Dear Internet,

As I move NGI’s slide decks from Google Slides to Canva, they are becoming ready for me to sell. I want to have someone dying to know at 2 a.m. to learn about research beyond AI, and being able to download the deck right then and there, rather than my current process of sending a bill and then sending the deck once I’ve been paid.

I’m looking at two plugins for WordPress: WooCommerce and Easy Digital Downloads. Both integrate with my site builder (Elementor) but how-tos for both plugins are poor. I’ve been Googling my heart out to get answers as I worked, and finally decided to say, “fuck it,” and decided to hire someone to do it.

All I needed was someone with experience with WooCommerce and/or EDD, WordPress, and Elementor. I offered up $75 for the implementation, since if someone knows those things, it should take less than an hour to do it. (And that is what I charge per hour for my work.)

My dumb ass posts the exact details to LinkedIn. That’s why I’m a dumb ass. Anywho, I specifically asked for anyone interested to DM me with a link to their portfolio showcasing this set-up. (Or showcasing they know Elementor and/or the plugins.)

I got:

• A phone call to my Google Voice number (which is no longer advertised), shilling for their website design services

• When I last checked LinkedIn, several website designers sent me a request to connect with me

• An email to two addresses: One that isn’t advertised (ever) and the other one older than dirt that I haven’t used in years. Here is the email with my response:

I’m not so much the asshole that I will actually name and shame them, but still.

So, dude bro:

• I specifically asked for DMs and he emailed me instead with the aforementioned email addresses

• Says that I am looking for a website for my business when I clearly had ONE THING THAT I ASKED FOR

• Does not mention anything about WordPress, WooCommerce, Easy Digital Downloads, or Elementor

• The email is clearly a cut and paste job he cold calls with

• He Googled the fuck out of me (how he got the emails or guessed) but clearly did not go to my website which has a contact form AND the correct email to reach me by

Somewhere, Mr. Lisa is saying, “JFC Lisa” but honestly, that is one of the reasons why I wanted to work for myself so I can respond like I did!

I, of course, never heard back from Dale, but then again, why would I? How can you argue with someone who caught you in a lie?

I had this same thing happen to me years ago when I was looking for an editor for my written work. I had very specific needs, and I was very clear with those needs. My work, at the time, was short stories and prose with some in the erotica territory. The amount of responses I got was insane, and 90% of them clearly did not read my ad. I ended up finding a good editor out of that mess, thankfully. I closed the ad less than two days after posting because I got over two dozen responses. One woman said she did not do sexy times (Did you not read my ad??), and another went to my website and did not like my bio (??). Some congratulated me on my book (which did not exist), and still others clearly had a cut and paste job.

Does this tactic work? Is there some kind of guru who tells you that this is how to gain clients?

I do cold calls myself, but it’s after I research the company/website, tailor my email to their specifics, and then follow up after a month if I don’t hear from them. If still no response, I mark them as a no go. I’m not butt hurt over it, it’s part of the process, but still. I pay attention to the details!

Back to the WordPress config: I buckled down and asked Gemini the process of setting up Easy Digital Downloads with Elementor. I was very specific in my prompt, and Gemini came through like a champ, giving me what I needed with no fluff. It also gave me a list of plugins I may find useful, of which I bought one for 1/2 the cost I would have paid someone to do the implementation for me. I am, on my own (with Gemini), bending the site to my will.

Note: I am very vocal about my disdain for GenAI but I want it to be clear, as I have also said in the past, there are instances (like this) that GenAI was beyond helpful with. And not all AI is GenAI in case you were wondering.

One day like this a year would see me right

I’m writing this a bit early (Tuesday, in fact) as, while you’re reading this, I’m on the road to see elbow in Detroit. This is my fourth or fifth time seeing them live. Not too shabby for a lesser known UK band that's been around for nearly 25 years. (Lord, I got into them in the early 2000s!)

