It's all the Tiny Pretty Things you love...
I binged watched this show in a malaise of sadness and here we are… Still recovering from it.
Honestly, what a rollercoaster of a thing this show turned out to be. If you wanted Pretty Little Liars at a ballet school with MORE fucking, you’re in the right place.
Seriously… The amount of gratuitous sex (from minors??) in this show is a marvel. There’s nothing too explicit (only a boob or two), but that doesn’t prevent the boys from sticking their heads in between each others legs and sucking their inner thighs to imply… you know…
While we all know I’m here for sexually overwrought depictions of the teenage experience, the student teacher sex was off putting to say the lest. I don’t understand why they could’ve just set this in a college? That would’ve made this MUCH less icky.
While I did love Topher being a ballet master who could totally slap my calves, my toxic crush of the show is Bayardo De Murguia as Ramon Costa. Sorry, we love a man who just GRABS a bulge, and sleeps with everyone on the age spectrum (though again… WHY THE STUDENTS?!) Also, the fact that he was SO obsessed with Topher being in love with him even after Topher was like “I’m totally over it” was some of the funniest fodder for “dramatic tension”.
Now that I’ve complained about my problems with the portrayal of sex in this show, I can focus on how truly insane the performances are in this show.
Like, there’s Ryan Murphy acting, then Shonda Rhymes acting, Soap acting, and then at the stop stands whatever the fuck this director chose to do. Lauren Holly (Oakville QUEEN) was just trying to be Dominique Jackson, but was like “fuck it, even less nuance!” (I love Ms Jackson, and she’s the highlight of Pose and don’t mean to imply she has no nuance… But you know, baroque acting!)
June Park is the queen of backstabbing everyone at the whims of whoever tells her someone is “bad”. She also loves dance so much, but is… fine at it. This poor girl can’t catch a break at this school and makes all the wrong moves!
Shane is so h*rny for attention he treats himself and everyone around him like trash. He also coerces his roommate into sleeping with him which… Questionable. He also just fully starts a relationship with an adult and it’s like… YOU CAN’T DO THAT!!
Caleb… Caleb, Caleb… One day you’re gonna learn that America isn’t the greatest country on earth and get over your hero complex. Also, STAY AWAY FROM THAT HEADMASTER OMG!!!
Oren is such a weird toxic character that gets redeemed??? They were really flippant about his deeply abusive eating disorder. It was portrayed as a “quirk”, but that man needs serious help and Shane isn’t going to do it anymore now that he has a proper adult boyfriend. ALSO, is he gay? Bi? Questioning? A Victim?! I cannot tell, and that’s what makes his character so confusing!!
Bette is, and will always be, the queen b of awful high school bullies. She’s a ruthless, sassy, sympathetic drug addicted fantasy that has no moral compass. TBH, truly feel sorry her mother is the absolute worst, but also doesn’t give you the right to treat other people like absolute trash.
Neveah, the titular character (her name is Neveah “Tiny Pretty Things” Stroyer) has absolutely no idea what she entered into when she came to this god forsaken school. But even though she fumbles every now and again, she absolutely destroys everything and we absolutely love to see it.
Nakil is the only character that is at all good. Like sure, he was a little creepy and intense, but he was also a man who got cheated on and then stayed with his girlfriend all the way into the coma? Also, he’s Muslim and everyone is like “ew weird, this is a CHRISTIAN school!” Like… Christian in the way that everyone is contradictory about their beliefs.
[SPOILER WARNING]
I loved the ending, where Cassie was just a total bitch who also wanted revenge. Like here’s this girl who’s been narrating the show, and she ends up being the worst one of all the students. But to be fair, they did HEAVILY establish that no one liked her.
Delia being the one who pushed her was actually quite the twist. Especially after Ramon gave Cassie that CRAZY “Tiny Pretty Things” monologue in her hospital room! I’m not going to rewatch this show to figure out what kind of hints they left that it was her… Because I don’t want to torture myself any further.
The craziest twist was probably that June Park is Ramon’s secret daughter?! Like, where the actual fuck did that come from??? June’s mom is one sneaky mother!
The addition of a child sex-trafficking ring was… an interesting choice. I mean, I would’ve loved a slimy older business mogul to finance my arts career in exchange for an over the dress fingering (done way more for way less), but I’m also sick and need help.
All and all, I’m going to be waiting on bated breath for this second season. I love dramas that just throws itself balls-to-the-wall in scandal! If this is what being an arts Gen Z teen means then I can only pray for our future generations.
Also, this was filmed at the Royal Conservatory of Music in Toronto and features a lot of GTA actors… FUN!