This year is winding down, and it has both felt like forever and like I blinked and it’s gone. So much has happened and so much has not. Yet, anyway.

Best Of lists are coming out. Award eligibility posts are happening. People are taking stock, sharing what they’re proud of, and eyeing the new year with hopeful trepidation.

For me, I always decide two things, as the new year approaches: what I’m going to leave behind and what I’m going to call in.

I know what I’m leaving behind, already. It’s an old story, an old idea. Something that doesn’t fit the person I am now, even though I carry that version of myself in my heart. That story is all layers and old ghosts, and it does not serve me in the least. But now I can look at it with grace for what it was and for what it is. And that brings with it a particular kind of peace. (Sometimes, that peace is edged with sadness. But that’s not something to shy away from—it’s a feeling, like all the others.)

What am I going to call it? The easy answer is, always, love. Because love is its own call and response. Love is the entire fucking point of everything. And for that, my door is wide open. Despite life’s mess and setbacks.

Love itself is never work. Loving someone is easy. Relationships are work, but they shouldn’t feel hard or like a chore. They should feel like curious exploration. Sometimes, you’ll go left and discover, oops, wrong direction! And ultimately, that is okay—because perfection is a bullshit myth and not something to aspire to.

Love is, to my mind, steadiness. Care when things are difficult. Asking and really listening. Understanding, not agenda. And softness, when the world feels like it is full of knives.

This year, I have (in my own way) let myself be vulnerable. Asked questions, let people in. Approached everything as gently as I can. Doing that has made me feel both loved and safe—two things I do not take for granted.

Here’s to more gentleness and brightness and love. Softness when it is needed most and, perhaps, less expected. Here’s to making plans and showing up. To sharing and adventures. To loving each other as we are, and learning along the way.

What are you leaving behind and what are you calling in?

If you’re nominating for the Rhyling, Nebula, or Hugo awards, please consider my eligible poetry! One poem is cowritten with my darling Kambriel, who is one of the best humans. I am lucky.

Sweet Day is having a buy two, get one free sale. You or someone in your life can use some delicious candy. Trust me.

Please take five minutes to call your senators about KOSA, if you’re in the U.S. There’s a short script linked in the post. It is important.

My friends at The Peculiarity Shop are making amazing jewelry. Buy the shinies!

“Gate A-4” by Naomi Shihab Nye has long been a favorite of mine. It’s uplifting and beautiful—and it reminds me of an experience I had, once. The only time I’ve accepted food from a stranger.

Benoit Blanc goes to Sesame Street!