The Christmas TV Strategy Guide 2020
It's Christmas Eve Eve! Hopefully you can feel the excitement building as you get ready to welcome the Jolly Fat Man down your chimney
1015 - BBC1
A good Christmas film that will be affected by your tolerance of Marc Wootton. See, because he voiced Jake in The Tweenies, if his voice hits the right pitch it gives me proper Nam flashbacks and the films off right there and then
1345 - BBC1
Here we go, a proper full on dose of 80s nostalgia with luck dragons and songs full of whimsy. Not sure if it's aged that well in places but still worth a go
1415 - BBC2
Is Casablanca one of those films? Like there's some stuff that has been absorbed into the popular consciousness so before you see it you've already seen it, if you know what I mean? Whatever, its well worth a go just to soak yourself in the laconic cool of Humphrey Bogart cutting about in great looking hats
1540 - BBC1
The trend of Pixar doing sequels was a bit worrying when they were being announced but at the same time we probably should have trusted in them. After all, Toy Story 2 is one of the best sequels ever made and Finding Dory is a pretty good sequel as well. The great trick Pixar do with their sequels is to not rehash story with the main character of the first film (see Home Alone 2 for the ultimate example of that) but to expand on a supporting character to take the story to new places which is what you get here with Dory as she goes off on another adventure. A treat of a film
1700 - BBC2
The double bill of 70s nostalgia continues with the first two followed up by, of all things, a fishing show. That said fishing show just so happens to be one of the funniest and endearing shows of the last few years makes it a proper highlight of the day
2030 - BBC1
This has been a proper good sitcom, which is of no surprise if you ever watched the cast on Horrible Histories. It's well worth your time watching the first two series if they're still on the iPlayer. The success of this show makes me hope that the team behind I'm Sorry I've Got No Head had the chance to do a brand new show as well
2100 - 5Star
This passed me by initially then saw it on the second go through the Radio Times and it caught my eye; at a family Christmas yeeeeaaaaaars ago we did a proper Roses vs Quality Street head to head with forms to fill in and everything. I can't remember for sure but think Quality Street edged it thanks to the slightly superior strawberry creams, so the results of this show intrigue me
2100 - E4
Everyone loves Bake Off, so you have to don't you? It won't quite have the bite or the tension as it's a one off but a return visit to the tent is always worthwhile
2100 - ITV2
If Christmas is all about family then surely it's time for the ultimate films about family which is the Fast and Furious series. This is the first one with Statham and also the last film to star Paul Walker after his untimely death, something that probably had a hand in turning these films into a billion dollar franchise
2100 - Sony Movies
Here you go, two bland action films to properly veg out to. Seriously, if you just want something on in the background while you wrap presents that isn't a Christmas film then go for these. Both are proper examples of movie wallpaper in both good and bad ways
2250 - Horror Channel
I'm the same age as this film! I can't make heads explode on command though so we all know who the winner is here
2300 - 5Star
Only including this so I can vent about how its a disgrace that this film got two (two!) sequels when the superior White House Down didn't even get one. I mean, I'm a fan of Butler talking in a ropey accent and punching stuff but, come on, we all have our limits
2315 - BBC1
This is very much a Dolly House so getting a full on Dolly Christmas concert is an absolute treat that, I suspect, will be on heavy rotation in the house over the next few days
2315 - Film4
I would argue that this film remains De Niro's greatest comedy performance. It's a great role and he has a great comedy partner in Charles Grodin who nearly steals the show. It's a great example of a genre film elevated by a sharp script and great casting, a list you'd put something like Tremors on as well.