Dear Internet,

This is how I announce, via text, to Mr. Lisa I’m in the parking lot to pick him up. Here are a few recent ones.

• Your coach and four are in the parking lot

• Your cleaner than you wife is here

• Your chariot is here

• Your not sugar momma is here

• I am idling in your parking lot

• Your apple cheeked wife is here

• Your mom wife, who is not your sugar momma, is here. (No idea why the word “mom” showed up in that text.)

• I’m here! Let’s go get drinks!

• Mattie and Poodle are waiting for you in the car! (Reality Gays podcast hosts.)

• Your favorite wife is in the coffee shop in your building

• Your underemployed wife is here

I try to make each announcement different other than the boring, “I’m here” or “here.” Does he appreciate my creativity? Probably not, but it amuses me.

What I Do at the Library

Conversation was happening over on Bluesky the other day about what librarians do most days. Yes, each library type (academic, public, and special) is different. I work at a public library, and here is what I do regularly:

• Water plants

• Cut up stickers for the kiddos to take

• Clean out the spiders from around the drop box

• Run bingo games for the kiddos

• Restocking bathrooms

• Vacuuming

• Wiping down public service areas

• Resetting the toys in the kiddo area

• Resetting announcements on the sandwich board

• Other duties as assigned

Of course, there are the regular librarian-ing duties such as weeding, processing new books, running reports, processing interlibrary loans, checking materials in/out, reader’s advisory, cataloging, shelving, and reference. I’m thinking of what I do regularly, and I’m sure I’m missing a few things. I rarely have time to check my email on my shifts because I’m just so busy.

Now, I’m about to throw out an unpopular opinion: Librarians do not need a Master’s degree for most library jobs, primarily in the public library sector. Even reader’s advisory and reference can be taught on the job. Now, if I were going into academic or special libraries, I would absolutely need that MLIS because those are higher level concepts that cannot be taught on the job.

And the thing is, public libraries are slowly starting to get the lack of need for an MLIS because they are opening up positions where an MLIS is desired but not required. And because an MLIS is not required, they can pay new hires less than what having an MLIS can command. But this is not to say that those with MLIS are making fat bank, because I can most assuredly tell you we are not. Academia and specialty libraries tend to pay more than public libraries, but sometimes not by much.

What chaffs my wheat about academic libraries (and to some extent special) is that they want fucking unicorns for what they are willing to pay. I remember years ago when I was job hunting, I dissected a job posting for an academic librarian position that the job duties didn’t really match the title, and that what they were looking for (aka the “requirements”) were more like three to four different jobs.

This is getting me riled up because while being a librarian can be rewarding in so many different ways, sometimes I wonder if the shit pay I make is worth it. Between NGI and working part-time at the library, I’ll be lucky to clear $20K this year. Probably close to $15K with NGI being the breadwinner. You know how I talk about working for numerous libraries up here? Here’s the thing: they trained me to be subs and then never engaged my services, so Library B, the permanent job, is technically my only library job. If Mr. Lisa wasn’t working, and the library jobs here were not thin on the ground, I would be fucked.

Anyway, that’s my rant for being an underemployed librarian.

Lego MINI

I received the Lego MINI Cooper for Christmas in 2014. TheBassist is the one who bought it for me, but he was the one who put it together, not me, which chaffed my wheat. When I left him, the MINI got thrown in a grocery bag and stored for a decade.

It fell apart, as one would expect.

I was cleaning out some tubs a few months ago and found the grocery bag, along with the instructions still there, and I decided to put it together. I pulled out all the pieces, took apart anything that was completed, and sorted the pieces by color. I worked on it for about a month before abandoning it for another few months. The 1/2 built car and the remaining pieces remained scattered all over the living room table.

Yesterday was Cozy Saturday, and what better way to get cozy than to pop gummies, turn on a cozy mystery, and finish the MINI. Turns out I was almost done, so it didn’t take long to finish.

Miracles upon miracles, not a piece was missing.

It now lives in front of our TV and in front of my die-cast MINIs I’ve collected over the years. There is also another Lego MINI that is teeny tiny in that collection. Same color and design.

I have a few more Lego kits to put together, but this time they are still in their boxes as they were holiday gifts or purchases over the years for Mr. Lisa and me, once I clean off the top of a bookcase where those will live.

Cozy Weekend

Kristin came to visit this weekend with the whole goal of having a cozy weekend. What does a cozy weekend look like? The velour tracksuit was put on, the fuzzy leopard print slippers were worn, cozy mysteries were shown while we ate from a charcuterie board all day. I also bought mini-marshmellows for the hot chocolate. Devil’s lettuce was also imbibed, but isn’t that also cozy?

We finished the day watching The Substance, the horror film starring Demi Moore, which was really good. Demi is 10 years older than me and looks fantastic. #goals.

And in Other Places

Nerd Girl Industries Presents #26 In this issue: creating contracts for clients, circumventing the man, the NGI Book Club, where I review Grind by Michael McFall, and this issue’s tech tip is a celebration of Cybersecurity Awareness Month.

For Cybersecurity Awareness Month, I made, for free, my slide deck on cybersecurity for the rest of us. It covers social engineering, phishing/smishing/vishing, password cracking, and more. I also have examples, best practices, and links to resources. This deck is vetted by Mr. Lisa who works in cybersecurity. It’s available until November 4.

Lastly, I mention this over in issue #26 of NGI Presents on circumventing the man. See, the newsletter service I use is fantastic except for one thing: if you want a landing page for people to subscribe to your newsletter, you have to go up a few tiers in their plans. Now, if I needed or could use what that tier provided, no problem, but I don’t need any geegaws and whatsits. Right now, if people want to subscribe to NGI Presents, they need to navigate to my website and subscribe via the pop-up or subscribe with the widget. But with a lack of a landing page, I cannot link to a subscription page anywhere else online.

To get around that, I created a form, via Google Forms, that I can link to capture email addresses, which I add manually. I’ve verified that the automation I’ve created when someone subscribes kicks off when the new email address is added.

So! NGI Presents is a bi-weekly newsletter covering NGI, what’s happening in the industry, pet mascot of the week, and a tech tip. I’ve also started doing the NGI Book Club since I’ve started reading business books. If this sounds like something you’re interested in, go to nerdgirl.net or sign up via the Google Form.

Cozily yours,

lisa x