i wish i could go back to the day when i finished school. the date was february 2, a day after my birthday. when i walked through the empty school playground, dragging my first and only denim jeans jacket on my shoulders, flapping its already short sleeves dangling on the sides. my right cheek cut and a swollen face that schoolmates then thought was great makeup. the jester of the group, i had a boyfriend before most in my 'group', so people never really bothered much. i wish i could go back to that day so i could lose my self to this song.

walking the road back home, with the girl who i thought was my best friend, as she lamented about not winning the evening title, which was won by her actual best friend. my best friend was the hottest girl in school then, probably still is. she gets married this week.

most think that that is the day when the music dies for them, but that was the day when i could feel the bitterness on my chapped lips. i was quick to grasp at the fact that all of life was going to be a shitshow, so while 'growing up' when life actually went rosey every once in a while, i was taken aback.