October 3, 2024

Again and Again and Again

Be good to people.

Not superficially. Not looking for some eventual return. Just for the sake of being good to people. Because while things are a mess—figuratively/literally—kindness matters.

This has been an interesting week. For me, personally, not bad. But I’ve seen some people close to me take some hard hits. And there are things that none of us can fix. There are things that none of us can brace or plan for. There are things that none of us can fortify our hearts against.

We love, and we lose. We lose our footing, and find it again. We reach out a hand and wait with indrawn breath to see if someone takes it.

This life is a balancing act, but it is constantly changing. Constantly turning a corner, finding a monster under the bed, finding unexpected love. It’s hard and gorgeous and messy.

And yet, we surround ourselves with beauty and joy. We look up at the stars and marvel. We make the perfect up of tea or coffee and savor the first few sips as an ordinary miracle, a small joy. We create art and chaos. We strive for wonder and wildness—and yet, roots and solid ground, too.

Again and again and again, we love. Despite the aches from the past. Despite all the reasons why not. Somehow, we find ourselves again, a new version, a new creation—a choice we have made to be truer to ourselves. Freer, perhaps. Geuine, for certain.

Always, the world turns again. There is a new adventure, a fresh horizon. The stillness of a foggy morning or the delightful rush of a cooler breeze, heart ready for fall.

Yesterday, I thought about a decision and wondered if I was weird. Then I remembered, I am weird and that’s part of my charm. Never shrink yourself for anyone else. Never entertain the idea of being less to make yourself more palatable. Let anyone who doesn’t want to swallow you whole choke on it. (Are there more eloquent ways of phrasing that? Yes. I did not choose them.)

I have, on occasion, made a full mess of things. But those moments where I lean fully into who I am are not mistakes. Mistakes are wearing two mismatched socks. Backing into a garbage can. Getting someone the wrong coffee order.

But to lead with your heart—to be recklessly good in a difficult world—is always the right choice. Don’t mistake me: good can be subjective and relative. It does not mean pristinely perfect. There are always those in your life—or on its outskirts—who will have opinions. They will often bray loudly about it.

But if there’s one thing I know in my marrow, it’s this: being good those in your life is always the correct decision. Being unfailingly, ridiculously caring can be hard. Some people might think you’re silly. You know what? There are worse things than being silly. Or too caring. Or loudly, irrevocably joyous.

This morning, I pulled the Ace of Cups from the Wild Unknown Deck. This card is significant to me, for reasons. It is a card of love—of true feeling. It is a one that revitalizes and restores. Carry that with you—the promise of wine, the promise of love, the promise of filled cups and hearts.