JOINING EUROPE IS A NUMBERS GAME. SO IS THE LOTTERY
Vol. 1, No. 16
Sad about Trump? In this issue of the Reader, your accountable correspondent investigates the merits of joining Europe, takes note of ways to lose in the lottery even when you win, and serves up another video to inspire a smile.
This week: a 5-minute read plus a 1-minute video
INSTEAD OF MOVING TO EUROPE, JOIN IT
There has been speculation swirling since 2005 that Canada could—some say should—join the European Union. The people who think this is a good idea—and I’m beginning to think they are on to something—make the case that the cultural and political values of Canadians and Europeans have much in common, and that Canadian membership would strengthen both sides of the equation, politically and economically.
Make no mistake. Canada is a trading nation. Our very viability as a sovereign state depends on it. Moreover, we already have a free-trade agreement with the EU and in 2019, we did about $125 billion in total trade with them. However, we did three times that much trade with the U.S., our largest trading partner, which accounts for close to three-quarters of all the trade we do worldwide.
Three-quarters. With one country.
In order to protect that business, Canada also has had a free-trade agreement with the States going back to 1988. We fought an election over it. However, that arrangement is due for another makeover in 2026, and we’ll be dealing with an American President who doesn’t like free trade very much. This can’t be good for us, and it’s made worse by the fact he brings a transactional “we win, you lose” mindset to his trade talks. Lots of folks believe it’s better to keep our options open, especially if the border with the U.S. is suddenly, capriciously closed.
OK, that’s not likely but weighing the possibility, is membership with the EU so weird?
Evidently, Canada already meets the EU’s existing membership criteria. France, Belgium and Luxembourg would likely welcome the idea if it means Quebec is part of the deal. Also, it might help dampen separatist sentiments in Quebec.
To be sure, at first blush Canada is separated from Europe by 3,000 kilometres of open North Atlantic. Yet Denmark is an EU member and Denmark runs Greenland and, as it happens, Greenland is separated from Canada by only 25 kilometres. Also, there is Cyprus, technically part of Asia but also an EU member. So there.
Consider this one number one with a bullet.
HERE’S A GOOD DAD JOKE
Speaking of Europe, scientists there got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk. The results were staggering.
WHEN YOUR NUMBER IS UP
Play the lottery? Millions do, whether it be on a casual basis (“What am I going to get my mother-in-law for Christmas?”) or as seriously as a heart attack (“I’ll take 25 of everything and I’ll be back on Thursday for more”). Well, to paraphrase Wayne Gretzky, you can’t win if you don’t buy a ticket.
Yet there is a numerical oddity about lotteries I’m betting you haven’t noticed.
Alert reader Don Sancton of Beaconsfield, Quebec, certainly did. Notice, I mean. He writes to say that “like many, I buy the occasional lottery ticket and then try to remember to look up the results.” He did just that the other morning to check the winning numbers from the previous night’s 6/49 lottery. That’s when he noticed the odd thing. In addition to someone from Quebec winning the big pot of $5 million, there were 18 (“count ‘em!” he notes) second-place winners who had five of the six winning numbers plus the “bonus” number. Don points out that it's rare there are more than two such winners, and often there are none.
Well, too bad, so sad because unfortunately for these winners, it means the prize money will be divvied up 18 ways. That means each winner will receive just $10,052.40. Sure, “it’s a nice return on a $3 ticket, but hardly comparable to the $180,943.20 that a single winner would have received,” he notes.
So what’s up with that? In looking closely, the reason for so many winners becomes clear. The winning six numbers were 05, 15, 17, 29, 35 and 45 and the bonus number was 25. All five of the possible numbers ending in 5 were picked. Anyone who selected all those numbers plus 17 or 29 as their sixth number won second place, “which obviously 18 Canadians did.”
Don says the moral of the story is this: go ahead and select your lotto numbers in some patterned way, but if they do eventually pay off for you, don’t be disappointed that you’re not the only one.
FROM THE MAILBAG
Re ‘Farewell to Old Stuff,’ Nov. 10. Terry, if the detritus left behind by the Austrian soldiers living in an Alps’ cave doesn’t seem familiar, then you’ve blanked out our college Summer of ’ 73 on Stanley Avenue in Hamilton, residing amidst the squalor of our roommate, Big Jack. Brian McAndrew, Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario
Re ‘How Do You Sterilize a Hippo?’ Nov. 10. Hey Dad, I think we’ve identified the person with the shittiest job in the world. It’s the Colombian guy with a big pair of gardening shears who has to try and sneak up on a sleeping bull hippo. Carson McConnell, North Shields, England
If you want to drop me a note (and risk me publishing it here), just reply to this email or, if you prefer send it to mysundayreader@gmail.com.
NO SHAMELESS PLUG
There was no shameless plug for one week back in August. In its place we posted a video we made back in 2015 when we lived in southern California. It was shot at the Palm Springs Municipal Cemetery to commemorate my brother Mike’s 65th birthday.
Well, the reader response was rather gratifying so this week, we’re taking a second breather from the shameless plug to offer another celebratory video for my brother’s birthday, this one marking his 70th in 2020. Be advised no one was harmed in the making of this video. It’s a little over a minute long.
FINALLY, IT’S GREY CUP SUNDAY …
… and yay, our traditional turkey dinner. Go Arrrrrrrgooooooos! See ya next Sunday. / T.
© Terry McConnell, 2024
