men

• Medical professionals using Gen AI in their practice with everything from defining diagnosis, literature reviews, and writing notes

• Doctor’s office that still do print intake forms

• Articles that attempt to dictate how to live your life/eat/dress/do when you’re X

• Terribly written sex scenes

• People who drive under the speed limit

• People who drive like assholes

• Businesses that don’t respond to emails even though you want to throw money at them

The list continues to grow.

Will I continue to publish this list? Probably.

Substack gives you character and word count and I’ve cranked out over 2K words in 1.5 hours. See. I can do the 11K no problem.

Keep it smutty,

lisa x

I’m fundraising for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention for the Out of Darkness walk again with the walk on September 19, 2026. As most of you know, a very beloved person in my life, the selfish bastard Brendan McAdams, killed himself on January 10, 2025. He would have been 47 this year.

(Note: Last year they had bibs for your back for you to write down who has suffered or died from suicide. I had ten people written down including me, my mom, and others I knew. This is a fucking epidemic.)

My goal is to raise $1250 USD. I’ve got around a lot more more to go as I’ve been a lazy git and haven’t been fundraising as I should have been.

This year I’ll be wearing my Team Otter Lee Ridiculous (name of Brendan’s Corgi) in solidarity. I’m also walking in N. Michigan rather than in Grand Rapids (if you’re in the area and want to come say hi!).

Even if you only have $5, please consider donating via ASFP’s website or Facebook (if that’s your jam). Since AFSP is a non-profit, you can write this of on your taxes if you itemize.

Note to Lee: You’ve already donated. Twice! Put the credit card down.

And in the grand words of Bartles & Jaymes, thank you for your support.