Weirdos Unite!
You’re never gonna be too weird for me.
I said this to a friend, the other day. It’s true. I like weird. I like authenticity. I like people to feel comfortable being themselves, because yes. I’m a quirky little human, who genuinely likes getting to learn/know people. I want to know what makes you tick, what makes you you. Because doing so allows me to understand someone better. And that means I can show them care in the way they need. That is—as cheesy as it sounds—my jam.
Learning details about someone—what they need what they feel overwhelmed or when they need hugs vs. space—is like a lightbulb moment for me. We’re all different. We all have quirks and flaws and difficult bits. But figuring out someone’s love language—even friendly love—is magick. I don't think people are difficult to love, honestly. I think it takes time to learn someone, but it's always worth it.
And I never spend time or attention on someone who doesn’t matter to me. I have learned to value my own limited time and bandwidth. So if I ask how you are, I am really asking. I really want to know. I don't do anything by accident.
If I make an effort to check on you, send you mail, or share some cool thing with you, I care.
If I return your text, I care.
If I send you a DM of something fun/interesting, I care.
I’m 1000% sincere, and I don’t bullshit. I strive to leave zero reason for doubt, because I have been there. I’ve been confused and hurt. And I will not do that. Because it is unkind. And I know how uncertain life can be, and I never want anyone to doubt my affection. Ever.
When I care about someone, I tend to ask a lot of questions. I will listen intently to the answers. You wanna talk about the things that light you up? Yes, please. I honestly live for that kind of conversation. The marrow of it, not the polite small talk. You wanna talk out a plot problem? Figure out how to fix the kitchen sink? I’m in. Because I want to know you, not just the easily perceived parts. All of you. Ironically, I am either the chattiest person you've ever met or the quietest. There is no middle ground.
So, yeah: you’re never gonna be too weird for me. Or too much. Or too anything. You won’t be too little either. I don't keep score or keep track of who did what. (One of my friends and I regularly text each other when we do basic adulting, like put away the laundry or make an important phone call.) Because if you’re in my life, I like you just as you are. Not for what you do or don't do. Not for your job or anything like that.
But for you. And I think, sometimes, we need to hear these things. And if you ever need reminding about any of it, I got you.
PS This is my first time using Buttondown, so if anything looks wonky, apologies! I'll get the hang of it.