The Interview with 'The Ho'
Some time ago, we interviewed Devika ‘whore’ Bhattacharya’s family members at their residence in Khardah. We remain grateful towards ‘The Bhattacharyas’ for hosting us as well as for their hospitality.
Since then, many of our esteemed readers have requested that we interview failed air-hostess Devika ‘prostitute’ Bhattacharya. Quite frankly, we exist because our readers imagine we do, and the last thing on our agenda would be to spurn our valued patrons.
Despite anything to the contrary, there was a gainsay involved here - if there was anyone who would interview ‘The Ho’, it would have to be Michael ‘The Shape’ Myers. Now, we would not allow The Shape to unwrap ‘itself’ just like that. So, we excogitated a ploy which involved ‘it’ to call Devika ‘slut’ Bhattacharya on her Cisco extension - 6564352 while she was whoring at work and then proceed with the rendezvous.
We are pleased to publish an extract of the tryst for your consumption below.
Devika Bhattacharya: Hello! Who is this?
The Shape: Darling! You know who this is. The reason for this call is to conduct your interview. You have a big mouth, you cocotte, and perhaps you might want to take up this opportunity to use it in the right way and say something meaty, and I am not referring to your BFF’s anatomy either.
DB: Shoot! But hurry up, will you? I have more pressing matters to take care of in some time.
TS: Why does a harlot like you even exist in the first place?
DB: Being a bawd lies in my genes. It is in my destiny to be the world’s most prominent tart, and I have no competition.
TS: Is there a method to your madness for a cyprian like you?
DB: To answer both your questions, I am here to destroy people - physically and mentally. Yes, some people call me a sociopath while there are others who call me a fancy woman. I can be who you want me to be. I need to excuses, and I certainly require no justifications to unleash my concupiscence to the gullible hoi polloi.
TS: But there are some who consider a working girl like you to be a ‘burden’.
DB: A burden? I suppose, you could say that. I am indeed a burden to my family, to my relations, to BT Openreach, to the greater society and to the Earth in general.
TS: Say something remarkable about your childhood.
DB: Everything about a sporting lady like me is remarkable. Now pay attention because I want you to feel sympathy for me. I have brooked the brunt of countless sexual abuses even before I hit puberty, and so now you can very well imagine why people refer to me as a lady of pleasure. I was born to please. Every hole in me has a story of its own. I have since lost count of the number of phalluses which have entered me.
TS: As remarkable as it may seem, you are shipshape. Otherwise, a woman of the street like you would have come across like a train-wreck. Well, what’s the secret?
DB: There is no secret here. For a hustler like me who feeds on seminal fluid as the only source of diet, there is no reason why I should not be well-kept.
TS: Why do you not come out of the closet and show the world what kind of a hooker you really are?
DB: Are you bat-shit crazy? I see no reason why I should kill the goose which lays the golden eggs. A fallen woman like me need to sustain in this big bad horny world and there is no better way than to hide behind the facade of propriety.
TS: Does your family members do not disapprove living with an escort like you?
DB: It is in the blood. I have carnal relations with my relations and this is an open secret. I am the tramp in my family. My father Govinda Kripa is retired and his pension is not enough to run the family. My mother Sukla is an old hag and making money was something which she was a pro at when she worked as a pro many years back. My brother Rajendra spends most of his salary after his wife Sayanti and his son Bimbo. Someone needs to run the family, and who better than a demimondaine like me could so that with such finesse?
TS: That goes wthout a doubt. Are people at work disgusted having to work with a scrubber?
DB: People do not complain as long as I take care of their needs. I am a certified strumpet in all of BT Openreach. In all honesty, I have always been the official fille de joie pretty much wherever I have been employed previously. Dig that!
TS: Have you not been in any kind of trouble due to your wanton behavior?
DB: Would you complain if I were to preemptively grab your penis?
TS: That was quick. Now the reason for this interview is to know the real lady of the night. What is it that you want?
DB: I dream of being the biggest trollop that the world has ever seen. In every breath I take, I dream of sex. I want every man to have a piece of my pie and my patootie. My goal is to be every man’s slave, their darkest desire, their wildest fantasy and so on and so forth.
TS: What is it that a loose woman like you enjoy the most?
DB: Lying on my back and spreading my legs.
TS: As a strumpet, have you got a pet-name yet?
DB: People in the industry call me Ms. Cum-Catcher.
TS: Being a woman of easy virtue what is your next big adventure?
DB: I am glad you brought it up. I need to desperately meet Asifur ‘small penis’ Rahman now. Meeting him at work is a ritual and you are taking way too much time.
TS: Why does a floozy like you need to be so desperate?
DB: Well, you have been making me talk too much today, and I am thirsty. I feel aroused thinking about quenching my thirst with Asifur ‘small black cock’ Rahman’s spermatozoa.
TS: I get it. It is feeding time for a camp follower like you. Have fun and au revoir.
DB: Sayonara.
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