STORMY FORECAST AHEAD, THAT MADMAN, AND PET NAMES
In this edition, your observant correspondent checks in on who’s doing stand-up now, wonders whether Elton and Bernie had a crystal ball, reflects on Timothy Dalton’s career as a hedgehog, and catches up with his mail.
This week: a 5-minute read plus a 7-minute attached video
STEPHANIE’S STORMY GIG
Far be it for us to weigh in on the myriad ways and means folks present themselves to earn an honest living. We are the last to judge. So it is with generous hearts we serve up kudos to one Stephanie Clifford on her latest gig.
If that name doesn’t ring a bell, you might know her better as Stormy Daniels, key witness in the fraud trial that transformed Donald Trump from first citizen to convicted felon. According to Chicago Sun-Times columnist Richard Roeper, Stormy is supplementing her income these days as a stand-up comic—and she’s pretty good at it, too. She did a gig at the Comedy Plex Club in Oak Park, Illinois, recently and made some spot-on observations about her experiences with Trump, with whom she had an unexpected and, for him, expensive sexual encounter in 2006.
“He can’t vote, but he can be voted for?” she wondered about how felons aren’t allowed to cast a ballot. “How is this possible?”
Daniels says comedy affords her the opportunity to speak her truth while incurring chilling vitriol and overly specific death threats from MAGA followers. She joked onstage about how her daughter could misinterpret her career, musing, “‘Mommy’s a nurse!’ Yeah, on Pornhub.”
TRUMP AND MARILYN
Back in 1971, Elton John and his band recorded the album Madman Across the Water. For early Elton enthusiasts—of which I was one—it was a brilliant compilation. Also, the title was controversial. Some fans thought it might have been a reference to then-U.S. President Richard Nixon, though Elton’s composing partner Bernie Taupin dispelled such notions.
Nowadays, however, it’s a different story. As we thought about that album this week, we couldn’t help but wonder: could anyone really blame an Englishman for suspecting the title has something to do with Donald Trump? Just asking, of course.
By the way, there are some excellent tunes on the album but the best is Tiny Dancer, written for Bernie’s wife. Here is likely the best music video ever put together for that tune. It was produced by YouTube and premiered at Cannes as a 50th anniversary commemoration of Elton’s and Bernie’s partnership. Consider it a love letter to Angelenos. Marilyn Manson does a cameo.
WE ALL HAVE OUR DAVE
Someone recently—and I’m sorry, I don’t remember who it was—wrote that in the wake of American threats of tariffs, Canada should adopt the mentality and self-defence strategies of the hedgehog. You know, all spikes and stuff, and more trouble than it’s worth.
Incidentally, owning a hedgehog is illegal in California. We found that out the hard way.
Anyway, our daughter Carson once owned a hedgehog. She named it Timothy Dalton after the famous British actor who portrayed James Bond in two movies and played Heathcliff in a very good 1970 version of Wuthering Heights. Yes, the resemblance was striking.
Yet as bizarre as that may sound, Timothy Dalton was not the weirdest name we bestowed upon a family pet. That distinction belongs to our longtime beloved dog Dave, a terrier cross. Dave was named after a family friend who lives in Burlington, Ontario. (They shared the same frisky salt-and-pepper beard.) Also, our Dave was a girl. She lived to be 14 and was probably the smartest dog we’ve owned, and we’ve owned quite a few. Dave was the best. Timothy Dalton was pretty good, too, but wasn’t nearly as smart.
MORE ‘DEAR TERRY’ LETTERS
Re ‘Desperate Times. Desperate Measures,’ Feb. 2. Another great newsletter, Terry. I remember when we were together at a stakeholder review before meeting with Ontario Premier Bob Rae, and you said the first page of your employee manual stated: “Use common sense at all times. If that fails, turn the page.” I might be paraphrasing, but you emote common sense at all (most) times. Lorne Eedy, St. Marys, Ontario
I thought your newsletter was excellent, Terry. Our country is fat and lazy, and we’re reaping the sour fruits of our own complacency. Canadians need to be serious about taking back control of our own fate. The way I see it, Canada just had its first heart attack. There wasn’t much damage done, but the doctor has just told us to stop smoking, cut down on the booze, lose 25 pounds and get in shape. We are the masters of our own collective destiny. We just have to get serious about it. James Baxter, Ottawa, Ontario
Hi Terry. A Canadian version of the Marshall plan might have some legs. I like the idea of joining the EU but I don't think it will happen anytime soon. We would have to get in line behind a number of truly European nations. And while we do have a free trade agreement with the EU, it is only provisional and has yet to be ratified by a number of EU members. Canada should keep pushing it, though. Petroleum, liquid natural gas and rare earth minerals are not insignificant bargaining chips. Ross Gill, Waterloo, Ontario
I like your Marshall Plan for Canada’s survival, Terry. Too bad there won’t be time to get it off the ground before Trump declares a national security emergency, closes the border, issues an executive order suspending the Constitution and sends Ottawa an ultimatum—while the rest of the world quivers in awe of the “Führer of the West.” I’m joking, of course, but then again ... . Larry Carrick, Puce, Ontario
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THIS WEEK’S SHAMELESS PLUG
We were so, so fortunate in 2008 when our literary agent shared the news that our first book, I’d Trade Him Again, a biography of former Tilbury car dealer Peter Pocklington, was going to be published by Fenn Publishing. All we had to do at that point was write the bloody thing. Well, they loved it and even commissioned an updated paperback version a year later.
A few years after that, when the rights to the book reverted back to my writing partner J’lyn Nye and myself, we retitled the book The Puck Talks Here and commissioned another press run. It retained all the stuff from the original and to this day remains a great read about someone who, as one reviewer wrote, “is neither a villain nor a hero.”
For the rest of February, we’re taking $3 off the retail price for the book, so you can buy it at terrymcconnell.com for $12.95, or the ebook for $4.95. We take Visa, MasterCard or PayPal. And I thank you.
See ya next week. / T.
Please note: Artificial intelligence was not used in the preparation or writing of any part of this newsletter.