When I saw they announced a US tour earlier this year, there were no Chicago or Detroit dates when I went to Ticketbastard’s website, which I thought was weird, but hey, I’m not a tour manager. I was disappointed I wasn’t going to see them, but it is what it is.

Then! Evan reached out to me to tell me he and his wife were going to see them in Detroit in October and tickets were on sale. WTF? He told me the venue, and sure enough, tickets were listed but not under Ticketbastard but another vendor. This is why I didn’t see them on Ticketbastard’s list! (Chicago is also on another vendor as well.)

Mr. Lisa haaaattteeesss elbow so fuck him. I bought a ticket just for me and booked a hotel room (I live about 4 hours from the venue), reached out to Evan that my ticket was bought, and also posted in the elbow FB group to see if anyone was going to be at that show. I thought about staying at Steph and Sloth’s place after the show but eh, why not use points for a hotel room instead? Plus, the hotel is a 10 minute walk from the venue. I can also visit my favorite Chinese restaurant (or not as it may not be there anymore) or grab a coney dog. There were a couple of patisseries near the hotel back when we lived in the area that did amazing eclairs.

All my elbow tour t-shirts are in KY so I can’t wear one so boo to that. I may wear my “libraries are sex dungeons” t-shirt instead.

Speaking of bands, Sloth informed me The Ocean Blue were going to be in GR the same weekend as GR Comic Con. When he told me, I looked at him like who the hell is he talking about and it took a hot minute for the brain fog to clear and remember that, YES, I loved them in the ‘90s! I checked my music stash and sure enough, I have a few of their albums. I created a playlist on Spotify, as one does, and spent a day or so listening to them. I still knew many of the songs! It was pretty great moment tbh. Anyway, tickets have been bought for GRCC and The Ocean Blue.

Code for Good West Michigan

Speaking of downstate, the week before The Ocean Blue, I’ll be in GR for Code for Good West Michigan! It’s a (very long) weekend starting at 5 p.m. on Friday and lasting until about 3 p.m. on Sunday where techy people donate their time and expertise to help non-profits. I did it last year and it was a lot of fun. My team stayed close to midnight both Friday and Saturday night, and our web developer worked at home until the wee hours on both nights. We killed it in our presentation.

While the weekend was good and productive, the depressing part is about six months later, I checked our non-profit’s website, and they hadn’t used it yet. It remained the same shell we handed off to them. I was irritated because that site would have cost you thousands; you got it for free, and you’re not using it? Fuck you then, my guy.

So yes, two weekends downstate in November. Should be fun.

Speaking of travel…

This upcoming weekend (from when you receive this), Mr. Lisa, Thursday the pug, and myself are heading to KY for our 2x a year sojourn to pick up some more stuff. The list is mainly small items like my other Apple Watch charger and Mr. Lisa needs some SSDs, and also another pair of spare glasses. The big item in this trip is our two drawer filing cabinet and the printer. We’re going to be in KY for less than two days. Works for me!

Pay me what I’m worth

It’s still Tuesday and I just got off the board meeting with a writer’s group I’m scheduled to teach four workshops for them next year and their base payment is 1/2 of what other groups’ pay me. And it’s infuriating because I spend a lot of time and energy into those workshops and I’m constantly working on them so they are always current. And that fucking group has tens of thousands of dollars in their coffers. How in the living fuck are you not going to pay me what I’m worth? And yep, sure did say that in the meeting as well. The board needs to discuss it privately before committing an answer and I have told them directly that if they are not willing to meet my minimums, then my classes can be canceled.

ALSO! There is a board member that I want to burn down. When I did social media for this group, she would fight me on all of the BS she thought was appropriate for social media so I asked her if she wanted to do it? (Of course not.) Anyway, she kept shaking her head as I spoke and I called her out on that, too. Fuck that bitch.

Anyway, look at that!

Mr. Lisa and I are watching Love is Blind US after watching too many wholesome Japanese dating shows. I need the mess, not emotionally stable people.

Til next time!

lisa x