Sad news: Izzy is no more. But do not weep, for she lived a long life, full of eating and sleeping and plotting the death of  the latest dog in our lives. She emerged victorious over Charlie (RIP), then Hazel (RIP), and boy did she want to outlive Leo, but everyone’s luck runs out eventually, and hers did this Saturday. 

Honestly, I did not expect to be particularly sad about Izzy leaving. She was, and I say this with love and some admiration, a colossal bitch. Especially as she entered her golden years — my god. Even on her last day, when I woke up to find her sleeping in the center of the dining-room table just surrounded by poop, I was sure she did it out of spite. (“How’s this for a centerpiece, assholes?”) In the (increasingly messy) hours that followed, I was forced to admit maybe it was her health that had taken a free-fall and not her (already shitty) attitude. We took her to the vet, who confirmed there was not much they could do for her. Her kidneys were shot and her sphincter had “failed.” Nothankyou.