THANKFUL THANKSGIVING TALES: TURKEYS AND LESBIANS
Vol. 1, No. 11
In this issue of the Reader, your grateful correspondent remembers a Thanksgiving past and reveals the term you can use after eating or drinking too much.
This week: a 5-minute read
DRESSING BY ANY OTHER CONNOTATION
‘Tis Thanksgiving weekend and we all have stories—funny, stupid, weird, horrible and even heartwarming stories—that come to mind as we gather around the dinner table with our loved ones, and even those we only like a little. Fortunately in my case, there isn’t a single relative I don’t simply adore to pieces.
Anyway, I can remember one Thanksgiving dinner at my grandparents’ farm near Port Burwell, Ontario, and I was seated at the kids’ table with my cousin Ross. We were the same age, maybe 42 or so. OK, I made that part up. We were like eight. So Ross digs into his plate, looks up and says, “I love dressing. Do you?”
Now you have to understand something here. I was not exactly “food literate.” This may be because our dear mother was not the best cook God put on this earth. (She did, however, bake a mean angel food cake. She was an angel food cake savant.) I had seen dressing on a plate before, usually at family functions such as this, but I had no idea what it was called. After all, dressing, or stuffing as it’s more commonly known now, was not part of my mum’s repertoire.
I looked at Ross as if he was from Mars. “Well, I never thought about it much,” I finally responded. “I suppose I like the part where you put on your socks.” Now Ross looked at me as if I was from Mars.
“I beg your pardon?” Ross has always been unfailingly polite.
“Socks. When you’re dressing and put on your socks.”
My cousin laughed, then pointed at his plate. “No, I meant the food.” He put a fork-full in his mouth. Ah, I said to myself, it’s called dressing. Boy, did I feel stupid.
As I said, stupid Thanksgiving stories.
SPEAKING OF STORIES
This from BuzzFeed:
A family friend, who made no secret of the fact she was gay, thought it would be a good idea to carry at least 20 plates across the living room before our Thanksgiving dinner. In a shocking surprise to absolutely no one, she dropped all the plates on the floor. It was then my grandfather uttered the most infamous words in family history: “You know those lesbians. Slippery fingers.”
AND THIS
That sick feeling you get after eating or drinking too much is called “crapulence.” I am not making this up.
FROM THE MAILBAG
Re ‘Connie’s Story Was Mine,’ Oct. 6. Your story reminded me of one of my prouder memories in newspapers, Terry. When I became editor of the newspaper in Mission, B.C., I was curious why we didn’t cover our obviously popular and successful local drag-racing track. The reason? The church ladies and watercolour guild disapproved. Well, if it’s here we cover it, I said, echoing an old mentor. Long story short, I was named the western National Hot Rod Association media person of the year and brought to the year-end banquet in Seattle for a trophy and gushing speech. True story. Don Button, Lund, B.C.
Ed. Note: Don was the editor of the Fraser Valley Record. No idea on the identity of the “old mentor,” though we hear he is an inveterate newsletter writer.
Re ‘Laugh, Then Apologize,’ Oct. 6. I really like your weekly post, Terry. It figures you know half the newspaper universe. Harry Stemp, Don Sancton and Phyllis Kraemer all noted in the same post! Thanks for reminding me what a great story-teller Harry was. Sandra Cruickshanks, Toronto, Ontario
Re ‘Gretzky’s Common Touch,’ Sept. 29. The Great One is great. I loved the details and all his gestures of connection. Touching the person you’re talking with is powerful. Even a little touch brings a smile. Adèle Fontaine, Edmonton, Alberta
We enjoy your Sunday newsletter, Terry. You have a unique style of writing that comes across here as well as in the books you’ve written. Kim Levie, Cranbrook, B.C.
I enjoy your weekly newsletters, Terry. Keep up the good work. Jaron Summers, Los Angeles, California
If you want to drop me a note (and risk me publishing it here), just reply to this email or, if you prefer send it to mysundayreader@gmail.com.
THIS WEEK’S SHAMELESS PLUG
Please check out Lethbridgetale.com for more on our book Lethbridge: A Tale of Love in a Time of War. There is an amazing story behind the story, and much of it is revealed here. The website includes a few published reviews, including this one written by former Vancouver Province and Windsor Star editor Wayne Moriarty:
Terry McConnell’s Lethbridge presents a poignant portrait of Canada’s Prairies in the early 1900s, as well as a rousing, sometimes harrowing, recollection of the capture of Vimy Ridge by Canadian soldiers during the First World War.
Through remarkable twists of fate, the paths of the three main characters intersect, diverge, and then intersect again. Their courage and indomitable will, as they meet challenge after challenge, aptly demonstrates the strength of the human spirit. In particular, the indefatigable Stanley possesses a resourcefulness that allows him to navigate a difficult situation in a most creative, and rather humorous, way.
Lethbridge is a pleasurable read for anyone interested in Canadian history and the First World War—or in the undeniable power of love.
A few final thoughts on what ought to be the eventual fate of this lovely little book:
School boards in Alberta would be well served to consider it as part of the high school curriculum, either for history or English classes;
Netflix Canada, CBC or any other streaming/TV domain in need of Canadian content have a sure-fire winner here just waiting for a thoughtful adaptation.
Remember, you may be eligible for free shipping on our special October bundle, Lethbridge and Cabbage Brain.
AND FINALLY …
From the “Dad jokes you can fob off around the dinner table at Thanksgiving” department:
“Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put on my glasses.”
Please forward this newsletter to a friend.
© Terry McConnell, 2024
