A Most Unreliable Narrator Issue #119 Faceplant
I do not recommend it.
Welcome to A Most Unreliable Narrator, the slice-of-life newsletter of GenXer around town, Lisa Rabey. I talk about anything and everything with a bit of swears. I’m glad you’re here.
Dear Internet,
A bit over a week ago, J and I were enjoying the nice weather by talking a walk around the subdivision.
Then I tripped.
We drove to the local ER, about 25 minutes from the cabin, where we were there for nearly five hours.
Seven stitches in my mouth and three on my nose. No broken teeth, nose, or bone. Eyes also escaped injury.
A few days later, I’m looking a lot better but with two added black eyes.
My lips have gone down from the look of over the top lip filler to somewhat normal though my bottom lip remains a bit plush. (I’m okay if my bottom lip remains a bit plump; just not obviously so.)
Eating has been difficult as I can only tolerate soft foods like soup, ice cream, and mac and cheese. Last night, we had bean burritos and that was difficult to consume since who knew how much of your front teeth and lips you needed to eat so I was cutting things up. I’m also drinking a lot of water since I can’t tolerate anything with added ingredients. Plus, I swish water about to clean anything left over from eating. I have a rinse I use after breakfast and before bed. Brushing my teeth requires some subtle movements since anything in the front is painful.
(As I write this, I’m eating a turkey and provolone sammich which I must tear up into bite sized pieces or else it hurts too much.)
I drink water on the side of my mouth and the same with some liquid meals like soup.
I took Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday off from work because I was so uncomfortable with the pain and since I had to wear my glasses further down my nose, it made it difficult staring at a computer screen.
I’m fine.
I have an appointment with a local GP next week to look at my wounds and pull out any stitches that didn’t dissolve. The facial scraps and scratches are clearing up rapidly, which I’m generally shocked. Good job, body!
While my face was jacked and there may be light scarring, I think more about how much more interesting my face is going to be as I get older. I have stories to tell about what happened, even if there is a bit of a stretch, which is better than not having experiences at all.
(To wit: When I was in my early 20s, I slipped on a patch of ice which necessitated a double fractured and dislocated right ankle. I told people for a long time I got it doing dangerous things. Much sexier things. Saying you slipped and fell on ice is not sexy. I would eventually cough up to the truth but spinning a tale was far more fun.)
I’m still beautiful even with all the scars, scratches, and stitches.
Things I Recently Wrote
If you read #97.5, you’ll recall I’ve ditched the We’ll Read Anything Once (Twice If We Like it) book review blog for a newsletter of the same name.
What I’m Reading
FINISH A FUCKING BOOK LISA BEFORE STARTING A NEW ONE.
Glenarvon Byron’s ex-lover was so distraught about their breakup; she wrote a roman à clef about their relationship
Dapper Dan: Made in Harlem The story of a legendary designer who pioneered high-end streetwear
Shades of Milk and Honey (Glamourist Histories #1) If Jane Austen wrote fantasy
Crime and Poetry (A Magical Bookshop Mystery #1) Cozy mystery with bookshop as the background
The Battle of Villa FIorita Two English children travel to Italy to save their family
White Trash Warlock (Adam Binder #1) Adam has powers he’d like to forget but can he save his family without them?
Firekeeper’s Daughter Danuis discovers her town is keeping a lot of secrets
Lords and Ladies (Discworld #14 / Witches #4) The elves are back and this time they don’t want just your teeth
Want to see what I’m reading or watching? Check out my list for 2022!
Wonderful Thing
On a whim recently, Brendan sent me an assorted batch of teas from Red Blossom including oolong and black tea. There was also a pouch of Moroccan Mint. He thoughtfully included a tea seeping cup.
Now I like tea. I like tea a lot but you gotta understand my version of tea is buying Twinnings or Barry’s (EU tea brands) and that’s how I feel fancy. Now, Brendan has upped the game and I even went so far as to get a fancy kettle that has the water temp indicator to make proper tea.
Now that I’m a fancy tea drinker, I’m looking forward to trying a plethora of teas around the world.
lisa x
(Fuck fascists and Nazis!)
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