#BlackLove is a scam
Heey it’s been a while! I got pulled in a lot of different directions for a bit there but we’re back! Also for mysterious reasons which you will find out soon-ish, I will probably be using this newsletter A Lot More.
Anyways, here’s a short bit about a few things I’ve been engaging with before we get into the meat of the newsletter:
Call Me When You Get Home - How did Tyler make 2 no-skip AOTY contenders in a row? This feels like a culmination of all his previous work and you love to see it.
Tongues Untied [1989] - Fucking phenomenal, one of my new favourites and now makes me want to start making my own films
A Bagful of Fleas [1962] - Catching up on a filmmaker I’ve never watched before and loving it! Vera Chytilova is awesome!
Homie/My Nig - Danez Smith - A fucking phenomenal poetry collection. In love with this book of poetry that I somehow just found unclaimed on the grass of Soho Square. Like the world giving a gift to me specifically
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Now let’s get to business.
The title of this newsletter is a quote from a convo I had with my friend Tonye (@SimplyAYT on Twitter) which inspired this article. This is one of those “I’m speaking to Black people but non-Black folks can listen in and see if ya learn anything” type vibes.
The one thing which I want to do from the outset here is make a rhetorical distinction, which as you possibly already know, is one of my favourite things to do when I’m making a point. Black Love is a very broad idea that encompasses all sorts of relations and connections and has existed as long as Blackness itself. The thing I will be critiquing today is predominantly “#BlackLove”, which is more of a recent social media/broader cultural phenomenon through which people talk about and display their love and relations with other Black people.
“#BlackLove” is presented as this thing which is inherently radical, and in some ways it is. The construction of desirability politics in the West places Black people (and especially Black women) very low on the totem pole. Rejecting those standards and finding beauty and love in Blackness does push against those standards and white supermacist ideas.
What incited the above conversation with Tonye was (ex police officer and ex Love Islander) Mike Boateng’s recent complaints about feeling like he had to represent “#BlackLove” on the TV screen and in public even after the show had ended. When people pushed back on his assertions he then went on a tirade which included him boasting about being the only man to ever choose two Black women on that show (which…..okay then).
What Boateng’s saga exposes is the degree to which #BlackLove is something which is branding. That’s what got him and Priscilla trending on social media and really is what made them notable as stars from that show. It’s also a profitable brand! OWN has a TV show called Black Love where Black couples discuss their relationships, it’s also something which is very frequently mentioned by Netflix’s social media team.
There’s a jarring contrast between that branding and the material realities which reveals some of the hollowness inside. Mike Boateng was a police officer up until joining that show. Was there #BlackLove at the end of his baton when he worked for an office of the state which is persistently violent towards Black people? This isn’t to begrudge anyone who was happy to see something which is clearly rare on British TV screens, but the contradiction is a pretty demonstration of the issues contained within this cultural object.
When we look at the people whose #BlackLove gets elevated, it shows that a lot of those white supremacist ideas which it is supposed to fight have actually still been maintained through the categories of who is excluded. The people worthy of said love are non-fat, argely cishet and middle/upper class - forms of discrimination which are all created (or at least influenced) by white supremacy. Those who exist outside of that presentable personhood must be Exceptional to be allowed in, and they must shrink to the most easily comprehensible version of themselves. Asking for fraught things to be more diverse isn’t the be all and end all, but it is a useful look into whether these ideas are liberatory or not.
Beyond questions of inclusivity, a fundamental problem is that the understanding of “#BlackLove” is always through a very individualised lens which plays into the atomism which neoliberalism relies on. It’s always steeped in ideas around monogamous romance and nuclear families. There is little inherently wrong with those formations, but when they are the only structures allowed to be “#BlackLove”, the links of solidarity and love beyond the nuclear which have been key to Black struggle and liberation are weakened.
When it comes to having discussions around #BlackLove we get trapped in the shallowest and most individualistic version of desirability politics without making the broader structural links required for a true radicalism.
At the fringes a weird bio-essentialism also creeps in here. People will bring up population data to show how “#BlackLove” clearly isn’t being engaged with in real life - often using numbers of mixed race children etc. I have no interest in debating whether you should date/love/whatever outside your race, I think it’s an asinine discussion spearheaded by bored people who need to get a hobby. However, I will say there is a real danger in people doing ‘progressive’ race realism, as if Blackness isn’t a messy and shifting social category, but instead an essence which can be measured and diluted. Obviously Black people didn’t create this race realist ideology but we sure as hell shouldn’t be the ones helping to uphold it.
Crucially “#BlackLove” is never mobilised to push for social housing which would allow for people to more easily start a family.
“#BlackLove” is never used to fight for (Black) disabled people to keep their benefits after getting married so that they aren’t completely under the control of their partners.
“#BlackLove” is never about ensuring that Black queer people can love whoever the fuck they want (including themselves) without facing violence.
Or what about when “#BlackLove” goes wrong? Where is the push for giving people the support and resources to be able to escape abusive situations? Instead of using love as a motivator to fight for others it becomes a vapid and aesthetic commodity for the Black middle class.
I think love is a powerful force. It helps keep us grounded and caring about the world around us. It should be the fuel for any liberatory struggle, Black or otherwise. But let’s not reduce it to a commodity for the middle classes when it can be so much more. We need an all-encompassing and powerful Black love that we can use to tear down the systems that bind us. Then and only then can we truly love freely.
As always you can hit me up @naijaprince21 on Twitter if you have any thoughts and feelings about this! Always appreciate your support whether that’s verbal, financial (ko-fi.com/tayowrites) or whatever else.
I’m less online lately, but whsiper on the winds and maybe you’ll fine me! Always appreciate your support whether that’s verbal, financial (ko-fi.com/tayowrites) or whatever else.