TAKE ON TRUMP, AND APRIL FOOLS’ STUFF
Vol. 1, No. 36
In this edition, your perturbed correspondent takes on Preston Manning and his latest diatribe, relates a timely Stemp story, and pitches the idea of a My Sunday Reader Book Club.
This week: A 7-minute read
MANNING’S BUBBLE
Preston Manning got up on his hind legs this week and proclaimed, and I am not making this up, that if the Mark Carney Liberals win the next election, it’s “a vote for Western secession”—meaning that most voters in Alberta and Saskatchewan, and maybe even British Columbia and Manitoba, would vote to leave Canada.
“The next prime minister of Canada, if it remains Mark Carney, would then be identified in the history books … as the last prime minister of a united Canada,” he wrote in a Globe and Mail op-ed.
Y’know, that really pisses me off. Wait, what? Oh, I’m not allowed to say that? OK then, that really frosts my Cheerios.
The first thing I feel compelled to say to Mr. Manning is, “Read the room, bud.” Canada is facing an existential crisis here. We are in for a tough time, thanks to the moronic behaviour of the President of the United States, something I will get into some other time. The absolute last thing we need is for this guy, whose best-before date was somewhere around 30 years ago, prattling on about something that will just make people more anxious than they already are.
Look, I get where this is coming from. Back in the ‘90s, I was an editor at Alberta Report, an magazine for the conservative cause. Most of the folks in our newsroom were what I’d consider an average sampling of regular Albertans, but the few true devotees there were genuinely committed to the cause, the type who sink their teeth into an ideal and don’t let go. Those kind of feelings don’t fade easily.
Moreover, we have friends and neighbours who still believe this notion of secession because they feel they cannot face another decade of federal insensitivity to the concerns of a large chunk of the country that frankly drives the national economy.
And yet, this idea of secession really only gains traction in a few key areas, namely in the boardrooms of Calgary’s oil barons and in rural communities, primarily those in the ranchlands of southern Alberta. This is the bubble Preston Manning has lived in for decades. It’s us vs. them at a time when the nation really needs wider recognition that we’re in it together.
“This so-called ‘movement’ is more like a ‘fringe minority,” says Jared Wesley, a political science professor with the University of Alberta in Edmonton. Data from pollster Angus Reid shows people who support the idea of ditching Canada mainly live in Alberta or Saskatchewan and are less likely to support a major political party. Alberta is definitely the high-water mark for secession, and even that is less than a third of all voters. Saskatchewan lags around a quarter. B.C. and Manitoba are significantly less. And that’s now, when feelings are the most raw. Only 11 per cent of Western voters believe secession will ever happen.
Yet there sits Preston Manning, stirring the pot with an ample helping of grievance politics.
As Brian Mulroney once said after John Turner had appointed Liberal Party hanger-on Bryce Mackasey the ambassador to Portugal, “There’s no whore like an old whore.” This is just Preston Manning hanging his shingle.
GRIEVANCES ASIDE
“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.”—Preston Manning
NEVER SELL US SHORT
OK, let’s take a beat here. How about a Harry Stemp story? This one suggests Canadian confidence cannot be shaken, no matter how trying the times.
President Trump was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
“Hello, President Trump,” a heavily accented voice said. “This is Archie, up ‘ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger’s Cove, Newfoundland. I am callin’ to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya, eh.”
“You’ve got a lot of nerve, Archie,” said Trump. “How big is your army?”
“Right now,” said Archie after a moment’s calculation, “there is myself, me cousin Harold , me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!”
Trump quietly fumed. "I must tell you, Archie, I have a million men in the U.S. Army who will move on my command.”
“Wow,” said Archie. “I'll have ta call ya back!”
The next day, Archie called again. “Mr. Trump, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment! We have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry’s farm tractor.”
President Trump was beginning to get agitated. “I gotta tell you Archie, that I have 5,000 tanks and 4,500 armored personnel carriers. Also I’ve called in 200,000 Marines since we last spoke.”
“Lord above,” said Archie, “I’ll be getting back to ya.”
Archie rang again the next day. “President Trump, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an’ modified Harrigan’s ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!”
Trump went silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. “I gotta tell you, Archie—his voice took on a more threatening tone—the air force and navy have 1,500 bombers and fighters combined, all of which can be in Newfoundland in minutes.”
“Jumpins, Lord tunderin!” said Archie. ”l’ll have ta call youse back.”
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. “Mr. Trump, I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis ‘ere war.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Trump, feeling triumphant. “Why the change of heart?”
“Well, b’y,” said Archie, “we’ve all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints and come to realize dat dere’s no way we can feed a quarter of a million prisoners.”
MORE ‘DEAR TERRY’ LETTERS
Re ‘What Failed Them,’ March 30. I thank God for fearless journalism, Terry. Keep on keeping on. Linda Smibert, Edmonton, Alberta
Ed. Note: Aww, thanks Linda.
Re ‘If the Yanks Bring It, We’re Ready,’ April 1. April Fools, Terry. Sandra Cruickshanks, Toronto, Ontario
Terry, I’m sure you had lots of fun through the years with April 1st. You almost had me sucked in with that one, hook line and sinker. Super fun. My favourite April 1st story when we were in the newspaper biz was when we reported our local fair’s enclosed circular horse track was going to be turned into a circular covered airplane runway. All-weather, you see. Readers believed it, too. Lorne Eedy, St. Marys, Ontario
Loved the “torpedo” story, Terry. Great photo to sell it. Doug McKinnon, Mississauga, Ontario
Hi Terry. I loved your April 1st newsletter and shared it with a few friends. I did get several replies from folks who enjoyed it, and one who didn’t realize it was April 1st and wasn’t sure those things would still work after all these years. Anyway, I always enjoy what you post. Ted Smith, Sherwood Park, Alberta
If you want to drop me a note (and risk me publishing it here), just reply to this email or, if you prefer send it to mysundayreader@gmail.com.
A DIFFERENT SHAMELESS PLUG
We’re going to do something a little different this week and pitch an idea that has been bouncing off a few noggins for awhile now. We call it the My Sunday Reader Book Club. Every week, subscribers to the book club would receive a serialized installment of whichever of my books we’re featuring at the time. Unlike with this newsletter, there would be a small patronage fee, like five bucks a month, an amount that should not put a dent in your coffee budget.
All our subscribers to My Sunday Reader would continue to receive the newsletter for free.
So, why serialize our stories? English-language authors have serialized their stories in magazines for decades. One of the earliest examples would be Charles Dickens and his vast catalogue of stories told through the penny press. A Christmas Carol would be a good example. Then there’s Arthur Conan Doyle who serialized his Sherlock Holmes stories in Strand Magazine, and Agatha Christie whose serialized work appeared in the Saturday Evening Post. They also published serializations for Jack London, Nero Wolfe, P.G. Woodhouse and William Faulkner.
Frankly, the mechanics of all this, reconfiguring the manuscripts for serial telling, not to mention the technical side for making it all work, remain an unfinished task. Still, revisiting our stories and rejigging them for serialization sounds like great fun. We’re hoping you will find the result equally fun for you.
That’s it till next week. / T.
© Terry McConnell, 2025
Please note: Artificial intelligence was not used in the preparation or writing of any part of this newsletter.