Who’s seen Stutz on Netflix? I need you to see it, and talk about it with me. I do not know what to think. I have many questions. Like: Are other people telling their therapists that they love them? Are we doing this now? Who decided it was okay? And: Can you really get your therapist’s life story from them? I thought they kept that to themselves? Am I being a jerk by not asking my therapist more about his life? I know this that the Stutz/Jonah Hill relationship is an unusual one, and Stutz (I’ve already forgotten his first name) isn’t a typical therapist (what therapist agrees to let his patient make a movie about him?). But boy, do Jonah Hill and his therapist tell each other they love each other a lot. It made me wonder if I’m doing therapy right. It’s impossible to know! When I ask my therapist he just says things like, “Hmm, I wonder why you feel you need to do therapy ‘right’.” Infuriating.

I had a therapist a while back who was also seeing a friend of mine, and this friend LOVED the therapist and talked all the time about how much they laughed together, how she was like her BEST FRIEND. And this very same therapist seemed to … dislike me? As if that’s possible? I’m charming. But I would try to joke with her and she would sort of wince, and comment on how I was avoiding the topic with humor. I couldn’t even get a chuckle out of her.

Anyway my current therapist laughs at my jokes. (Take that, old therapist.) But I don’t see us exchanging “I love you”s any time soon. I would, however, like him to make drawings for me on index cards. (That’s a Stutz thing. You need to see Stutz! It’s actually a sweet movie, if I think a little bananas. See it and talk about it with me.)