Look out the window
Drawing and painting keep me alive.
Wow, it has been almost a month! That is too long, therefore this might be a longer read.
April was a whirlwind for me. I visited old friends and made new ones. I got into a few fun group shows, applied to more things, worked on my website.
I received a lot of positive responses from folks about my newsletter. To be honest, that got me nervous. My mind stared at the blank slate and suddenly words were beyond me. So, sorry for the delay but apparently I get easily sideswiped by positive feedback. Haha!
Speaking of blank slates, the above photo is me on my knees painting gesso on a large wooden panel. This gesso is for watercolor and I usually paint several layers, slightly sandpapering in between. This is a regular task I do during my breaks from painting to reset my eyes. I handle the substrate a lot in preparation to create. It’s a necessary step not just technically but mindfully.
I used to think that ‘mindfulness’ was just spacing out. I was that kind of kid, staring at the patterns in the wood paneling. However, my life trajectory changed when I studied to be a massage therapist in my early 20’s. This new knowledge expanded my understanding of human bodies from the restrictive Catholic mindset that I grew up with. It was a revelation to me.
Everyone has a body and we all use our bodies to move in our own way through the world and gather information. It is our lens to the world.
I studied Shiatsu, a form of bodywork, based on Traditional Chinese Medicine that works with the Qi energy or life force. Diagnosis relies on the Five Elements; Earth, Fire, Water, Metal and Wood. Everything about this modality made sense to me. Maybe it is because I am Hawaiian/Chinese, I am not sure. I do know the teaching felt familiar and my hands feel different when I work this way. My father taught me about my Hawaiian culture and I am learning more about my Chinese heritage. My ‘Latest Read’ below has helped me understand the migrations, shifts and policies that created the environment that made me and my family who we are.
Looking at this photo with me kneeling reminds me of when I would prepare for a Shiatsu session. We were taught to iron our white Gi’s, kneel and meditate before class in order to be present. This can be a hard thing to do. It is easy for the mind to wander and focus on outcomes. At those times I can hear my Sensei say, “ look out the window”, to remind us of our posture and raise our heads to feel instead of trying to see. This is often how I approach my work in the studio as well.
One of the fun group shows is opening on Friday. I was invited to show work from my Polaroid Series to celebrate AAPI Heritage Month this May. To be invited feels very significant to me.
Feelings can be overwhelming, even positive ones so I share this news with you to help me stabilize and show up for myself in this way. Balance is always fleeting so I will enjoy it even if it is only a moment. It helps to fill my bucket and allows me to pass it on to others.
Let’s keep it going.
I will connect again sooner.
Latest Read: Strangers from a Different Shore by Ronald Takaki. Buy at your local bookstore or check it out from your local library! Let’s keep libraries busy!
Art Date: A little self promo: UNSEEN HISTORIES at KARL celebrating Contemporary AAPI voices. Opening is this Friday May 9, 6-9pm. 1255 Battery St. SF, CA 94111. Hope to see you there.
Inspiration: OTRA VEZ! Mike Monteiro’s Good News inspired me. You should sign up for his newsletter. He has good words.
Shout Out: My partner Erin and ALL Teachers. It is teacher appreciation week!! They work hard and with heart. Thank a teacher today!
This is #4 of Zoe Ani’s Tidbits & Tangents. You can subscribe or view the archives online.
See my work: ZoeAni Cara.app Bluesky
