All Saints Gazette: Stars, Dreams, and Not Going Back to Herod
We respond to the recent abuse revelations in our sister church, and also give you some opportunities to connect this week.
This Week at All Saints Amsterdam:
Thursday: Evening Prayer at 18:00 on Zoom
Every Monday t/m Friday: Morning Prayer at 9:00 [note time correction], Evening Prayer at 18:00, both on Zoom
No Service this Sunday; next service is 1 December
For Zoom events, the links are here: https://allsaintsamsterdam.church/calendar/
Source: https://ncartmuseum.org/object/rachel-weeping-for-her-children-jeremiah-3115/
[CW: sexual abuse and cover-up: I mark in bold where the CW ends]
Dear Friends,
Before I proceed any further, I would like to share with you why the topic I must discuss is especially difficult for me to talk about, with the result that this letter has taken a bit longer than it probably should have: I am a survivor of sex abuse by a pastor. This happened when I was a teenager, and the perpetrator was a lay pastor of a Methodist church near mine in central Missouri. He created a position in which he was in the gaps in the structures of accountability as they existed in the 1990s. I have spoken of this quite openly when I have thought that the occasion warranted it, though I have not done so recently or since coming to All Saints. If you are also a survivor and this just isn’t the day for you to read about this, feel free to save it for later. Now, to the matter at hand.
You know the story of the Magi. When Jesus was born, "wise men [they might have included women] from the East" sought him out to pay him homage. They were guided by a star. When they went to Jerusalem and started asking around, they came to the attention of Herod the "Great," a Roman client king. His advisors figured out that the Messiah would be from Bethlehem, so he sent the magi there to find him with instructions to return to him so he could also go pay his respects.
The Gospel tells us that they were warned in a dream not to return to Herod. They probably already had a bad feeling about him, and it was kind of an open secret that he was a murderous creep. There was no one they could report him to, and it would have made sense to just follow instructions, play by the rules of the jurisdiction they were in, etc. Besides, their warning really might have been just a dream.
If they had done the safe, obvious thing, the sort of self-preservation thinking that is so tempting to all institutions (“institution-brain,” I call it), we may assume that Jesus would have been murdered as an infant. But stars, dreams, and divine children sent them "home by another way."
Many of you have probably seen that the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Most Rev. Justin Welby, resigned last week after a report became public which detailed his and the Church of England’s handling of a notorious sexual predator. The abuser (I choose not to use his name) was a wealthy lawyer who was able to self-fund an evangelical summer camp ministry. It was well-connected and well-regarded, and several future bishops were involved, either as campers or staff. He used this position to brutally abuse boys that were in his care. This began in the 1970s and 80s.
This abuse became known to some and suspected by others, but the abuser was protected. Many seemed to have reasoned that what was happening was not in their own jurisdiction. He continued this pattern of abuse for decades, eventually moving his operation to Zimbabwe and then South Africa, where the church and civil authorities do not seem to have been warned, and where he continued to be protected by his connections in government. The perpetrator had over 130 victims in the three countries over the course of the five decades. He died in 2018. Good riddance.
Archbishop Justin was informed about this man in 2013 and, for reasons known only to himself, took no meaningful action. Meaningful action by Archbishop Justin and others likely would have prevented more abuse. But it was always someone else’s problem. Or perhaps we simply could not fathom that such a respected benefactor of the church who supported all the right causes could be an evildoer. Or maybe gentlemen just don’t pry into such things. Maybe he froze due to his own traumas (I could sympathize; it took me a week to start writing this). All I know that is our modern magi did what people who are impressed or intimated by power do and went back to Herod.
This putrid, festering, excrement-fueled dumpster fire of a situation stings really hard because 130 or more children suffered in silence, and because it basically punches us in every vulnerable spot:
The rich and powerful were protected; powerless children were sacrificed.
Institution-brain let everybody who might have stopped this decide it was in somebody else’s jurisdiction, or that the lack of a legal obligation entailed the lack of a moral one.
The institution and many individuals ignored this and other child abuse, but policed the relationships of queer adults and denied them ordination or the unrestricted exercise of their ministries.
The perpetrator was shipped from Europe to Africa to continue his abuse among even more vulnerable people in former British colonies.
By 2013, the Archbishop and other church authorities already had the benefit of decades of learning from the Catholic abuse scandals that had already become public.
A bunch of nice, normal, respectable people (as it happens, mostly straight, white men) who enabled the abuse of 130 children and brought the Gospel into disrepute will have relatively soft landings; and people who are queer, dark-skinned, or just a bit weird and dare to listen to the dream and go home by another way will continue to struggle to find full-time jobs in our churches.
[and I’d like to edit this to say Mpho helped articulate some of these items; getting carried away and forgetting to give credit was a mistake on my part]
All Saints is not part of the Church of England. But we are proudly part of the Anglican Communion of which the Church of England is the mother church, and we will not be content to say that this is someone else’s problem because it happened on someone else’s turf. The Archbishop of Canterbury is an important symbol for us. I continue to pray for him every day, and I encourage you to do the same. Especially in Europe, The Episcopal Church and the Church of England are deeply intertwined, with many of us floating back and forth between the two when we move to new cities. This is not “their” screw up, or “their” problem. In affection and in many practical ways, this is our church.
