Plot Twists and Expectations
It’s easy to hold on to things too tightly because of feelings, be it deep love or fear. The natural inclination to hold tight to what has meaning to us—to who means something to us. It’s all too easy to get stuck in the narrative loop of what we want. Or need. Or hope for.
But over the years, one thing I’ve learned—perhaps finally, after many mistakes—is that you can’t hold on so tightly. Because that’s how you drown. You cling and you sink, and then everything you thought you wanted disappears. Sometimes, too, you disappear. It’s messy. That kind of losing.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about orbits—not in terms of gravity. Because people do, sometimes, have their own gravity, and you drift in and out of it, rhythmically, the way waves move. It’s tidal and like a heartbeat. But in this case, I mean orbit in terms of access—who gets let in, who doesn’t. Who earns that privilege and, sometimes, who loses it?
For me, there are always lines you can’t cross. Betray my trust, and that’s something neither of us come back from. Pretend to listen to me and value me, using all the right words—but lack any real commitment or depth? No thank you—my time and attention are valuable. As Olivia Pope once said, “Speaking to me is a privilege.” And there were moments in my life where I’ve forgotten that. But these days? Nope.
I always give the attention that matches the effort—partly based on vibes. Because how someone makes me feel—be it friend or more—matters more than anything else. And I think that being valued and listened to is more important than pretty words or hollow compliments.
I can spot bullshit from three miles away. You cannot flatter a Libra into anything. Roots and fountain and genuineness matter above all else. Does what you say and do feel true? If yes, good. If not, bye.
I used to get stuck on the way I thought things were supposed to happen. But lately, I’ve started doing the opposite: what will be, will be. That doesn’t mean I don’t put in effort. I always do. But it does mean I don’t chase, accept less, or let someone waste my time.
Life is all about surprises. The unexpected. The unlooked for. Sometimes, people drift out of our lives, only to drift right back in. When I care, and when it matters, I’ll always leave the door open. Shine a candle in the window. Be a lighthouse. But that light isn’t for everyone. And it is okay to protect you peace, darlings. To have expectations and standards. To want to receive in return. Not keeping score, but paying attention to how you feel.
You can’t hold on too tightly. You can’t squeeze blood from a stone. Leave the door and your heart open, but remember not everyone will walk through it—and that’s sometimes for the best.
These days, I almost never know what’s gonna happen next, and sometimes, that’s the best part.