Your Girl Is Tired
Today hasn’t been a great day.
For one thing, I’m stressed out about The Horrors (politics, fueled by assholes). Truly, there are days it just gets to me. Today is one of those days, and…ooooof.
For another thing, some daily life shenanigans (really unnecessary stuff) just spun me out and tanked my mood. These were things that would’ve bothered me on a good day, but on a bad day? I had a little cry about it. I ate some candy. Did either of those things help? I don’t know. But they didn’t hurt. (I’m not a huge candy person, and I love the stuff from Sweet Day.)
Bad days and bad mood happen. The bad moods pass. They always do. But in the moment? Sweet fancy mother of mercy, it’s hard. It’s frustrating, too, because I don’t like being sad or cranky or irritated. I don’t like feeling stuck and undervalued. All of that at once? Not great, bob.
I try to point out joys where I find them, because maybe they make someone else smile. (That is very important to me and germane to who I am.) But I also try to be mindful of noticing them regularly, so I don’t careen into a jibbering heap of human sadness. I tend to be a riot of sunshine, but even I have my days.
So, noticing the small joys—pretty snow, a hair appointment—is helpful. And I believe that joys should be shared, even the silly little ones. We’re all going through it. Why not go through it together? Doesn’t that make it all easier? I think it does. I think that’s why we have people.
A friend remarked recently that my first questions are almost always, “What do you need? How can I help?” And they are 100% sincere. I want to help. I want to be there. If I ever ask you these things, I mean it. And I hope those in my life know it.
I do think that people who ask those questions of others need the same in return. Not that there’s a ledger or tally, but simply that it’s easy to forget in the rush of life. It’s easy to forget that we all have bad days, things we don’t talk about. That sometimes, a small gesture—or a big one—means everything, maybe more than you know.
Literally between when I was drafted this and now, I fetched a very sweet surprise Valentine that a friend sent me in the mail. And I really cannot overstate how much that made me smile. Because it proved my point—kind things really do matter. She’s a good one, and I feel lucky in my people.
That’s something I’ve been thinking on a lot, lately. Life is enriched by those we share it with, near and far. And man, I really have lucked out. Sincerely.
Love to all who need it. XOXO
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