016 - Do You Break These Unspoken Meeting Etiquette Rules?
Last week I posted a tweet asking for advice on how to deal with someone that has flaked on 2 previously scheduled zoom calls and it really seemed to spark a nerve on a lot of people. I highly recommend going through the replies and reading some of the really great responses in there - they span super sassy to passive aggressive, and they are all awesome responses!
It got me reflecting on what meeting etiquette looks like, especially in the context of being a founder and juggling numerous meetings with having blocks of productive hours. In addition to that, how has meetings changed since we’re no longer meeting in person.
What Scheduling Looked Like Before
In the good ol’ days, before we had phones, if you setup a meeting you didn’t really have an easy way to cancel or let the other person know if you’re running late. You kinda had to show up, making it somewhat socially unacceptable to be late or flake on a person.
Moving forward in time to the pre-covid era, we have access to smartphones which made it easier to stay connected. What it also meant is that it’s now easier for folks to send updates like “I’m running late” or “I’m not going to make it”. The introduction of smartphones made it significantly easier to communicate your status and let the other person know if you’re running late or won’t make it. This is really helpful, however some people still flake and don’t bother letting you know.
What Does Scheduling Look Like today
In todays world, most meetings (especially for founders meeting users, investors, advisors etc) are happening digitally using tools like Zoom (video conferencing) and Calendly (scheduling). Calendly is an extremely powerful tool because it not only let’s other people book time with you, but it also let’s them cancel or reschedule without necessarily having to email you again. This reduces the amount of communication needed, allowing you both to focus on your own things and just show up to the meeting.
Sounds pretty great, right! Well… I took a quick look at some of the busier days of back-to-back meetings, and found that on average, 1/3 of those meetings end up getting rescheduled or the person just doesn’t show up. As a founder that’s trying to juggle building my product along with scheduling user interviews, investor meetings and chatting with advisors, having 1/3 of my meetings not show up is a huge waste of my time. If I have back to back meetings and 1/3 of them get cancelled, then my calendar looks like swiss cheese, where the gaps aren’t big enough for me to context switch to other work in a productive way. On top of that, I could have met someone else in the slot that was cancelled, so it’s a lost opportunity as well.
Little Comment On People Not Showing Up
Before anyone replies to this email and says some people have last minute emergencies that they can't avoid - yes, I completely agree with you. I am extremely empathetic towards those scenarios, especially since they’ve happened to me a few times as well. A general rule I follow is to assume that a person doesn’t have malicious intents and that things just happen sometimes.
What I do want to highlight, however is the communication aspect - if you know you can’t make something, that’s fine, just let whoever you’re meeting know as soon as possible so they can adjust their plans. The tools we have access to today make it really easy to update someone in these scenarios. If you didn’t have a chance to let the person know before the meeting, then make sure you send an apology as soon as possible.
However if this behavior becomes a pattern, where the same person is consistently flaky and doesn’t have a reason, then as the meeting host (and as a founder) you need to protect your time.
Unspoken Etiquette We Should Follow As The Meeting Host (Especially As A Founder)
- Use tools like Calendly! There are so many advantages to it! If you’re worried about offending someone else, then consider adding a message like
To save us some back and forth, feel free to select some time on my calendar or let me know alternate times that work for youwhen you send the Calendly link. - Don’t get offended by Calendly links! It surprises me that some people get offended by them when what they’re really doing is avoiding sending 5+ emails back and forth to schedule a time to talk.
- When setting up your Calendly, don’t set your availability as the whole day. Figure out what hours in the day you’re more productive and which hours you’re generally able to schedule meetings, and then set those as your availability. If you set your entire day as available, I guarantee you your calendar will look like swiss cheese and you’ll be wasting a lot of time context switching
- Add custom questions to your Calendly so that you have context on what the meeting is about.
- Really important- add a field asking for a persons preferred pronoun.
Unspoken Etiquette We Should Follow As The Meeting Attendee (Especially As A Founder)
- Don’t get offended if someone sends you a Calendly link. It saves so much time!
- If there are additional questions like “what are we meeting about”, fill them in! It’ll help both you and the founder remember why you’ve set the meeting, rather than having to hunt down the conversation in your emails or via slack
- If you need to reschedule, do it as early as possible. This let’s the meeting host get their timeslot back, letting someone else potentially get that timeslot instead. Additionally, you don’t need to divulge in any personal details, but including a very brief explanation of why you’re rescheduling (or cancelling) can be helpful
Conclusion
The tools we use in today’s world make it really easy for us to reschedule meetings. It’s ok for someone to reschedule once, especially if they provide a reasonable explanation. However if it becomes a pattern then it’s worth considering how important that meeting is especially compared to the lost productivity time or slots that could have been available for someone else instead.
Be respectful of both your time and the other person’s time. Communicate if changes need to happen and do your best to show up on time.
Have your own etiquette best practices? Let me know! I’m always looking to up my etiquette game and be more productive!
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- Hype Docs - the best way to combat imposter syndrome
- Extra Founder - really great community, and a way to trade skills with other founders to help launch your products faster. P.S. They’ve got perks like an Airtable discount, as well as a coupon for Hype Docs!
- The Moving Roadmap Podcast - a lot of people are thinking about moving. Here’s a great podcast that shares stories of folks who have moved, and what that process looks like.
- Clear Career - looking for a job? Izzy is hosting a course on how to build your career. He’s an incredible human and has given me so much amazing advice in the past! Highly recommend this course!