Land Of The Free?
A tongue-in-cheek look at the USA’s freedom and liberty from an Englishman’s point of view (a.k.a. the shit that Americans put up with that simply would not fly this side of the Pond)
Americans often take it as read that they are the most free country in the world. Some of them (and don’t get me wrong, every country has its idiots) will actually ask Britons what it’s like to live in a country that isn’t free. But here’s the thing: there are many infringements on personal liberty that Americans seemingly put up that would simply be strangled at birth, were someone to attempt to impose them here.
Don’t believe me? Here’s six examples.
Jaywalking: That is, it being illegal to cross the road. Really? Over this side of the pond, with the obvious exception of motorways (freeways), it’s every Englishman’s right to cross the road, when he damn well wants to, where he damn well wants to. Yeah, if there’s a pedestrian crossing then it’s sensible to use it, but the idea that a pedestrian might simply not be allowed to cross from one side of the road to the other is utterly incomprehensible.
Civil forfeiture: Now to be clear, we do have asset forfeiture in the UK, by which proceeds of crime can be seized. What we don’t have, to the best of my knowledge, is police acting like highway robbers, stopping random members of the public and robbing them of any cash they may be carrying.
HOAs (Homeowners’ Associations): We basically don’t have these, or at least while we might have some similar things for people who own a flat (apartment) within a block, what we don’t have is jumped up petty Hitlers who can sell/take your house for not paying their annual dues even where you didn’t know they existed [YouTube]; order you to repaint a deck at the rear of the house; tell you that you aren’t allowed to pray on your balcony; tell you that you can’t put out your bins after dark and must then pick them up up immediately the rubbish has been collected; tell you where you can and can’t put flower beds in your front garden and what bushes and trees you are and are not allowed to plant; order you to water your yellowing lawn in a drought and then when you submit, have a go at you for using water in a draught; tell you what paint you can and cannot use to paint the exterior of your house; tell you what wallpaper and paint you can use on the interior of your house. And bear in mind that we’re not talking rented property here. All of that is for a house that you own, that’s built on land that you own.
The funny thing is that both the English and American legal systems are based on English Common Law, and both have thus inherited the principle that “an Englishman’s home is his castle”. But where we’ve taken that to mean that you can paint your front door whatever damn colour you like, large sections of the USA have taken it to mean instead that you should be allowed to murder anyone who mistakenly wanders onto your property. (This is known as the Castle Doctrine which, don’t get me wrong, does exist in English law, just with added common sense elements of not taking the complete piss).
Police stops: Now I have to preface this one with the admission that I am speaking from a position of privilege, having been awarded at birth pretty much every privilege card going, including but not necessarily limited to: white privilege, male privilege, heterosexual privilege, cisgender privilege, able-bodied privilege, and developed world privilege (feel free to let me know if I’ve missed one). So obviously, what I’m about to say would not necessarily apply to people not in possession of that Royal Flush of privileges, and I’m also not in any way suggesting that our police don’t have many and quite serious issues of systemic failure and prejudice that they appear to not be fully facing up to. But what I can say is that in the times in my youth when I got stopped by the police while driving, I didn’t have to make sure to keep my hands on the wheel or on the dashboard for fear that if I did not, they might execute me.
If you Google “advice when stopped by police USA”:
Stop the car in a safe place as quickly as possible. Turn off the car, turn on the internal light, open the window part way, and place your hands on the wheel. If you're in the passenger seat, put your hands on the dashboard. Upon request, show police your driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance.
If you Google “advice when stopped by police UK”:
After coming to a stop in your safe place, you need to stay inside your vehicle. The police officer will approach you, so there's no need to get out. They'll need to talk to you, so you might want to roll your window down in preparation. If it's dark, turn on your interior light so that your face is visible.
Spot the difference. Note that in the UK you’re not required to carry your documents with you while driving (I guess your car is your mobile castle, or something) but the police can order you to produce those documents at the police station of your choice within seven days (known colloquially as “being given a producer”).
Schoolchildren being required to pledge allegiance to the country: Like, no. That’s not how it’s supposed to work with free citizens in a free democracy, right? From my perspective it just comes across as utterly, utterly bizarre, and border-line, well, fascistic.
Voter suppression: Now we do actually have a bit of this, and pretty much every-god-going knows there’s a lot wrong with our electoral system. But for now, at least, I can note in minutes rather than hours, and the boundaries of the constituencies within which I’m voted are set by an impartial, neutral electoral commission, rather than being gerrymandered to shit and back whenever the Republicans manage to take control of a legislature. (Although I do understand that part of the reason why it takes you a long time to vote is that while we’re only voting for elected representatives, you’re also voting for judges, police chiefs, school board members, and pretty much every minor official up to and including chief rat catcher of the county).
But of course, YMMV as they say! Live and let live. Unless you live in an HOA, that is.
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