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December 29, 2020

The Christmas TV Strategy Guide 2020

Yep, we finally get to see the back of this crappy year although it's probably best to not bother with TV and play board games but this is a TV strategy guide to we'll have to talk about something

1025 - BBC1

I think this film sums up New Years Eve for me; it's alright and gets the job done but there are much better other family films (holidays) out there that are probably more worth your time

1150 - Channel 4

If there's a movie hill to die on, for some reason this is one I've picked. I'm not sure why, it's a pretty daft silly film but it embraces that daftness and silliness and goes with it in a way that brings you along with it. It's not being snarky or anything like that, it's just a good time and I really enjoy it for that, bad science and nonsensical plot and all

1520 - ITV4

Much better than the remake mainly thanks to a good shouty scenery munching turn by Gene Hackman. Honestly, even in some of the tripe he chose to appear in he was always great and this is up there. Hackman probably makes this the best of that 70s trend of big budget disaster movies

1725 - ITV2

A big bloated CGI filled blockbuster followed by a tight genre parody should make for a good double bill. Yes, it's Hot Fuzz on ITV2 yet again but there is a reason; its a really really good film. King Kong isn't a great film but it's well worth watching, if only to see how Jackson takes original film and nearly doubles the running time but just adding loads of bonkers effects. That bit with the insects though, thats still really properly creepy

2000 - ITV4

The film that proved that Arnie could do comedy on purpose, rather than the things he says just being funny thanks to his wooden delivery. Teaming him DeVito was borderline genius and this probably remains the best of his non-action output

2100 - ITV

The Best Bond? Depends on your age and/or taste I suppose. It's defo the best of the Craig Bond era and a proper return to form after the middling Quantum of Solace. But is it as good as From Russia With Love? Or GoldenEye? Again, depends on the flavour of Bond you prefer

2100 - Paramount Network

Here's one way to see in the New Year; a double bill of Chuck Norris, one from the peak of his 80s heyday and one towards the tail end. When you look into his films you do have to wonder how he became so popular, really he was in the right place at the right time at the start of the VHS boom. When people wanted to see bad guys getting punched in a pre-Arnold world he was the face you looked for on the shelves, because you were guaranteed of a lot of punching in a Chuck Norris film

2315 - Film4

Here's an alternative way to see in the New Year; a cult comedy followed by one of the definitive Horror films. Is it the funnest or best way? Probably not but both are classics in their genres and always worth watching

0055 - Horror Channel

So now you have seen in the New Year, you can prepare for the worst with this film. A proper, gnarly body horror that could easily have appeared in the horror section of a video shop in the 80s. After a rubbish 2020, hopefully this won't go as bad as things do for the cast in this film

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