And yes, stuff like this has happened in The Episcopal Church. I think our policies are now pretty good. But as Bishop Mark noted at convention, privilege is deep in the DNA of our organization. All Saints is indirectly supported by the donations of American business magnates over the last two centuries (for some of our other churches, it’s much more direct). Money and worldly prestige still command a deference that is incompatible with the teachings of Jesus, and institution-brain is a reality of life (not just in churches, of course). We love The Episcopal Church, but we may not for one minute believe that we or it are so good that we do not need to take special measures to protect the vulnerable among us. Nor may we cease for one second to “guard our heart” or interrogate how we are still entwined with the love of the world that leads to things like this.
So what does this mean for us at All Saints Amsterdam? I don’t know. I’m just one person, even if I am a priest. It would be best if you talked and prayed and share with us. But a couple things are non-negotiable:
If Mpho or I, any member the bishop’s committee, or any of you ever become aware of or suspect abuse in our church or any of the churches we are in relationships with, our first call will be to the police.
As part of The Episcopal Church, we have safeguarding policies. For example, we never leave a single adult alone with children at church. These are not just for show.
We listen to what children tell us. We consider them the experts on themselves and their bodies. If a child tells us something is wrong, we stop and fix it.
Anyone who serves in a position of leadership or works with children must complete an online safeguarding training. We ask for everyone’s ungrudging cooperation.
as we grow and develop more of the infrastructure that institutions need (and we are an institution and we do need them), there will be temptations to fall back on institution-brain. But we also have the mind of Christ. Trust it, and speak up when you notice us getting a little too comfortable.
You also have two pastors and a whole bunch of really awesome church members who are ready to listen to you if there’s anything you need to talk about. If these events are triggering and you want to talk to some people who will never quite understand what something is like for you (but also really do kind of understand for reasons already stated), you have our emails and numbers.
Friends, I will conclude simply by saying that I know what it is like when the church goes back to Herod. Going back to Herod is easy, and it’s usually normal and respectable, and we can usually explain it with pious lies. Let’s decide now that that’s not what we’re here to do.
If it seems strange that I as a survivor of abuse in the church am a priest in the church, it’s because Jesus Christ is real and he lives in me. This is where I find the love, power, and prophetic spirit to resist that thing with which the church so often entwines itself. Such is the way of things in this age. In a very real sense, I can’t not be part of the church. I’ve followed the star, I’ve seen the Child. This is who I am, and it is my greatest joy.
But whatever the needs of institutions, I didn’t seek God in a manger just so I could carry on with business as usual. Whatever we do, let’s not do that. Because if you’re the sort of person who follows a star to meet a miraculous child, you might do well to also follow a dream home.
This has been very hard to write, and I know it’s long. Thank for you reading.
Blessings,
Kyle+
[End Content Warning]
Thursday Program this Week
I’m just going to do Evening Prayer for our Thursday program this week, and it will be fairly brief. Mpho is doing God’s work in North Carolina this week, and Verena is doing it in Boston and New York, so I’m alone with both you and my kids!
Thanksgiving Next Week
Start time TBA (early evening), but we’re going to have dinner together at Vrijburg and be thankful. Potluck style, and you don’t have to bring typical American Thanksgiving food, though you’re welcome to. Giving thanks enables survival and transforms literally anything. (“Giving Thanks” coming soon to a prayer lab near year.)
The Daily Office (i.e. Morning and Evening Prayer)
Want to pray more but have trouble starting? Let us help you! Join us anytime you can on Zoom at 9:00 and 18:00, Monday to Friday. My presence at Evening Prayer may be a bit touch and go this week, so start without me if I’m not there. There’s nothing in the Mission St. Clare version of the prayers that has to be done by a priest. You can find it here: https://www.missionstclare.com/english/index.html
Housekeeping
Once a few details are in order with EU privacy law compliance, we’ll have a formal way for you to join the church if you want. We will also need to have a more formal parish meeting than was possible on Sunday. Each year, we propose a slate of bishop’s committee officers to Bishop Mark. Consider whether you might be called to serve, and ask Mpho, me, or a current member (Zinzy, Hans, or Erin) if you’d like more information.
Support our Life Together!
Investing in the community we want both helps the church grow and thrive and also blesses the giver! Use the QR code or this link, or make a transfer through your banking app (the latter saves us a few cents). Please consider making your offering recurring.
Bank details
All Saints Amsterdam
IBAN NL32 TRIO 0320 8657 62
BIC TRIONL2U
Prayer Cycles for Next Week (Christ the King and following)
Convocation Prayer Cycle
Church of Christ the King, Frankfurt
Anglican Communion Prayer Cycle
Sunday, 22 November
Appropriately enough, the Church of England. Please do pray for our friends. I will also continue praying daily for Archbishop Justin and encourage you to do likewise.
Monday: Diocese of Clogher, Church of Ireland; Tuesday: Diocese of the Coast, Church of Nigeria; Wednesday: Diocese of Cochin, Church of South India; Thursday: Diocese of Coimbatore, Church of South India; Friday: Diocese of Colombia, The Episcopal Church; Saturday: Diocese of Colombo, Church of Ceylon
Home By Another Way
James Taylor, the American folk singer, has a great song inspired by the magi’s return journey. And if you’re looking for a good Christmas/Epiphany-themed children’s book for someone in your life (or yourself), you might consider Barbara Brown Taylor’s book by the same name. As far as I know, the two Taylors are no relation.
That’s all for Today! Want to talk to a priest? We want to talk to you too!
Website: https://allsaintsamsterdam.church
Mpho: mpho@allsaintsamsterdam.church
Kyle: kyle@allsaintsamsterdam.church
General: info@allsaintsamsterdam.church
Instagram: @allsaintsamsterdam.church
