This week has, somehow, been both a whirlwind and a haze. I’m currently still in my pajamas as I’m typing this. I’ve got a small list of things that I need to do this morning, but I refuse to rush.

And here we are, on the eve of a new year. Which is, all at once, exhilarating and terrifying, as new things can be. Looking back at this past year, it’s been a bit of chaos and a heaps of wins. Some confusion and heartbreak sprinkled throughout. Politics and bits of the world at large have absolutely gutted me. I’d like to leave the awfulness that snaked through this year behind us all, but.

I can’t remember if I did this last year, but I used to write wishes for the new year. And so, here I am, my nice red candle lit, conjuring love and joy and hope and softness in equal measure.

In the new year, I wish you laughter and softness—the feeling you get when your whole being relaxes around someone. I hope that you achieve things you’ve been hoping for and are gentle with yourself when you hit a wall.

I hope you dance in the rain. Visit a new city you fall in love with. Surprise yourself in good ways. Go on an adventure of some sort—take a train somewhere and haunt a bookstore. Remember, too, that the biggest adventure can be people—who we reach out to, who we let in, who we love.

And speaking of that, love. Open your heart up, hold out a hand. Take a deep breath and leap. Because you never know what’s around the corner. Or who. Sometimes, you fall in love with a stranger. Or someone you’ve known for years. Or, darlings, yourself. Remember to love yourself. It’s important. This world will try to teach you otherwise, and no.

Read books that make you think, cry, laugh, wonder. Write things and make art, even if it’s just for you. Spoiler alert: the best things you make will always be the ones you’re driven to make. Don’t chase what seems cool. Chase what feels real. Damn the rest.

Be gentle with yourself and others. Offer kindness where you can. Be both shield and sword when it’s needed. Protect your people and your peace. Don’t settle. Seriously—do not. No one who settles ends up actually getting what you want.

Celebrate the wins. Yes, even the little ones. They matter. They add up. And they come around the most often.

And, lastly, I hope you get the one particular wish you’ve got nestled in your heart. I hope that you kiss someone who thinks the world of you, just as you are—for who you are. Not what you do. Not what you can do for them. But for who you are, down to the marrow.

May you love and be loved in return. When everything gets messy, that’s what matters most. Who shows up. Who steps in. Who holds out a hand. Who asks how you are and means it. Who checks in. Who wants to know.

May you know and be known, darlings. And remember: you are worth knowing.

XOXO