Love in the Time of...Whatever the Hell This Is
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, it seems inescapable. And while people often get angry or annoyed with the holiday—citing a manufactured day to show love—I am here for any opportunity to show/express love. That, honestly, is my happy place.
A put a handful of valentines in the mail to friends—not as many as I’d like, but time is never as spacious as we need it to be. I started doing that last year, because a) who doesn’t like real mail that’s not a bill and b) who doesn’t like a little bit of love arriving? Perhaps just when we need it to.
I’ve been thinking a lot about that too—how love, in its myriad forms, shows up. How love does not cower or run, even though it can sometimes wobble. Hearts are steady, even when they’re frazzled.
I am someone who loves love, but I really can’t be arsed to pay attention to the wrong person. Dazzle me or frak off. Be the Gomez to my Morticia or no. This means I say no more often than I say yes, and I am frankly okay with that. Life is too bloody short to spend time on mediocre anything. And I rather like my own company. But I’ve prattled on about this all before, so if you’ve been here for a while this is all very boring.
So, let’s talk about love. It has so many shapes, so many different sides. It can be flashy or soft. A quick text, a bouquet of flowers. A this made me think of you. A how are you holding up? when the whole world is sideways.
Love is a feeling, but it is also an action. Love that is just words is simply no better than the wind. It’s hollow, and I’d argue not love at all. Love can make you do crazy things. Love can make you braver, too. Love can’t fix. It doesn’t eradicate the tough times. But it brings light and joy and care. It makes that walk through the darkness a bit better, easier to bear.
I have never had trouble standing by my own heart. But I have seen people who do. Because they’re scared. Because things are messy. Because we all carry every ghost from our past, whether or not we acknowledge them by name. In those moments, too, I would argue that is exactly when love is most important—when the ache is too big for words. When the chaos is too wild to contain.
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, write a love letter. It can be to a friend, if you like. But I think putting down on paper how you see someone, what about them brings you joy, how much they brighten and make better—it matters. Especially now.
It doesn’t have to be perfect. Forget perfect. Make it honest. Make it silly. Make it sincere. But write it down and send it out into the world, because now is not the time to shrink from love. Now is the time to seize it, to lean in, to lean toward.
More love in the world is always, always a good thing.
Speaking of, if you’re into politics at all, chances are you know Celeste Pewter. Well, she could use a little help to get her life into a brighter spot. If you can, please chip in whatever you’re able. Taking care of each other is the whole damn point, right? Right.
Sending love, darlings.