May 29, 2025

Small Joys and Good People

It’s been a weird week. Couple of weeks? Whatever. The weird is real. Today, it’s raining for what feels like the millionth day in a row. It’s the kind of rain that’s just cold and damp, despite it nearly being June.

But I’ve lit a candle (watermelon) and done a bunch of little bits of self-care, as the day moves forward on slightly soggy feet.

On days like this, the hot coffee tastes a little better. The cat snuggles hit a little warmer. And the various conversations haul a little more joy out of every corner.

It strikes me that I am lucky. I am lucky in where I am at right now, what I’m reaching toward, and who is in my life. Truly mean that with every bone in my body.

Does that mean life isn’t frustrating? No. Does that mean all my relationships aren’t complicated? No. But every person in my life is here, because they want to be—wholeheartedly. And that’s a gift I don’t take for granted.

Recently, I was thinking on an old conversation from another lifetime ago, where someone told me that I was stressful at the worst possible moment in the worst possible way. No one in my life had ever told me that—and no one has since. I’m a lot of things, but stressful? Ouch.

It was also a way to displace blame and generally be an asshole. And one thing I’ve come to realize in the vast space between then and now is that my relationships are far better, far deeper, and less full of emotionally shallow nonsense.

I am a lot, but I’m also kind and caring and loving—and the person who wants you to call or text them when you’re having a bad day. My friend Erica is constantly tell me how much she values me, and I cannot explain what that simple gesture means to my heart. (LOVE YOU, BITCH.)

Hell, one of my dearests dedicated a POEM to me, and I am still like…that happy tap dance dogs do when they are SO happy they don’t know what to do with their feet? That.

One friend oftens tells me I’m beautiful—and I (for once, internally) do not fight the compliment and argue. Another says he appreciates me and rather sweetly tells me that I am kind.

It’s one thing to know that, but it’s another thing to have it affirmed, out loud, by someone who matters a hell of a lot.

So, yes, things are weird. And a lot of it is outside of my control. There are curveballs and unknowns. But there are good humans in my life who help the soggy, sullen days brighter. And I hope that I say that enough to them, directly, because we so often hear and internalize the bullshit that it can be hard to absorb the good stuff.

Absorb the good stuff. Tell people all the good things. We often wait until the right moment—but darlings, there is none. There’s just right now. You never know how much a kind, sincere word or gesture can light up someone’s day or chase away a bit of a difficult past.

I’m certainly a lot. But I know myself. And I am good with who I am. So if anyone tells me I’m too much these days, they can go find less.