The older I get, the more I realize that actively showing feelings/care matters.

You can assume someone knows that you care or even how much. But, really, do they? Do they know it in the marrow of their bones?

I think it’s far too easy in life to believe/absorb the bad stuff. To let the sly or snide comments slip under our skin and fester. To feel the remnants of old aches in the worst possible moments. Because hurt sometimes lingers, doesn’t it? Even when you’re over it, it can creep back in like an unwanted houseguest, with an aim toward thievery.

Once, many years ago, someone derisively told me I care too much, that I bring feelings into it. It being whatever conversation we were having, as if feelings are a bad thing. As if having feelings were a bad thing.

Which, you know, anyone who has known me for all of three seconds realizes that I am all feelings. A hurricane with a heartbeat. In that moment, it hurt. Now, I know that’s one of my assets: I give a damn.

Always. Even when it’s not convenient.

And in giving a damn, I show up, as best as I can, as often as I can. Even if it’s just a “hey, good luck at your appointment today” text. Even if it’s a “hey, how’s your week? Tell me something good.” message.

I think there’s something magical about the people who love us as we are. In my case, a messy, double-texting, CareBear who will occasionally bite. In my case, an absolute dork who doesn’t wait for someone else to text or who never cares about looking cool, because fuck cool.

I love small kindnesses and gestures. This week, a lovely friend offered to send me some of her sourdough starter, if I wanted to use it for baking. My whole face lit up like a goddamn Christmas tree. (Could she see that? No. But I beam, nonetheless.)

I value people who show up to a relationship with sweetness and kindness. I’ve never been a person who cares what someone can do for me. Frak that. Unimpressive. I value people for who they are. Show me your heart. Be loving and thoughtful. Make me feel seen and cared for, and I will absolutely stay by your side for life.

I think what I’m trying to say is: show people you care. Every chance you get. And when you don’t get what you need, it’s okay to leave.

XOXO

Bits and Bobs

• Mike Chen’s new book cover just dropped, and hot damn, it’s a good one.

• Are you nominating for the Hugo Awards? I’ve got poetry for you to consider. Links in thread here. I am very, very proud of the work I did last year, and it’d mean the world to me if you’d give it a read and/or consider nominating it.

• Ace Ratcliff’s new story is out, and it’s brilliant.

• David Barnett has a new horror novel out! It’s on my Kindle as I type this.

  PS If there are typos, I am tired. HUSH.