Several years ago—I can’t exactly remember the joke, so forgive the paraphrase—the comedian Jen Kirkman did a bit about ghosts; she was afraid of a ghost sneaking up on her in her home so her solution was to twirl and twirl. I keep thinking of this lately because my solution to being shocked and upset by the news is to look at the news all the time because then I won’t be surprised. But of course I’m still surprised, because it’s surprising, and not in a good way (in case that was unclear?). I’m twirling and twirling to face the news and it’s always shocking me. And to top it off, I’m dizzy and sick.

I wanted to acknowledge that I feel bad, and also that you probably do, too, and you can. That is an appropriate response to what’s going on, and I will allow it.

There seems to be a lot of good—and if not good, at least well-meaning—advice about what we should do with our upset. Call your representatives! Mobilize locally! Turn outrage into outreach! And sure, sure, yes. Good ideas, all. We should do those things. But also. Also. Can we feel bad, too? I feel like many people are so overwhelmed and helpless that they’re grasping at action steps and bypassing the acknowledgment of grief and frustration and the urge to kick certain politicians right in their fucking veneers. Because holy shit this sucks.